Feeling overwhelmed

kitsmum

I have ME/CFS and Fibromyalgia and I am overwhelmed with stress right now and need somewhere safe to upload. My mental health is being impacted big time. I am stressed about my medical conditions and how they affect my life (badly) and the whole benefits thing where I would most likely lose all support and I'm scared. My husband works for the NHS on minimum wage and they are trying to force him to do 12 hour shifts even though he is neurodivergent and has Anxiety issues again but he is also my registered carer. I am in tears all the time and ended up in the Emergency Department on Friday with slurred speech and stammering and also feeling generally unwell on top of all my other illnesses. They said the stammering is caused by extreme stress, I am run down, have some sort of infection (where they don't know) and low sodium. I am busy writing emails and signing petitions but I am so low in energy and spend a lot of the time in tears. I don't know who to turn to and what to do next and needed somewhere to vent. I worked hard all my life in Pharmaceuticals (until I became allergic to chemicals) The Prison Service, Building company, NHS and a Homeless charity (along with lots of part time jobs to save up money for University) and then caught Pneumonia and it all went downhill from there.😕😭

Holly_Scope

Hi @kitsmum I am so sorry to read how you're feeling and everything you've been through. It sounds like you have a lot on your mind, and are looking out for those around you, but need to take care of you too. 💛 Were you provided with some after care support from the hospital (both physical & mental support).

I really feel for your husband as well. They shouldn't be pressuring him to do more than he can. It could cause him to be unwell. Has he spoken with his manager about this?

kitsmum

No after care from the hospital just told to ride it out.

My husbands line managers are the ones trying to force him to change shifts. We have written a grievance and they upheld nothing so we've appealed. I have done lots of research. He went off sick with anxiety last year for a few months and had a break down at work on Friday when I rang him in distress so his line managers saw first hand what effect they are having on him. I feel like we're under such stress that we're going to crumble.

kitsmum

@Holly_Scope please see response above

Holly_Scope

Hi @kitsmum. I won't pretend to be an expert on your medical conditions, because I'm far from it but what I am familiar with, is the effect all this additional stress is having both physically and mentally on you both. Just from your initial post it sounds like you and your husband have spent your lives looking after other peoples needs which is amazing, but you matter too. 💛

You are both dealing with a lot of stress and need support. Has your husband heard of an occupational health assessment? I've had one myself, done by a third party who speaks to you as an individual and based on this, provides advice to your employer on how to better support your needs - that includes your working hours. Have a read up on this because it's really beneficial to supporting his needs.

I'm going to assume that you're being seen for your physical health (but if not, or if there are any issues, please let me know). Are you getting support for the stress? If you've not already, please reach out to your GP initially for some support. They will be able to provide you with some options.

Please don't let this break you. You sound like lovely, kind people who deserve a break.

kitsmum

@Holly_Scope

Thank you for your kind response. With regards to Occupational Health my husband had an assessment which was awful. They are a department of the hospital and although they say its impartial it isn't. She shouted at him, told him he can just get social services to care for his wife and that dyslexia and caring for me aren't reasons not to be able to do 12 hour shifts.

There is no cure or treatment for my physical / neurological needs apart from pain killers and I'm on a lot of those. I have an appointment with the pain clinic tomorrow so maybe that will help a bit.

Mentally I am waiting for counselling and my GP is very supportive. I think with everything going on all at once it's just too much.

Thanks for your support.