Relationship advice, looking for a girlfriend

George162153

Need a girlfriend

Carpy

Try a dating site!

Charlie_Scope

Hello @George162153 and welcome to the community.

We're not a dating platform although some of our members report making some lovely friends here. If you're looking for a relationship, you may want to try @Carpy's suggestion of a dating site.

Another option could be looking for groups local to you that share your interests or hobbies, it can be a great way to meet people.

Stickman

Hi

I've been on lots of dating sites in the past and they don't work for me!

Wheeled_Weapon

I've never used dating sites even before I was disabled, I've always met women the natural way - Going out and living my life. People very quickly see past the wheelchair with me, and I don't think that would be the case with a dating site.

Saying that, I never am "Looking" for a girlfriend. I don't believe you should ever 'need' anyone that doesn't exist in your life yet, a relationship doesn't magically fix everything.

I've always tended to get to know past partners and things have progressed naturally from there. The one bad relationship I had was from where she moved things too fast (lovebombing) and I went through a lot of abuse.

I think @Charlie_Scope gave some great advice, finding local groups that share your hobbies and interests. Widening your friend group leads to more opportunities to meet new people.

Ranald

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1041211#Comment_1041211

Having gone through divorce with 2 children involved, I think relationships are alot of work and not always worth the upheaval!

I used dating sites for a while, met several nice ladies, but nothing that lasted. I've no energy to bother these days. Que Sera, Sera

Jono0830

Ok @George162153, I know dating can be hard and very frightening as a disabled person, however this is not really the right platform for dating, but that said there are dating sites specifically for disabled people, if that fails you or not for you there are match makers out there for disabled people that can also help, my advice is work on your self confidence before you do anything, of you would like I can recommend some self help pages to help you out with self confidence

Wheeled_Weapon

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1041241#Comment_1041241

I would add that just because you're disabled, doesn't mean you necessarily have to exclusively date other disabled people.

Nothing wrong with disabled people (obviously) but I don't fully understand that mentality. Sure, you may want someone who 'understands', but the right person will understand regardless.

You're right though, confidence is key, and I have plenty of that 🤣

Jono0830

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1041249#Comment_1041249

I fully understood that, disabled dating sites are for people seeking relationships with disabilities as well as disabled people that want to date disabled or non disabled people

Ranald

I once joined 'Outsiders' and they told me it was a dating site. This came as news to all lassies I tried to talk to! (Luckily I am not paranoid).

Wheeled_Weapon

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1041263#Comment_1041263

I had to Google what 'Outsiders' is. After finding a 1983 film and a Dave 'comedy' series I used a bit Google-Fu (I'm a black belt) and found it.

Definitely says 'Dating'. Maybe you need to work on your Stumpwork 🤣 Maybe use a bigger needle 😄

Ranald

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1041303#Comment_1041303

I only spoke online like here, but female members seemed genuinely shocked to hear it. I think maybe it was a dating place when people actually met, but lost It's way as things went online.

Wheeled_Weapon

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1041379#Comment_1041379

I'd also worry about devotees. If you don't know what a devotee is, allow me to inform and disturb you -

A devotee is someone who has a fetish for disabilities.

Ranald

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1041402#Comment_1041402

They can fetish away, i've been many years in the wilderness.

egister

1. Sit on a bench
2. Wait for the girl to sit next to you
3. Talk
4. ....
5. PROFIT!!!

rubin16

I gave up with having a relationship, they just don't work for me. I've come to the conlusion that I was made to be alone, and I thrive more being alone. Relationships to me have always ended badly mainly becuase of my autism. I have tried dating websites (what to me are far too expensive) and mostly either a scam full of fake profiles or bots. I was also apart of an autism dating service however was just full of men and had hardly any women.

So in conlusion by all means try dating websites, but be careful on which one you select. like I said most are very pricey and full of fake profiles. but like others have said the best way is to just naturally meet someone. (which is rare and hard) but its better than any dating site will ever be.