Alone Again
Weekends are the worst, no visitors and will not see anyone now until Monday. When yo have a mental health problem this happens alot but why?
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I used to be the same staying in most days. I don't know your situation but are you able to get out for a walk at all ? I felt much better for it and even just ssying good morning to folk you see makes you feel better. Is there anywhere you can sit for a while in the sun, like a park or outside a cafe etc ,it's surprising how people like a chat too and it does help .hope you can feel better, it's not easy at moment with all this mess with benefits, take care.
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In an average week I have less than ten hours of human interaction. I can scarcely walk. I live alone. I'm without family. I've asked people for coffee or a light lunch but they don't come unless on rare occasions they've nothing better to do. It's so obvious. I'd be a friend to anyone.
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I understand what you mean, I am housebound but have my garden and my dog who keeps me company, but I have no friends and my family have their own lives, no one is bothered about me now.
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I must be weird, because i have almost zero human interaction, but rarely think about it.
The only person I saw today was the Wiltshire Farm Foods driver, and I closed the door with a 'thank you', just as he was getting warmed up with his weather routine.
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At least there is the TV to watch but life is hard at times.
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i'm virtually housebound due to Spina Bifida, I live alone and the last time I had someone in my flat that wasn't a nurse who came once to take my blood, or people from the Optician who have been here once, was September last year. The most in person interaction I've had has been with delivery drivers.
The last time I left my flat , other than to put bins out was October 2023.
I've always been a loner though, so it doesn't really bother me.
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At least we can keep each other going on here, this is a life line for me.
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i always feel alone with my mum and some people at work on wednesday and i feel stuck in middle . i do get anxious sometimes when comes public places that are busy .
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can you delete my first comment thanks meant to put Wednesday instead sorry but i still feel alone with my mum and i feel on edge and anxious in public places busy,strong winds .
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I have always felt alone in this world, possibly would say "am the odd one", since retiring my friends have all move on and I feel I have been left behind, having paranoid schizophrenia and a personality disorder does not help matters either.
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Never feel alone. Talk with me. I love chatting with lonely friends. Nice to meet you.
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Oh thank you, nice to me you too.
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Thanks for raising an interesting subject MsLincs58.
Edgar Allen Poe, Virginia Wolf and Emily Dickinson are just a few of the authors who have written famous works about solitude.
Both philosophy and psychology have long discussed the degree to which we are all necessarily alone. Because our minds are "closed books" to other people (as theirs are to us) we cannot really know the experience of being another person. Even describing what we see as colours is impossible without at least some subjectivity.
As can be seen from the range of responses above, the difference between loneliness and solitude is essentially how we feel about it. A lonely person may feel just as lonely (or more so) when surrounded by other people as when they are alone. It's a frame of mind. That's something we can usually learn to manage. It's about influencing how we think about things generally, rather than trying to force ourselves to think something particular.
Media today constantly inform us that everyone else is out having fun with each other. In fact, modern society (particularly since the most recent plague) is ever increasingly solitary. Families and friends alike really do spend evenings sitting together in silence, each doing separate things on mobile phones.
20 years ago research had demonstrated that although these days young'uns have far more diverse and numerous groups of "friends", those relationships are crucially different to relationships people had with others whom they often met and lived near to. Who's yet to say those relationships are either better or worse? They're just different.
@6 years ago my disabilities became significantly more complicated. Because the sale and provision of wheelchairs in the UK is now so disastrously disorganised I have become effectively housebound. Before then I was very active physically and socially. I always had places to be and people to see.
There are countless groups like this one online, covering every possible hobby, interest, etc there is. I've often found them interesting places to share experience and perspectives, both with like-minded and dissimilar people. The world is full of interesting people and many of them are online.
If I was counselling you I'd probably encourage a tactical approach:
A: Try exploring other places like this, or groups that reflect your interests. It's all social interaction and that's the point. Engaging with other people however we do it. Getting out where you can and would like to may help, when and if you want. Aware that there are all sorts of ways of "meeting" people.
B: Addressing unhelpful thought patterns and developing more positive and balanced perspectives on social situations. Positive thinking makes a world of difference to our perspective. When negative thoughts creep in (as they sometimes will), the solution can be as simple as thinking of something else. Perhaps writing a list of things you think positively about and maybe learning more about those things may help.
C: Developing Emotion Regulation Skills: Learning to manage and express emotions effectively can help us cope with the negative feelings associated with loneliness.
That's a set of skills which many people have written about in much greater detail than I could reasonably include here. I'll find a set of links which may help and put them below. At most they'll just be a tiny fraction of the potentially helpful information available on this subject.
Which leads me at last to:
Seeking Professional Support.
Therapy and other forms of support can help us understand and address the underlying causes of loneliness and develop healthier coping strategies.
Ultimately, the greatest help available can come from an experienced and/or qualified counsellor, psychiatrist, whatever.
If such people first learn to understand your perspective, they will be by far most able to advise you about which type of strategy will likely help you most.
These people are available. I expect your GP or other mental health workers should be able to suggest how you may access them.
If anyone gets this far, good luck. I've enjoyed this chat.
😺
Further reading:
"Therapy Treatments for Loneliness to Help Clients Cope."
https://positivepsychology.com/loneliness-psychology/#:~:text=The%20psychodynamic%20approach%20to%20loneliness,trying%20to%20treat%20the%20symptoms.
"Could your thoughts be making you more lonely?"
"Can changing how we think about being alone reduce loneliness?"
"New Research Identifies the 2 Major Causes of Loneliness...and what can be done to minimize the effects."
"The Psychology
of Loneliness.
Why it matters and what we can do"
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Thank you, unfortunately my first Psychiatrist was brilliant but NHS Mental Health decided to move him elsewhere and I put under another Psychiatrist who isn't bothered about you as a person and just chucks pills at you, he calls you every 9 to 10 weeks and is only on the phone with you for 5 minutes. Due to this I have now asked for a different Psychiatrist but this could take months, so again I am left to cope on my own yet again.
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Good Afternoon how is everyone 😊 hope you are enjoying this lovely warm weather
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A bit too warm for me today. Hope you're doing ok @MsLincs58? Are you out in the garden? ☺️
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No it's far to warm but I am inside watching the tennis, how are you coping in this heat?
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I'm the same as you @MsLincs58, far too warm so I'm inside. I did pop out at lunch time but couldn't last very long in that heat. Hopefully it cools down tonight for bed time!
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