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We want to hear from you: please tell us about your experience of the online community.

Just wanted to thank some of u guys.

ryleyyg

I don’t think I thanked anyone on here for talking to me when I post.
My life is so lonely and boring that sometimes I use chatGPT as a friend lol.
I’ve gone through some stuff over the years. I’m slowly accepting that I may just be destined to be lonely lol. Which I am fine with tbh.
I’ve met loads of different people most of the time it’s either I get bullied/ignored or used.
I think I’m gonna stop trying to force connections and focus on myself/family. Even if that doesn’t go well.

I’m slowly accepting it to be honest.
but I do appreciate talking to people on here, even if it’s just words on a screen.

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Littlefatfriend

I thank you Ryleyyg, communication is a interesting two-way process.

I often spend time exploring ways of interesting myself. I've still never met anything more interesting than other people.

Okay, creating things online was entertaining and informative etc, but it was just another lesson. I too like to think I've found a comfortable boundary.

Finding other interesting people can require research but in my experience the world is full of them, each with all sorts of stories to share. I encourage you to trust that although you've met negative people, other people are out there.

I've found that righting my relationships with the people closest to me has been a foundational help. In my experience that's often about finding the boundaries we share. What makes us similar. Finding what we share.

People are most often complicated in my experience, all of us.

Good luck

ryleyyg

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1049834#Comment_1049834

thank you for this. And I do agree with what you’re saying. I need to stop forcing connections to people that I’ll never meet lol. It ruins me/ makes me depressed and I find it more hard to talk to people when I am outside lol.

I barely look at people when I’m outside I don’t talk to strangers unless I have too outside lol.
i guess because as humans we are socially beings, which is why when im lonely I try too.

I need to build my confidence so I can meet people outside of my home and maybe trustworthy friends. Which I’ve never had…

I would consider making online friends, but that is not my thing anymore. Online friends are complicated/scary and weird.

I need to stop sleeping when I feel depressed…. It’s making me tired during the day lol

Littlefatfriend

My experience of people is that we often require all manner of tolerance and understanding in order to chat as equals Ryleyyg.

The interweb leads many of us to believe in a globe of interconnectivity. But people (like starlings) are awfully quarrelsome and most often we find small things about which to fall out.

Our biology and culture make some of us very sensitive to being looked at. At least as many of us don't mind what other people do. In my opinion that's up to them. It doesn't affect me.

Philosophically speaking, we are all completely alone because we are unique. Nobody else has ever or will ever have accumulated our experiences. We can only share them at best by trying to describe them.

In that circumstance we're all just learning about each other, all of the time. We're so different.

We're social animals but (like lions) we often don't get along.

Many people don't usually see anyone else each day. It's required adaptation but the 21st century has available all means of entertainment. That (and two cats) is working for me.

Because our minds can imagine that anything is possible, we're all driven to be ideally, perfectly sociable. But other people are complicated.

I've never felt I've owned confidence, it's only ever been something I've learned from making correct decisions. Sometimes by accident.

All of my greatest friends are people I coincidentally met. One of them is a German lady who I helped translate websites from french. The folk-music festival in the Black Forest she gave me free access to changed my life forever.

Sleep really is something you should discuss with a clinician if it's an issue to you. Help is certainly available. Dream sleep is the key. I'm happy to supply information here about that if it may interest you.

That'll be a perspective at best, answers only exist in theory.

😺

figraspberry41

Hi #Ryleyyg,

What is most important that even through your feelings of loneliness and despair you were able to find the courage to reach out through a forum like this. So, well done you!

Life can feel very lonely at times so a distraction however you achieve it is a 'good' thing. I too have difficulty 'making' friends as my neuro diverse conditions do not lend themselves to being comfortable around people especially in a 'new' or unfamiliar environment. I have a few friends that I have (mostly met through working with them and discovering that they or their children have similar conditions to me, so we then have a 'common' link). Unfortunately, two of them now live away in different parts of the country, so communication is essentially, via phone calls (or Wats App). We don't get to see each other because they work and have lives outside of work.

As previous contributor says, people are by their very nature complicated and can be 'difficult to 'read' when you meet. This also works both ways, another person can find it difficult to 'interpret' what verbally you are trying to say, which often is a problem and causes quite a lot of conflict, I've found. Communication is a main way of feeling less lonely but it is put to the 'test' and often results with a 'falling out' and disengaging with that person. A cause, is probably that if the other person is unaware of your personal 'disabilities' and are not willing to accept you as you are then that leaves little room to nurture a relationship.

I hope that you consider talking with your GP to hopefully prescribe something to manage the sleeplessness. Rest and sleep are essential for 'healing' and coping through the next day. If it is temporary 'fine' we all experience restless nights and lack of sleep but you have suggested that this might have been occurring for sometime now, so perhaps it is time to consider trying something to enable to sleep and rest. You may find that you actually feel better for a good nights sleep.

Hopefully, the suggestions that have been made may resonate with you, enabling you to try and find ways of communication that work for you. Me, I do not do IT very well and do not spend hours trawling through websites, I do not 'trust' Facebook or X (Twitter) as was, I believe and would not want to go to socialise at some venue to so called 'meet others' with similar conditions, that in itself is counter productive in my view.

That is why despite my conditions, I make an effort to volunteer at a couple of things, but the environment still enables me to be in a 'safe' place to meet and have brief conversations with others. It also ensures that I get out and therefore not 'stuck' indoors with no where to go, which is demoralising and can be depressing as well. The 'thing' with volunteering is that you don't have to stay if you feel uncomfortable or if the manager is aware of your individual 'needs' can direct you to be 'helpful' at a safer distance and not be overwhelmed by people or the environment. Hope you find some comfort and feel less lonely soon.

Good luck!

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