I know I'm lucky

Wheeled_Weapon

I am an amputee, but unfortunately for me due to a lower limb circulatory condition I can't use a prosthetic. So I've been a full time wheelchair user for ~8.5 years now. First few years were hard, even after getting my first active chair (a Kushall K-series Attract) I was still in an abusive relationship at the time, and losing the will to live isn't the greatest motivator...

Years later, free from the abuse and with a new determination I upgraded to a RGK Hilite and well, I don't call myself the wheeled weapon for nothing! 🤣 I'm a man in my mid 40s who is fitter than most able-bodied men the same age. I'd even have a flat belly if I didn't enjoy cider so much 🤣

I go on long 'walks' (gave up with alternative words - Rolls, pushes etc) five days a week, minimum 6 miles, sometimes 15 miles plus. I've even done marathon distance for 'fun' a few times. Can do ten miles in under two hours easily. I do offroad a lot, I have offroad tyres but it's amazing what can be done on Schwalbe Ones.

I meet so many lovely people on my adventures and even had two separate people from two seperate friend groups say "I keep forgetting you're in a wheelchair" - Apparently it's the way I move 🤣

I know how lucky I am. Not just because I still have the ability to do this, and my overall fitness and strength, but also because I had the sheer determination to fight my demons, pull my head out my a%#e and keep fighting.

Getting to this point took a lot of hard work, both physically and mentally, but it was worth it. I went through a very dark patch after escaping the abusive relationship, it ruined a subsequent relationship with the most wonderful woman I ever met and I'll always regret that 😔 But I will never regret that relationship because losing her helped me fight my demons and win.

I often joke that I am the best and worst thing to happen to the wheelchair community. Best because I show people that wheelchair users are human beings, worst because of my frankly appalling sense of humour. If some idiot shouts "Timmy!", I'll stop and tell them to come up with something original next time I see them (My city is small) and to try and make me laugh. I've met some nice people that way. That's my way of educating people, not through anger (and oh boy! did I have a gob on me) but through humour and interaction.

I'm sorry for the long post, but I'm not going to apologise for being slightly boastful (I'm more humble IRL) because, well, read my username.

(Added some photos from yesterday's adventure because photos are pretty 😊)

figraspberry41

Hello Wheeled Weapon,

Thank you for sharing your inspirational post and the beautiful phots, you seem to live in a pretty (and peaceful) part of the country. I'm intrigued to know if / you managed all the steps through the gate!

I'm sorry that you suffered in an abusive relationship but pleased that you have been able to escape. (Not always an easy task, I have had a similar experience). It is a pity that your subsequent relationship didn't work either. I stopped trying after my divorce.

Congratulations on not life or your disabilities affect you getting out much, it can be daunting and frustrating, I'm sure to have had the courage to put past experiences into the past and be able to move on in a more positive way.

We need more people like yourself to encourage those facing life (regardless of how they came to require a wheelchair) to encourage those (like a friend) who very well will require a wheelchair at some point but insists that a motorised chair is too degrading to be seen with. My friend does drive herself (but only when the pain enables my friend to get into the car without (or sometimes with acute pain not relieved by her usual cocktail of analgesia medication). Although, very determent to remain as independent as possible my friend does not like the thought of being seen in such a vehicle because of 'pride' and feels that wheel chairs or similar are for older people! (My friend has just turned State Pension age, (but don't tell my friend I said that!) I guess my friend also sees it as a sign of "weakness" and thinks that it will only attract 'pity' which is not what my friend wants and probably quite rightly so! However, this is a negative attitude as it will prevent my friend form getting out in the longer term. (the disabilities and other health conditions) will almost undoubtedly cause my friend to have to stop driving and that will prevent my friend from even attempting to get out and about.

So, articles like this may serve as a positive motivation for others not to give up due to their disabilities. It goes to show just how independent wheelchair users (or motorised vehicles) can be despite their disability and that in doing so should not make them 'feel ashamed or pitied' but to accept the individual as they are for what they are.

Jellihead

@Wheeled_Weapon

Thanks for sharing your amazing photos. Especially those with the trees that naturally make a frame for the view ahead. I love how nature can lift your mood. What a brilliant idea sharing photos! For me its flowers and plants as well. I bought a beautiful scented rose called the Generous Gardener a few years ago and can't help taking the flowers off the stems as they start to bloom and brining them in the house. Or insisting that my friends sniff them. Maybe this is why my children and now grandchildren call me Crazy Lady of the Village?

Wheeled_Weapon

@figraspberry41

There'd only be one way for me down those steps and it wouldn't be pretty 🤣 Just thought it was a cool photo.

I kind of understand why your friend feels that way, but they need to realise that freedom comes before pride. You only have one life (that we know of) and mobility aids are tools that allow us to live that life to the best we can. Look at it this way - would it be a sign of weakness to wear glasses if their eyesight was poor?

I have a friend in a power chair. At first he hated it, felt so self conscious and barely left the house. But he did, a little at a time, and now you can't keep him indoors.

Truthfully, the reality is that there's always going to be some people that 'pity' us. They mean well, but for me I find it hilarious when somebody completely out of shape tries to give me sympathy. I'm cheeky and my friends say I have 'The gift of the Gab' so I can usually deflect those sentiments and turn it into a positive interaction. It's definitely a learning curve and you do have to develop a thick skin at times.

Ultimately, if everyone lived their life caring what random people think, are they really living their life?

Wheeled_Weapon

@Jellihead

Thank you 😄

I'll try to get more photos of the flowers I see on my adventures. My Nana had a beautiful rose garden when I was young, still remember the smell too.

Here's some more photos from yesterday, including a cream spotted ladybird 😄

figraspberry41

@wheeled weapon,

Thank you. My friend too can be very quick with responses and has that 'gift of the gab!' Whilst very good at using it in certain circumstances, it doesn't 'bode well' when it comes to the lack of feeling of being stared at or judged or made to appear 'old' because for some reason my friend seems to think that people assume that you have to be old to require such a vehicle to be mobile with! Driving of course creates that independence that is craved for and understandable so, except quite as you point out an individual does not have to allow other people's thoughts or comments rule their life. My friend would probably view it as not being "cool" or in control or not matching her eloquence , poise etc… In my book it's just plain pride.

Amazing photos, you have an excellent eye for detail! A lovely gift or talent. Tank you for sharing them.

I've yet to find a 'gift' or talent.

egister

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1035777#Comment_1035777

If you think about it, having people who pity isn't so bad. Less likely that they'll intentionally cause harm. Velo-dog isn't very easy to buy now.

Wheeled_Weapon

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1036570#Comment_1036570

Considering I got into a fight yesterday because someone yelled at an old lady on a mobility scooter.

I can handle myself and love a good scrap. Didn't end well for the guy who got in my face. Police agree it was self defence.