Hi, my name is Dazza66!

Dazza66

Thanks for having me.

I've been a full time carer for five years and claiming carer's allowance/UC top up for almost three years. I had to stop working altogether a couple of years ago and recently moved in to live full-time with the person I care for.

To say that it's been a difficult transition is like saying that the Titanic glanced an ice cube! Ultimately it's me that had to change, that had to realise that I couldn't continue to be the only person in my dreams/hopes/ambitions and that to stop me going crazy I needed to alter the pace of life and how much I could be passionate about the things I used to.

Living on £600 a month is no easy challenge and in order to do that I've had to forget about retail therapy, renewing things when they wear out and reacting to consumer pressures. Fine, the change has made me analyse every detail of the old me and cut out whatever I can no longer 'afford'. That's afford in money terms, time availablity and personal freedom to choose. But, and it's a big BUT, what I really wasn't anticipating was the lack of any support whatsoever from family, local authority, adult social services, the NHS and most charities that claim to represent carer's well-being.

It's a shocking thing to be cold-shouldered by many that I previously valued. Any feelings of self worth dissolved, depression entered by the back door and my ability to look after myself physically and mentally have taken a massive knock. It's like the American depression of the 1930s where the once respected, successful entrepreneur became a street beggar overnight..."brother can you spare me a dime?"

Not all doom and gloom... once I accepted the realities (yes it's taken 5 years) but now I'm thinking differently about life and its challenges. I expected to be able to change my life and do the right thing without it costing me so dearly, and it did cost. But now I'm in the groove, so to speak, I can start a new chapter. But I won't be forgetting those who failed to help me make those changes - yes, I include the old me in that list.

Holly_Scope

Hi @Dazza66 and welcome to the community. 😊 Thank you for sharing your experience. It's awful to hear about the lack of support from services, but it sounds like you've got to a good place and hopefully have what you need in place now. I definitely share you feelings about finances. It's really tough, especially at the minute isn't it. Hopefully you're still allowing yourself little treats. It's important. I hope you enjoy the forum and being a member of our community!