Hi, my name is fus!

fus

Good morning and thank for the add recently paralysed from the Waist downwards due spinal conditions just need help and advice adjusting to this major change in my life i am struggling mentally and physically coming to terms with it thank you

Holly_Alumni

Welcome to the community @fus. I'm really pleased you've joined us. ☺️ There are a lot of lovely members here. Our Coffee Lounge is a great place to begin having a look around, perhaps getting involved if you feel up to it. If you've any questions, please just shout and we'll do our best to help.

I completely second what @Santosha12 has said and couldn't add much more. I hope you've some support in place both for your physical and mental health? It's important you're supported through this. 💛

fus

I'm not sure how to reply to individual posts on here but thank you for your words of encouragement, support and advice very much appreciated thank you

fus

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1041072#Comment_1041072

Thank you for all the information and advice I apologise in not getting back to you sooner

I haven't taken this confinement very well to be honest I feel trapped in my own body and very frustrated and angry not at anyone particularly more at myself

I was in a very dark place a 2 weeks ago all weekend I could feel this feeling of dread and worry building up no sleep everything was going wrong I had snapped at my wife and son who are doing their best to help I could not stand the fuss and attention

In the early hours of Sunday morning I had come too the decision to end it all [removed by moderator - discussion of methods] I contacted a chat room which I thought could help me not encourage me just justify my intentions I opened up with all my thoughts and wishes and even said my goodbyes to folks hoping they would understand why

I didn't know who ever I was talking to had pressed the panic button earlier in my chat I had the police banging on the door my wife and son were woken up and I was caught out of my head [removed by moderator - graphic] ambulance arrived soon after not sure what happened after

I'm now back home just home from hospital have aged mental health on my back some anti depression pills nurse calls in throughout the day and home visits from crisis

I wasn't seeking attention or sympathy i dont like where I am but unfortunately now understand how much upset and trouble my actions have caused i know I'm being watched and talked about and I feel like a naughty kid sent to my room

I must admit I haven't thought any more bad feelings or sort a dark hole too hide in but I know now if I ever sunk that low again I could and would follow through with no fear or second thoughts pain is pleasure death is a release

Thanks fus

Rosie_Scope

Hi @fus, sorry to hear how dark things have felt lately. I'm really sorry, but for the safety of the community I have had to edit out some parts of your post, I hope you can understand. I know it must have taken a lot of strength to share some of those things.

We'll be sending you an email today so please look out for that ☺️

Were you offered any support after what happened? For example, have you been put in touch with a mental health team at all?

I hope things start feeling easier for you soon.