Relationship advice, looking for a girlfriend

Options
George162153
George162153 Online Community Member Posts: 1 Listener
edited May 31 in Relationships

Need a girlfriend

Comments

  • This content has been removed.
  • Charlie_Alumni
    Charlie_Alumni Posts: 264 Scope Online Community Coordinator

    Hello @George162153 and welcome to the community.

    We're not a dating platform although some of our members report making some lovely friends here. If you're looking for a relationship, you may want to try @Carpy's suggestion of a dating site.

    Another option could be looking for groups local to you that share your interests or hobbies, it can be a great way to meet people.

  • Stickman
    Stickman Online Community Member Posts: 208 Empowering

    Hi

    I've been on lots of dating sites in the past and they don't work for me!

  • Wheeled_Weapon
    Wheeled_Weapon Online Community Member Posts: 552 Pioneering

    I've never used dating sites even before I was disabled, I've always met women the natural way - Going out and living my life. People very quickly see past the wheelchair with me, and I don't think that would be the case with a dating site.

    Saying that, I never am "Looking" for a girlfriend. I don't believe you should ever 'need' anyone that doesn't exist in your life yet, a relationship doesn't magically fix everything.

    I've always tended to get to know past partners and things have progressed naturally from there. The one bad relationship I had was from where she moved things too fast (lovebombing) and I went through a lot of abuse.

    I think @Charlie_Scope gave some great advice, finding local groups that share your hobbies and interests. Widening your friend group leads to more opportunities to meet new people.

  • Ranald
    Ranald Online Community Member Posts: 2,118 Championing

    Having gone through divorce with 2 children involved, I think relationships are alot of work and not always worth the upheaval!

    I used dating sites for a while, met several nice ladies, but nothing that lasted. I've no energy to bother these days. Que Sera, Sera

  • Jono0830
    Jono0830 Online Community Member Posts: 13 Connected

    Ok @George162153, I know dating can be hard and very frightening as a disabled person, however this is not really the right platform for dating, but that said there are dating sites specifically for disabled people, if that fails you or not for you there are match makers out there for disabled people that can also help, my advice is work on your self confidence before you do anything, of you would like I can recommend some self help pages to help you out with self confidence

  • Wheeled_Weapon
    Wheeled_Weapon Online Community Member Posts: 552 Pioneering

    I would add that just because you're disabled, doesn't mean you necessarily have to exclusively date other disabled people.

    Nothing wrong with disabled people (obviously) but I don't fully understand that mentality. Sure, you may want someone who 'understands', but the right person will understand regardless.

    You're right though, confidence is key, and I have plenty of that 🤣

  • Jono0830
    Jono0830 Online Community Member Posts: 13 Connected

    I fully understood that, disabled dating sites are for people seeking relationships with disabilities as well as disabled people that want to date disabled or non disabled people

  • Ranald
    Ranald Online Community Member Posts: 2,118 Championing
    edited June 24

    I once joined 'Outsiders' and they told me it was a dating site. This came as news to all lassies I tried to talk to! (Luckily I am not paranoid).

  • Wheeled_Weapon
    Wheeled_Weapon Online Community Member Posts: 552 Pioneering

    I had to Google what 'Outsiders' is. After finding a 1983 film and a Dave 'comedy' series I used a bit Google-Fu (I'm a black belt) and found it.

    Definitely says 'Dating'. Maybe you need to work on your Stumpwork 🤣 Maybe use a bigger needle 😄

    1000014260.jpg
  • Ranald
    Ranald Online Community Member Posts: 2,118 Championing
    edited June 24

    I only spoke online like here, but female members seemed genuinely shocked to hear it. I think maybe it was a dating place when people actually met, but lost It's way as things went online.

  • Wheeled_Weapon
    Wheeled_Weapon Online Community Member Posts: 552 Pioneering

    I'd also worry about devotees. If you don't know what a devotee is, allow me to inform and disturb you -

    A devotee is someone who has a fetish for disabilities.

  • Ranald
    Ranald Online Community Member Posts: 2,118 Championing

    They can fetish away, i've been many years in the wilderness.

  • egister
    egister Posts: 1,116 Pioneering

    1. Sit on a bench
    2. Wait for the girl to sit next to you
    3. Talk
    4. ....
    5. PROFIT!!!
  • rubin16
    rubin16 Online Community Member, Scope Member Posts: 918 Championing

    I gave up with having a relationship, they just don't work for me. I've come to the conlusion that I was made to be alone, and I thrive more being alone. Relationships to me have always ended badly mainly becuase of my autism. I have tried dating websites (what to me are far too expensive) and mostly either a scam full of fake profiles or bots. I was also apart of an autism dating service however was just full of men and had hardly any women.

    So in conlusion by all means try dating websites, but be careful on which one you select. like I said most are very pricey and full of fake profiles. but like others have said the best way is to just naturally meet someone. (which is rare and hard) but its better than any dating site will ever be.

  • csno01
    csno01 Online Community Member Posts: 412 Empowering

    Hi rubin16,


    Sorry to hear of your experience.

    this is so true. Dating is hard especially for disabled people. I am a disabled dating platform, but I am indecisive of which one to register . I have done some research and found the following resource, which could perhaps be helpful: how are you familiar with any of the sites listed within the below article?

    https://disabilityhorizons.com/2024/03/disability-dating-sites-we-round-up-the-best/


    CSno01