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I’m scared to move out.

ryleyyg

guys would it be okay for a 22 year old like me, to be scared of moving out?
the only thing I’m scared of is that I’ll start getting even more depressed if I moved out and idk potentially do something bad if I got really lonely, as I have no friends.

I don’t know if I am ready yet to be honest. And I don’t know when.
I want to move but I just don’t want to be lonely and scared on my own etc.

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Comments

Littlefatfriend

Our fear of the unknown is one of the things that has traditionally held us back as a species ryleyyg.

You're not alone.

Some people (or they may just be adverts on social media) still believe the earth is flat and the planets/stars revolve around it!

Moving from my parent's house helped me learn to engage in a wonderful life (so far!), full of experience and pleasure. I was very fortunate.

Caution is what helped me most. Understanding my boundaries. Sometimes life is hard work.

I learned to understand that by talking to all sorts of clever people, some of them professional counsellors.

Perhaps if you try to break down exactly what scares you, there are people you could talk to (elsewhere or here) about the details.

They can be helpful but they're only details.

Good luck, enjoy yourself

colejames

Hi Ryleyyg,

It is perfectly reasonable for anyone to be scared of moving out no mater what your age! It is a leap. I didn't do it until I was 32 although I had left home and then returned. No-one ever teached you about what having your own place entails or the costs involved. Often people don't consider the hidden costs such as furnishings, furniture, bills, insurance, licenses etc so being scared of moving out or of change, is perfectly OK. Only a small minority don't experience any concerns and having your own space for the first time is a big change.

Another query is how much freedom you have to live where you are living now and compare if to what you have if you get your own place. Do your financials and see if you can cover all of the finances (council tax, energy bills, water bills, insurance, rent, ground rent/service charges, food, clothing/personal hygiene items, etc. Can you have visitors where you are currenly living?

I lived away from home went I went to Southampton to study and I also moved out to live with a friend for a few months. In the end my hand was forced as my parents died and I had no choice but to have my own place. During all of that time I have generally had a lodger as it helps with bills and also means that you are not in a place alone and feel isolated. If you can afford your own place, it might be worth considering whether you can afford a pet as they can stop you feeling on your own.

As I said, it is perfectly natural to be concerned about getting your own place and just be honest to your yourself in planning and experiencing your own space. Also, if you are still living at home with family, tell them about your concerns and and see, if things went really wrong, would they take you back into their home?

It can be a real challenge and one which should be well0-considered but you also need to think of the deadlines on and how they fall for you.

Wishing you well

Neil

Ostia

Dear Ryleyyg

You are ONLY 22. Most people these days are still living at home as they simply can't afford to move out, and they may also need emotional or physical support from whoever is around.

Is anyone pressurising you to move out? Or do you feel you should, now you are technically an adult?

Moving out is difficult and expensive for anyone, especially if you have health problems and are claiming disability benefits. Rent is very high now, especially in cities, and Councils may not cover the full cost anymore. Pls be wary

Ostia

Also, it sounds as if you are feeling quite low, have you thought about asking your GP to refer you to IAPT, the free counselling service at the NHS,? I went there some years ago and it was very helpful to have support when facing difficult things. So many people go these days, there may be a waiting list but if you get support it makes decisions and changes much easier to cope with. There are other counselling services around as well which may be helpful. You deserve to feel good and confident!

Best wishes

Albus_Alumni

The unknown is scary @ryleyyg so it's totally understandable. I'm autistic and the thought of moving out was terrifying to me and that was totally ok, but it did make me feel oddly ashamed at first. It's worth breaking things down (as said above) and getting a game plan together, so if X happens, you have Y to fall back on. Write lots of lists too! But don't panic if things don't go perfectly, it's to be expected and settling in will take time.

But the only way you'll get comfortable with something is by doing it. If living alone isn't for you, there's no harm in moving back again if that's an option. 😊

Plus if you start feeling lonely, we're all here for a chat if you need us. 😁

durhamjaide2001

I'm sorry to hear that you are scared to move out is there a specific reason why you are scared to move out.