I Make Staff Cringe / Laugh

adamnew

Just a rant. Since my illnesses and subsequent disabilities, my appearance (especially my face), my voice and my ability to express my thoughts properly, visibly make colleagues laugh at me. Only one person (hired by his friend who is also our manager who gives them special treatment) thus far has made an open remark about me and did an impression of me in front of one other member of staff who joined in laughing and commenting about me, but some of the other colleagues just laugh, and its not in my head, I can tell its towards me.

I need the work as no one else will interview me and I have been unemployed for a long time, but it’s really annoying and the worst part is I don’t realise I’m doing it until I watch meetings that have been recorded for others. In my head, my voice and my reaction times in speaking sound and feel the same. The way I look in the mirror is totally different to how I look on camera.

Bizarrely this shouldn’t even be happening, the other aforementioned person doesn’t have to run meetings the way I do and yet has been assigned the equivalent task in other meetings. They don’t even have to organise anything, other meeting members are doing everything but our manager still says good work. Yet the same manager told the meeting staff members I’m with that I will be organising it and lead discussions, but I’m actually just there to assist in note taking and requests for information as that is all I can do in the meetings, I’m not even in their field nor do I have their level of knowledge.

Things are just weird. I just want to be ignored and work in the background, no promotion nor recognition, just basic work that needs to be done.

Ostia

That sounds awful….noone should be laughing at you, how rude. Could you have a quiet word with them or do you think they are unpleasant types who will make things worse for you? Perhaps a manager could support you, if you think they will deal with it sensitively.

I am wondering if you have a sort of dystonia or something like that? If so then these colleagues are ignorant and a quiet word of explanation may put a stop to the mimicry and comments. If not, then they are being bullies and should be treated as such by the managers.

Best wishes

Ostia

adamnew

@Ostia thank you.

Rosie_Scope

That's really cruel of them @adamnew, I'm really sorry you're having to work with people like that.

As Ostia says, if your manager can sensitively have a word with the people that are doing it, perhaps that's a good way forward. If where you work has a HR department, they may be able to help too.

You shouldn't have to feel as if people are making fun of you at work, it's not fair. I hope things start feeling easier for you soon 💛

adamnew

@Rosie_Scope thank you.

colejames

Hi @adamnew,

It is both wrong and discriminatory, that you are being treated in this manner. It is also worrying that another person is being favourited by your manager because they are a friend outside of work. Without knowing much about your place of work it is difficult to know what to do? In some ways it will depend on the size of the company for which you work. If is is big enough then you may have an HR department but equally some businesses don;t have HR is house and contract with an HR specialist. I would suggest that if you want to take any action the first place to start will be keeping a work diary (but not at work) and keep a record of what happened, how other people reacted and how it made you feel. If you decide to take more action, this will help you.

You don't mention if you are a member of a Trade Union or if your employer recognises any unions. It doesn't matter if they don't but if they did it would be better to join that union. If they don't, then there are several unions still out there. Unite and the GMB are multi-sector unions but there are unions which specialise in particular types of workplaces. A union should be very helpful in providing advice or supporting you if you did raise issues. There might be joint policy with your employer.

Either without a trade union your employer should have policies covering equality, inclusion, grievance, discrimination. If you do decide to talk to someone about how you are being treated then the information contained in the companies own policies are obligations on the company and should be in line with national legislation in regard of equality and employment law, Quoting company policies or the legal requirements to your employer has committed show that you have done your research and know what they should be doing. Personally I would always advise doing everything via email or letter as that leaves a physical footprint which is very hard to erase. and also it helps build a history of behaviour. If you do speech to anyone in the company about things, ensure you keep a record of their name, job title, department, have they reacted, what they promised to do, what actually happened and how it made you feel.

The other place which might help you would be to speal to the CAB as they have employment, equality and managment experts and should be able to put you on the right track. If you have a local disability helpline or you know of, then consider contacting them.. Then it would be good to seek their help.

I hope that helps

Neil

adamnew

@colejames thank you.

Santosha12

Hello @adamnew, I'm very saddened to read what you are experiencing at work. I'm so sorry too you've been having to deal with it; very upsetting. I can imagine it must feel like an incredibly lonely place to be and give rise to all sorts of emotions.

It is unacceptable, appalling and discriminatory behaviour towards you. I think a charity called 'Changing Faces' could be of good support for you.

I don't know if you've heard of them but their website is at www.changingfaces.org.uk .

They provide support, and promote respect, for everybody with a visible difference.

They have a telephone support line which is open Mon to Fri from 10am until 4pm. In case you want it, their number is 0300 012 0275. If you would struggle to ring them (if you're at work during those hours for instance), they have a Webform that you can fill in on the website and you could ask them to contact you, when it is convenient for you and when you can speak privately).

It is a completely confidential support service. I am sure they could advise you how to handle this situation.

They also have an Online Forum in case that's of interest/could be of help to you.

There's a lot of support information on the website including people who have shared their stories.

I hope that you find the support needed to not only cope, but to get the tools you need that can help change things at work and that you can then start to feel able to go and do your job each day and be free of any harassment from your colleagues, and the annoyance and unease that comes from that.

Thinking of you and wishing you all the very best.

adamnew

@Santosha12 thank you.