I May Have A Date. Advice Please?

oldngrumpy

I go into my bank in person to withdraw some money. And over time I have developed a rapport with this one particular girl. I mentioned to her casually, although I meant it one day she was Gergeous. And she is.

Around a few months ago I went in to draw some money and I asked her for her number. You are not having my number she replied, but there was a slight smirk on her face.
Two weeks ago I went in again to withdraw some, and she was serving again. I politely asked how I wanted my cash.
She then asked if I wanted anything else?
I would like your number! Then she whispered I will go out with you!

I couldn't believe it.

Before I go any further nothing has been arranged date wise.
But "if" she agreed to have a date with me I would prefer a tea date, or something similar for the following reasons before a romantic date. The reason being this....

I have an Acquired Brain Injury which has devastated my life. I am and seem pretty normal but, I have certain idiosyncrasies about me because of it.

If I am lucky enough to get a date from this Gorgeous Girl do I tell her about the basics of my ABI, but nothing too detailed before a proper date. I don't want her to be left in the lurch, I may do something a bit out of the ordinary and she may have second thoughts if I don't forewarn her.

I haven't had a date for over twenty years/been out with a girl. So not only am I going to be anxious I am going to be literally petrified.

Could any of you good folks advise please, or point me in the right direction. Thank you🙏

MW123

@oldngrumpy I haven’t seen you post in a long while, so it’s good to hear from you.

As a woman, I’d say the best approach is to keep things simple. Next time you’re in the bank, maybe leave a ready-prepared note with your phone number and say that if she’s still interested, you’d love to meet up for a tea or coffee during her lunch break. That way, she can text or call you to set up a time and day that works for both of you.

A lunch break meet-up could be a better idea because it’s relaxed and easy. You’re both in a familiar spot, and with just an hour, it keeps things low-key. Plus, it’s much more casual than planning a whole evening out, which can sometimes feel a bit intense.

Once you’re both more comfortable, you can find out what she enjoys doing and plan something more formal for a proper date. When the time feels right, you could mention your ABI, just a little bit, so she understands where you’re coming from. The key is to be open and let things unfold naturally.

Catherine21

I think that's the best way to meet someone organically so lovely to hear the spark between you so one she's seen you so she's intreasted two you can bring into conversation because it's a you it's a part of you life so hopefully you plan your tea date soon goodluck very brave asking for ladies number let us know how it goes

chiarieds

Lovely to hear from you @oldngrumpy - I have a hereditary disorder (Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome with added neurological problems, which I've passed on to all my children, & then, through my daughter, to my grandchildren).

When my son found someone he felt that spark with, he asked when he should mention he has Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. Rightly or wrongly I suggested it only needed mentioning when he felt totally comfortable with saying so, & if he thought they were becoming 'serious.' However, I think you will know when the time is right.

I think your thoughts about just meeting for a tea or coffee are a very good way to just begin to know each other, then take it from there.

Don't be 'petrified;' remember she could be feeling the same, so try & put her at her ease & don't worry. Hoping you both enjoy your first tea/coffee together 😊

Bluebell21

Hi @oldngrumpy I think having already met and spoken to each other in an ordinary way makes going for a coffee or a lunch a lovely way to start a friendship and see what happens.

I would not mention your health issues the first time you have a social meeting but see when you feel the time is right.

I think passing a note with you phone number on and saying would she like to go for lunch or a coffee and a chat would be good as already mentioned.

I wish you good luck and please let us know how you get on.

Take care.