PEOPLE STARING

Manjinder
Manjinder Community Member Posts: 43 Connected
in Coffee lounge

Hi Folks

Do you find that people stare at you because of your disability?

If so, how do you react? Do you try and ignore, stare back, or ask them if they are curious about you?

Thank You

Comments

  • luvpink
    luvpink Community Member Posts: 5,140 Championing

    No I haven't experienced anyone staring at me but my disability is 'invisable'.

  • jopops01
    jopops01 Community Member Posts: 8 Connected

    I’ve had people stare at me for all my 58years, more so when I was younger. Kids staring I can understand as they may be genuinely curious. It’s when adults stare that really, really drives me mad. Most of the time I’ll just ignore them, or as they pass me I’ll say something to my mum like “she’s/he’s quite a chubs, isn’t she/he” just loud enough for them to hear.
    As my physical disability has deteriorated, I’m either in my chair or pushing my rollator, so this can be a magnet for staring. So if I’m having a bad day, I just can’t hold it in sometimes and say things to them that I can’t repeat on this forum 😀😀

  • WhatThe
    WhatThe Community Member, Scope Member Posts: 6,025 Championing

    I used to get told off by my daughter for staring at people but I don't think I'm staring. I'd get a nudge or a "MUM!" when we were out walking. I'm more inclined to give someone a smile than make them feel uncomfortable.

  • WhatThe
    WhatThe Community Member, Scope Member Posts: 6,025 Championing

    The weirdest encounter I had was a woman who walked over to me, laid her hands on my shoulder, and started praying!

    Did it work? Did you get up and walk?

  • Fledgling
    Fledgling Community Member Posts: 9 Listener

    Hi,

    I remember when I was a child ( long time ago I'm over 60 now), there was such a fear of being rude to someone disabled. My mum used to anxiously whisper not to stare.

    The upshot was that as someone disabled entered the space, say a supermarket, everyone would turn away and look busy. I used to wonder how that person felt - they must've felt invisible, excluded.

    When my own children were young, they would stare. Instead of turning away I would make a point of exchanging a few words with the person - the price, the weather or just say sorry she's never seen a wheelchair before or some such. But I'd try to just engage so that my child didn't find it anything out of the ordinary that someone looked different.

    I don't know if that was right? But I think children learn their reactions from adults.

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