Do You Have Difficulty Having Sex Due to Tight Muscles?

Richard_Scope

No subject is off-limits for Sam at Inclusfit!

This subject was brought up by a few of my PT clients. Those with spastic cerebral palsy have high spasticity in their muscles. This means we get tight muscles very quickly and this can also mean we get a lot of pain.

This also limits our movement & what we can do. Those with spastic CP especially females find sex difficult or frustrating due to the high spasticity in our muscles, especially our leg muscles, mainly our adductors & adductors.

This means the movement to open the legs can be extremely limited depending on the type of CP that person has. This means sex can be extremely frustrating and even more so for single females with CP, where men are not understanding of this.

Trust me, there are a lot of men who are not understanding! If you have spastic CP, and find sex difficult & / or frustrating, want to have more enjoyable sex without being in pain due to tight muscles.

Would you be interested in a prerecorded workshop on exercises that will help with loosening the tight muscles that are affected?

Please comment below or private message.

There will be no embarrassment or awkwardness from us on this subject & I like to openly talk about disability sex & educate nondisabled people that we do, can & want to have sex & bin the preconceived notions that disabled people cannot have sex!

I have spastic diplegia & do understand all the frustrations we have on having & enjoying sex.

2021lala_smith86

I have mild spastic diplegia and since my first time i still experience pain and tightness I had my son when I was 19 been with my partner since school he is very understanding and finds it very uncomfortable as we both know what my stupid body does as a result we gave up years ago i/we have tried everything nothing works it's so frustrating making love is supposed to be the most natural thing in the world

2021lala_smith86

I sm 39 now

Richard_Scope

Cerebral palsy, among other disabilities, can involve spasticity. Your muscles might feel stiff, and you might have to focus a lot of energy to move them. You might also experience spasms and pain. People often have day-to-day coping mechanisms to help manage their spasticity, but what do you do when you have spasticity and want to have sex⁠?

Here are a few tips on dealing with sex and spasticity

My main tip for anything sex and disability-related is to have good, open communication with your sexual⁠ partners. You might worry that talking about your spasticity is not the sexiest thing to talk about, but you can make it fun, and it is important to your pleasure!

You don’t need to give your partner⁠ a textbook definition of spasticity or your disability. A good place to start is with how spasticity affects you. Where do you experience the most spasticity in your body? What can your partner do to help you feel relaxed? What positions do and don’t work for you? Allow your partner to ask questions and maybe touch and feel your body before you get sexual so they can become more familiar with how your body typically works and feels outside of sex.

Another good way to manage spasticity during sex is to try and time your medication around when you are going to be having sex. For example, if you know you feel the most relaxed 2 hours after you take your medication, try to have sex around that time! There is a huge myth that all sex needs to be spontaneous, which is simply not true. Scheduled sex can be just as fun and sexy as spontaneous sex. Also, if you use an “as needed” type of medication for your spasticity, you can absolutely use it for sex! Feeling good during sex is just as important as feeling good on a regular basis.

Having your partner give you a massage is not only a great way for you to relax, but it lets your partner feel exactly where your muscles are the tightest. They can keep that in mind for the rest of your fun time together. Massages are also very intimate and can be great foreplay⁠.

Movies and TV shows often portray sex like this 5-minute activity where you race to orgasm⁠. In real life, sex can be slow and relaxed if you want it to be. You and your partner(s) get to set the pace. For example, if you need a few minutes for your body to relax, that’s totally fine. Or if you need to take a break during sex or stop completely, that is also okay. Just tell your partner how you're feeling, whether it’s good, bad, or if something needs to change. Any good partner is going to be open to whatever pace and style you might need to make it work.

Remember, too, that sex can happen many different ways. For example, if you are having a high spasticity day, you can pick the toy and speed, and tell them how to manoeuvre it. You can still be super involved in the sex, without having to be as physically involved. Also, texting exactly what you want your partner to do before they arrive is not only sexy, but it lets them know how you are feeling that day and what you are able/interested in doing.

There are a ton of fun toys and props that can help you be more comfortable during sex. Wedges and pillows can help get you in the most comfortable positions possible so that your body can relax. Toys like vibrators and dildos (and so much more) can help you reduce the physical labour of sex. Also, when you think about what positions would work for you, don’t limit yourself to just the typical sex positions. Think about what positions, in general, your body naturally feels most comfortable in. You can make almost any position work!

And don’t just focus on the negatives: your spasticity can actually benefit you! It can make holding certain positions easier. For folks with vulvas and vaginas, if your spasticity affects your PC muscles, it can make having multiple orgasms a lot easier. So use your spasticity to your advantage as much as you want.

Because of the lack of good information about spasticity and sex, you might think it is not possible to have a sex life if you experience spasticity. However, with good communication⁠ and a little creativity, you can definitely have a good and fulfilling sex life.