Dr Tuppy Owens 12 November 1944 - 28th February 2025

Richard_Scope

https://youtu.be/H3fq2DE3_Gc?si=Gn-v1TpDHfQ7VseM

Hello Everyone,

The unique and indefatigable Dr Tuppy Owens passed away peacefully on Friday, 28th February 2025, from vascular dementia. A wonderful colleague and friend.

Tuppy’s life revolved around her two loves: The Outsiders Trust (including the Club, SHADA and the TLC-Trust) and her life on the croft with her cherished husband. She had great fun when on Outsider's business, visiting her friends and meeting colleagues around the UK, especially in London, and was equally as happy in her office looking over the countryside and concocting some plan for the Outsider's Trust.  

Over the years, she inspired immense loyalty through all her initiatives.  She had a wonderful gift of building enthusiasm amongst people of all backgrounds and bringing them together to create something innovative and always sumptuous, including the Sex Maniacs Ball (later known as the Night of the Senses) and the Erotic Awards (now known as the Sexual Freedom Awards).

She was a disruptor, leading the charge for disability equality, relationships and sexual expression. She was a leading light of the sexual revolution in the 60s and 70s, later on campaigning for the rights of sex workers. 

SHADA was an incredibly important part of her whole objective.  It was founded to "break down barriers" in institutions so that more disabled people could enjoy relationships and explore their sexuality. Whether that was in schools or universities, through organisations and individuals who worked in health and social care or via local authorities, government and inept legal frameworks. Basically the people who make and put in place education, training, care plans, guidelines, policies and law. Often, novel thinkers were working in isolation, and the SHADA conferences brought their ideas to others and enhanced their own confidence in their work.  

Tuppy was very proud of the groundbreaking conference organised with the Royal Society of Medicine in 2009 called Disability: Sex, Relationships and Pleasure. Out of this came the Sex and Disability Toolkit, a website that primarily she and Alex Cowan developed (at the moment, it is being updated) and the book which encapsulated all her advice

 Supporting Disabled People with their Sexual Lives

, 2014, written with Professor Claire de Than. Underlying all Tuppy's work was practicality and so she was a huge advocate of sex workers as facilitators.

SHADA will continue of course. Tuppy attended for as long as she could when the conferences moved online; always appreciating the presentations.

The sexual freedom that we enjoy today undoubtedly was influenced by Tuppy’s open-mindedness. She walked her talk and she supported our right to follow our own forms of consensual adult expression. She was most definitely her own person and was unwilling to be categorised.

Rest in peace Tuppy - you have done the groundwork for positive social change.

Steve_in_The_City

I knew Tuppy in the early/mid 1970's or thereabouts. It is a long time ago, I was just a young guy. I was not her friend (or enemy!) our interchange was purely professional. Yet I do remember her as a nice and forthright free thinking lady. I think at the time she was on the radio as a sex therapist. I am not sure, as it was a long time ago. I did a bit of radio work myself (totally unrelated to Tuppy) and in the early 1970's attitudes were changing but fast. I was a radical young guy and I got attention and media coverage. I wish I could do it now but I am too old and knack…d. (I did not use the full word because of the ridiculously extreme censorship on this forum).

Decades later I bumped into Tuppy when she was overseeing a meeting of The Outsiders Club in a central London Bar. The bar has areas you can reserve, and they had reserved the area where the disabled loo is. It was closed off with red ropes. I was on my mobility scooter and had to use the loo. So I pulled-up to the red rope and she came and un-did it (sorry for the word un-did, I don't know what other word to say). I don't remember our conversation because it is a good few years ago but basically it went along the lines of nice to see you again.

I am sorry Tuppy has passed. I think she was a good champion for disabled people and the right to have sex and relationships.

JW77

I met Tuppy, or 'aunty Tuppy' as I eventually nicknamed her, around 2007.. At an event in London.. I then joined the Outsiders club, which for me was amazingly refreshing, and what I needed.
Here's the post I put on Facebook ..


"I met Tuppy through her work with the peer supported disability & dating group the Outsiders Club, which I joined in 2007..

Myself & Tuppy at the popular Outsiders picnic (other member is blurred for privacy)
She was quite a character, strongly opinionated. Pioneering in her work, for the disabled community. We didn't always agree.

Its thanks to her work & Outsiders that I've not only met, and sometimes dated, some fantastic people, but also had the opportunity to attend events, present at the Royal Society of Medicine. She helped many, inspired others.. 

I remember, also discussions about her life in Scotland, the health of her dogs, the sheep on the croft.. She held a degree in Zoology from Exeter Uni. 

She will be missed by many, but her projects, including Outsiders still remain."

Sadly the club is still struggling, with membership/ or attendance at the socials.. The lunches/social events have dwindled.. I do however hop to make the trip to the picnic in London this year, even if its just a few people.