I deleted social media.

pooleemily29

@ryleyyg Good morning @ryleyyg how are you? I want you to know that I appreciate you too I really really do. I understand why would want to spend time on your own because I do too I love a bit of my company I know exactly what that feels when you talk to yourself because I do, it sounds daft to do but between you and me you get more sense out of yourself than you do actually talking yo someone.

I understand that you were two minds to move out i do understand as I once had that thought myself but I knew I couldnt because of my CP.

The trust thing thing is really hard thing to battle especially when you've been treated badly like you have. I can also understand why you feel scared about people. I had the exact same feeling as you before I came here to Scope. You are not alone in that feeling sweetheart its just a sense of dread I still have. I do exactly as you do i spend hours in my room listening yo podcasts on my phone doing my writing because its a soldiary thing.

I also watch a lot of YouTube videos and I love my games to on my phone that is but I don't play them most of the time. While it might be good for some people to have friends I could completely understand your point of not having any friends for fear of getting what's the word? Used i supppose i really do appreciate you as well. Of course i know its hard for you.

But nevertheless I am here if you need to talk about anything because I really do understand the frustration and anger you must be feeling right now. Please please don't hesitate to contact me through here.

And if you makes you feel comfortable talking like this then we'll do this way.

There's completely no pressure from me.

Sending you a big hug @pooleemily29

🙂😊

ryleyyg

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1056610#Comment_1056610

thank you!
sorry for responding so late I crashed out this afternoon right after having an energy drink which I should stop lol..

I’ve been feeling no a bit stressed this week because my step siblings are off for summer and the keep spam calling and inviting me to play with them on Fortnite. Which I hate that game but I only download it for them.

Some days they spam me non stop lol. They do get spoiled more than me but that’s okay I don’t mind they deserve it. Sometimes I get jealous but it is what it is.

I barely talk to my dad over text about anything really. I feel like he doesn’t really care as much anymore.

My mum drinks most of the time or she is just angry at the world.

I want to move out but I am so scared of living on my own to be honest.

I stupidly declined a council home because I felt it was the right thing to do.
but now I’m regretting my choice. So I contacted them again and asked if they could reconsider me for the flat.
they said someone should call me again next week.

Just stressed and need to be on my own! And have peace lol

JD_INCINERATOR

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1056538#Comment_1056538

I totally respect that you have trust issues, and so do I to be honest. However, I believe if you've had really bad experiences in the past, you might've learned how to protect yourself from them. I've had many times in the past where I've been manipulated and taken advantage of, but now I know what to look out for and I think it is simple. If someone asks for money you disregard it, or if they make you feel uncomfortable in any way-you just ditch them and move on. There is no need to feel bad about anything, if you meet strangers they either get along with you and are pleasant towards you and show you respect, or they behave peculiarly and suspiciously, and when you sense that you aren't comfortable-just leave the conversation, delete them and you'll be just fine.

I think confidence is what is needed to be your best self. Of course I don't know how old you are or what experiences you've had, but you and everybody else who isn't sure about interacting with strangers on the internet need a balance where you are confident enough to engage and get to know people, but also very aware of the varying behaviours of people. Nobody can really hurt you online, especially if you put your self-respect first.

pooleemily29

@ryleyyg Oh bless you! It must be horrible for you, I can understand why you would completely rethink the idea of moving, but if you lived on your own, you'd have everything of your own you wouldn't have to share it wirh anyone. I know you like your own company and I completely understand that because I do. In fact I'm on mu own now in my bedroom out of choice, I'm sure you deserve just as much attention as your siblings, have you tried telling them to perhaps stop spamming with texts i know i know easier said than done.

I guess its harder for you as well isn't it? I know you're scared about going out and facing people i know what thats like because Ive been too scared sometimes because im scared of getting stared for the way I walk or even how my right hand is.

I know confidence is a massive thing to get and I know thst your trust issues come from bad experiences in the past but @ryleyyg not all people you meet neither in person or online are bad people! You can get support. I'll support you if even you as you said in previous post I dont know you! True I don't but nonetheless you'll always have me here to talk to even if it is like this.

I know what being on your own is like while enjoy the peace part of you (speaking from my own exeprince) wants that special friend to talk to. I appreciate the fact that you like the peace of your company as do I?

Just know that im always here if you need to talk enjoy the weekend! @pooleemily29 🙂

ryleyyg

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1056923#Comment_1056923

thank you for this!
sorry if I respond so late!
it definitely is really nice here talking to people like you and many others!
everyone here is always so nice! And understanding!
im surprised lol because its the internet!

I feel like if i move out ill boost my independence anxiety etc as if I want something ill have to do it myself and i think that’ll boost my confidence too!

WhatThe

ryleyyg, this is no ordinary forum - this is the Scope forum!

pooleemily29

@ryleyyg I completely understand where your coming from its harder decision because whilst you may want to gain that confidence and be a little bit more independent it is extremely hard to get to get used to and it takes some work doesn't it? Especially as your scared of meeting people in your person i understand where you are coming from on that too while your going about your daily life your windering during how could be so many nasty people in this world, while on here are completely and utterly safe there are no bad people on here on only good who you can talk to like me and get to know thrm I know that's not something your wanting currently because you like me like your peace and quiet and your company, like i said in my last post often enough when you're talking to yourself you find that you grt more sense out of yourself than you would with a person sitting next to you.

The whole confidence thing is a mind blogging thing because your treading the fine between you know can I do tjis on my own without help yes you can @ryleyyg if you have determination and the strength within you like it suspect that you have them you can do this and you always always find me here ready to listen with a patient ear so that if you should anxious or scared about anything im here. I know I've said that a dozen times now probably sounding like broken record but nonetheless its there.

Confidence, isn't something that would come over night because while in the back of our minds we think it does it doesnt it takes work hard work to get there i know because I once at the phase you are at now of not having friends it was hard to gain the confidence to put myself on here at first because I never once thought that there was people like me with CP and you know something I was wrong because there were.

And yes talking to yourself maybe crazy to some folk but who gives a damn hmm they dont know what your going through.

And while your own peace and your own company as I do most of time in fact because I watch things on YouTube useful things for me as a writer.

You will get there @ryleyyg it just takes a bit of time and patience but you will get there and you'll find me here to listen to your rants as you call them.

Sending you a big hug @pooleemily29 🙂🙂