Hello, I haven't posted in a while as I needed a break.
Background:
I take days to prepare myself mentally and physically to walk to the train station from where I live, today I walked to the train station to get to a surgery in the Falmouth area (I won't be specific), it was 25 degrees down here so I was sweating profusely which I'm very aware of.
I got to the area where the surgery was situated spoke to a GP who asked if a junior GP could sit in to "learn" ect and I can't say "no" as I'm scared to offend. I have a massive neck issue which is effecting the left side of my body, a neuralgic pain and she just ignored the fact I needed co-codemol, she said "Well you're on the physio list" and that was that.
Then on to the mental health, I told her that for the first time in 13 years I made it to Truro Train Station (That's how long my hermitude/loner life has gone on) and I told her that the 200mgs of sertraline wasn't working, that I'm self harming and go into violent rages and I felt like I was fobbed off, sertraline isn't working yet they want me to keep taking it with a lower dosage, she said that I "looked better", I can barely sit down without pain but some hair gel and a beard makes me "look better", self harming with sharp objects but I "look better" my GP talked with the junior GP and she concurred.
I spent all the time and effort to go there for absolutely nothing, I usually have a good rapport with my GP. I got the train back covered in sweat on the edge of tears, got home cried then tearfully ate a cottage pie with carrot cake for afters (so there's some positives).
I have another appointment with her on September 2nd, I don't want to go there again but I'm scared to say "no", my mother will talk to the surgery on Monday and possibly request a new GP.
Sorry for the length of this, it's a one off getting things off of my chest kind of thing. I hope you're all well and having a great Friday evening.
