Step daughter issues advice needed!!

john1980

I have a 25 year old stepdaughter my partner and I have lived together 5 years and she has always had a issue with me, ignores me in a room and constantly asks partner to do things just then which I do understand and acknowledge and advocate that it is important they spend time just them, whenever we visit their home I feel ignored and when they visit us I am ignored again also, things like birthdays not even a txt or a card not that I want or need anything other than a acknowledgement of my exsiatance we never have really had a argument but I'm now at a point where after four years of constant effort on my part I've given up,

Birthday has just passed and yet again not even a txt, we always make a fuss of the kids mine and partners (all adults) no children involved

I am honestly not jealous I actively encourage them to spend quality time together and tell partner go do whatever you need to do, we are always there for both kids mine and partners and both are treated equally so really cannot understand daughters attitude towards me!

I have discussed with partner how much her behaviour upsets me, they agree it's not good and don't know what her issue is but refuse to say anything,

It's getting to point I either say something and I'd do it nicely or I honestly just leave her to it as I carnt cope with it no more I don't want a argument and I don't want it to affect my relationship I'm kinda at a loss to know how or what to do

I had alot of issues with ex partner and their family and it led to breakdown of our relationship and I ended up. Leaving as a result we are not a live in each other's pockets family all do our own thing most of the time,

Am. I wrong to wish partner would stand up to her a little. Past experience may be affecting my feelings this I'm not sure how to proceed I really don't want a war but she's abit of a drama queen and I really feel I'd end up the bad one, my mental health isn't good so not sure if I'm been unreasonable paranoid or a idiot advice would be great and thanks to anyone whom takes time to advise!