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Feeling overwhelmed by ADHD and Autism diagnosis

sunshine41

Hello,

I have been feeling so overwhelmed at the moment. I was recently diagnosed with ADHD and Autism and as much as it was a relief to finally know why I am how I am, it has upset me as to how life could have been if I was diagnosed when younger. I already struggle with anxiety and depression and am a carer for my dad, so am struggling with all of this. I feel I need some support to help me but feel they may say you have come this far but nobody has seen how much I have and am struggling

Sorry for the rant, I just wanted to get this off my chest.

Thank you.

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Comments

Rosie_Scope

Hi @sunshine41, No need to apologise for ranting! That's a really tough thing to go through and I'm sorry that the people around you aren't quite understanding what you're feeling. While I haven't had exactly the same experience, I can really empathise with the grief about how things could have been different if it was addressed earlier. It can really shake you up.

There are a few members who've had their Autism and ADHD diagnoses later in life so I hope they'll say hello and share some advice. I've changed the title of your post a little just so they can find it more easily.

Hope things start feeling a little easier soon 💛

sunshine41

@Rosie_Scope, thank you for your kind response and understanding. I am so burnt out, I am at a loss as to what to do.

Thank you for changing the title and your support.

Zipz

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/137765/feeling-overwhelmed-by-adhd-and-autism-diagnosis

Hello @sunshine41

You’re not ranting, you’re grieving and that could be an indefinite process.

I was diagnosed with ASD in (shall we say) latish middle-age six month ago following an emotionally traumatic period in which my suspicion of autism became obvious. I am glad to have a formal diagnosis. It explains so much of my life with the exception of childhood-onset physical disability. Yet after a few weeks, the diagnosis itself began to distress me. I think of the different educational and career choices I would have made had I been diagnosed in my teens or even as “early” as my late twenties. I think of the educational and social choices my parents would have made on my behalf had I been diagnosed in childhood or adolescence. I remain glad to have the ASD diagnosis but at the same time, I’m grieving over not having been enabled to live anything like my best life. Neuro-typicals rarely “get it” but neither do people who call themselves “neuro-spicey”, etc. ASD is no lark.

I hesitate to give advice. Somewhere on these forums there’s a thread about social prescribers. Perhaps @Rosie_Scope can find it. They might be worth a shot.

My very best wishes, @Zipz

Kiki23

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1060676#Comment_1060676

I understand and relate to everything you just wrote. I just turned 52 and am feeling absolutely EXHAUSTED!

66Mustang

I like telling people I was diagnosed age 9, not as a boast but as reassurance… because I can say I received very little in the way of adaptations or support and might as well have not had the diagnosis till I was in my 20s anyway

If you were a child today you'd be better off in the way of support, but if you were diagnosed when you were younger, you would have still existed in whatever year you were a child in and the support would have been reflective of that time period

It's obvious but sometimes worth pointing out as I know when emotions get bad it's hard to see some of the plain things

Zipz

You make a valid point @66Mustang

Between the ages of four and fourteen, I news several children with obvious and severe learning disabilities. They were pushed through mainstream school with no social or educational support but were bullied daily by their peer groups and teaching staff alike. I often think of them.

But to get back to @sunshine41 ‘s post and my response, long-delayed diagnoses be it ASD, a physical condition, or something else is not just about support from external services. Diagnoses provide parental and self-awareness of both deficits and skills, enabling a young person to direct their life, avoiding those physical/social environments in which they will certainly fail.

In recent years, I’ve come to know a number of small business owners, perhaps a decade younger than me. Their disabilities are ASD, dyslexia, and deafness. In each case their parent set up the business and worked alongside them for years. They benefited from a diagnosis whilst still of school age.

Kiki23

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1060698#Comment_1060698

Im so sorry things are tough for you Catherine. I "Innerstand" completely what you must be feeling and going through…… I really do

Sometimes I dont have the words to articulate what I feel or am thinking, so I send a song instead

Stay strong

You stay strong too @sunshine41 🙂

Sending you both lots of gentle hugs and I hope things get easier for you

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NSWTZllisl0&list=RDNSWTZllisl0&start_radio=1

Kiki23

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/137765/feeling-overwhelmed-by-adhd-and-autism-diagnosis

Hey Sunshine41

It sounds like you have come to a point where you "cant mask anymore"

To say your struggling in itself is a very brave thing to admit and shows that you really do want help, despite not easily finding it….I really do hope you find some support soon…🙏

Im in a similar space myself too!

I have masked for a lifetime and im 52 now and im physically and mentally ABSOLUTELY blinkin EXHAUSTED!!!

Its taken a mini nervous breakdown, the menopause and a few crisis situations to happen in my life to get me to the point of saying Im NOT OK and sticking to it as opposed to just saying my usual "Yeah, Im Ok"!!! I just cant do it anymore

like yourself I have been diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety too but I would imagine that the autism and ADHD were a strong contributing factor as to why we struggled/struggle so much more in those areas…ADHD in itself can "look" like anxiety (the impulsiveness) and Autism can "look" like depression (the shutdowns) BUT its a harder battle to fight when you do actually have depression and anxiety AND ADHD & AUTISM! I really do feel like im in a constant battle with myself on a daily basis!

Its like were now looking at our past through the fog with new eyes so to speak….Also, having clinical depression and anxiety, as well as having autism and ADHD on top of that makes for a very painful journey and there really doesnt seem to be alot of help out there within the NHS for us with complex "hidden" health issues. I feel the more and more I try to explain my thoughts and feelings to others inc family, friends and care service providers asking for help and support the more I seem to get misunderstood….

This Scope website/forum has been a lifeline for me these past few months as it really does help reading others stories of people with similar struggles and helps me feel less misunderstood