Feeling really overwhelmed
have appointment for specialised unit for my main MH issue, don’t think I can deal with it all .
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Hi letitbe, I can just imagine how anxious you must be feeling. I don't suppose you could do it over the phone with them instead? I would ring them up and say you feel overwhelmed and just can't face it. They have probably had lots of experience with others in a similar situation, and should be very sympathetic and willing to work with you. If they insist you need to visit them, do you have a friend or family member who could take you? Or someone in a local voluntary group who would be willing to take you? Whoever it is, they would take some of the strain away from the situation. If none of this is possible, I'd contact your GPs and explain you couldn't do this right now. Maybe they'll be able to prescribe something to help calm you down? Or maybe they could suggest another course of action altogether. Best of luck letitbe. These things are always stressful, but from my experience you find they aren't as bad on the day as you think they'll be. Take care xx
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thx so much feistypigeon , I think it’s all face to face only , it’s really difficult to be even accepted for the referral so I feel totally stuck that if I don’t go there’ll be nothing else to help , it’s a specialised unit that has referrals from all over the UK . I’ve asked a friend if they can come and they’ve said yes but I’m really stressing about it and haven’t slept all night over it . I think I’m also really scared about being rejected because sets off all sorts of other things .
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Hi dear @letitbe ,
Please, i would like to write to you that im really sorry that your appointment is causing you a lot of stress , and you didn’t sleep last night , im sending you warm hugs and im also wishing you that this appointment will be successful with as little stress as possible for you. Please take care of yourself the best you can for the time being.
Kind regards and best wishes ♥️
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Hi @letitbe, that sounds really nerve-wracking, sorry to hear it's been affecting your sleep. It's good that your friend will be able to come with you if you're able to go. though.
Is the appointment quite soon or do you have a bit of time to think about it?
Hope you can manage to get some rest soon.
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Hi letitbe,
It's good news your friend is going with you : ) And it's probably little use us telling you not to worry…! But if it's a specialised unit with patients from all over the country it would be really good if you could go, I'm sure you'd be glad you went afterwards.
What I've found from medical assessments + advised others I know (one of whom has autism) is that this is one time when they don't want to see you at your best. Try to let that sink in. That means they really want to see you at your worst and what difficulties you're experiencing, whether you're anxious or depressed or panicking or whatever. But one good thing to remember is that you'll probably never see these people again outside that assessment center, so you don't need to worry about how bad you look to them.
For example, my own experience I have a progressive and now pretty bad head tremor, and it's hard to not get embarrassed about it, I feel like Noddy, and even though I know people don't think anything worse of me, it can be really hard. But if medical assessments didn't see the head tremor, they'd say I was exaggerating the problem.
The same with you too, try to go and don't worry about disguising your problem if you can, be as anxious or whatever as you feel. And try not to worry what they think of you, you'll probably never see them outside the assessment center. Cos at the end of the day if they are as you say a top place in the country, that's where you'll get the best help.
Keep in touch, let us know when it is and what happens. And lots of hugs from us all
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Cancelled!
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thanks so much Agnia , I hope you’re feeling ok and hope you’re sleeping a bit better too . Sending warm hug to you too and thanks so much for the support .
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thanks Rosie - everything seems to have happened really quickly and I just feel a bit rushed and can’t find my thoughts. The appt is quite soon , maybe it’s just the initial shock and it’ll subside a bit hopefully 🤞.
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Thanks again FeistyPigeon , sorry to hear about your tremor and hope you’re doing ok ?
I’ll def take on board what you’ve said , it’s just constantly being judged that can really grind me down and you’re absolutely right if I didn’t feel so terrible I wouldn’t need the help, it’s a big thing even being accepted to this place for an assessment so I’m really thankful for that .I’ll def keep you all updated and thanks so much again for your support .
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Thank you very, very much , dear @letitbe ♥️, i will ask my gp doctor if could prescribe me a different drug than zopiclone, maybe will help me better ,
im sending you my best wishes and im wishing you a peaceful night, please take care and rest well.
Kind regards .
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I know just how you feel letitbe, it can be really humiliating. But going to this place would be the best thing for you, and that's more important than feeling like an idiot, and far better than faffing around with others who don't really know what they're doing.
I'm in the same boat, got to wait until Nov before being triaged for a specialist center. Where we are is pretty rural and NHS not the best, you're given the standard options and if they don't work, bad luck, you just put up with things month after month after month. I find the most frightening thing is not really knowing the cause or how bad things could get.
The NHS being strapped of resources is of course no help, wealthy people jump the queue while the rest of us are left to rot. So I'd grab the opportunity while you can letitbe, it could well all be privatised if Reform+Tories get in next election, and like me your life's ticking away.
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letitbe do you feel judged because of how you look or sound, or is it because they don't believe you've the problem you say you have? Whatever it is, you're much less likely be judged in a specialist center where they have knowledge + expertise in your area. The judgements come from ignorance. You might find this specialist unit a breath of fresh air compared to how you've been treated until now - let's hope so!
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thanks so much for all your support FeistyPigeon .
I hope you get the support needed- waiting until November is such a long way off, is there nothing you can do to speed up the process ?I’ve been judged my whole life since childhood, mainly to do with how I looked when I was young, all a bit traumatic tbh .
I know you’re right about the specialist unit offering the support / therapy I need to maybe finally live a bit of life, I’m absolutely dreading going tbh - I’m sure most people do - it’s a really long assessment process and I think I’m partly fearing that after everything they’ll say they can’t help me.
Hope you’re having a nice evening and thanks again for all the support.
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Thanks your kind words about me letitbe. I'm doing what I can to see if there's a way to minimise the tremors, keeping a diary to look for patterns + doing some research on the web. The docs aren't much use, you have to make suggestions or nothing gets done, and of course they've one eye on the cost, the Tories brought in a new ruling that GPs that spend over-budget get penalised, and pretty sure Streeting hasn't rescinded it. One reason so many jump the gun and pay for private treatment.
As for yourself, that must've been pretty tough when you were young + I can imagine what an impact it would have had on you.
As for the assessment, yes there's always that fear that they can't do anything for you. I've had my condition all my adult life, worse as the decades have passed. I saw a specialist back in my late 20s and asked him then how bad it would get. He told me bluntly it would get much worse and they wouldn't be able to do anything about it. I came away from there feeling I'd been run over by a bus. But that was several decades ago now and they've made loads of advances + are improving all the time.
So I wouldn't give up letitbe. Even if they say at the end of this assessment, nothing can be done, give it a few more years and things could improve. I'd certainly give the assessment a go, you never know, you could strike lucky. One thing I've learnt is just how short life is, you think in your 20s it'll go on forever but then you spin round a few times and suddenly discover you're not far off retirement! So grab every chance you've got, if you get something good out of it you'll be so glad you went, even with the mammoth assessment you'll have to go through. But try to put it to the back of your mind now if you can + enjoy the spring sunshine xx
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thanks FeistyPeigeon - seems like you’ve been through the wringer too, I hope you get the support you need - sometimes kicking up a bit of fuss can get things moving a bit faster , hope they can get to the bottom of this for you - unbelievable that you’re left to try and understand it yourself, hope you have some support around you .
Thanks for all the words of support , they’re much appreciated and I’ll def let you know what happens .
Hope you’re having a restful evening !
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