What a mess!

MrsMB

I always thought myself a woman of reasonable intelligence, but my life took a drastic turn when I met my husband 3 years ago. I'm in my early 50's, married twice before. I used to work with the elderly and adults with learning disabilities, and I was fairly financially comfortable. I had to give up work a few years ago when my Fibromyalgia took a major downturn and my health has deteriorated since then with that and other conditions. Just 3 years ago I was safe. I had family who cared and a few close friends to chat with. Now I have no family to speak to. They disapprove of me leaving a fairly well-off man for someone with a criminal record and penniless. My friends have abandoned me for the same reason. I can barely walk. I'm in pain every minute of every day. My mental health has gone very downhill. My physical health seems to have joined the downhill party and I'm miserable. My husband loves me. I know that. He's the most kind, caring and considerate person I've ever met, but his temper. He goes 0-100 in no time. He will scream at me almost daily then turn it around on me. He's left me on the floor crying. Well he leaves me in tears constantly. Our lives are hard because of his convictions. We've been forced out of multiple homes in the past year, lost everything 3 times through being thrown out and burgled. We went through my divorce settlement in what seems like seconds on a business for him that went wrong and other unnecessary, stupid things. Mostly spent to please him. We were homeless not long ago, and I live my life terrified that people will find out again who my husband is, and we'll be pushed out again. All this would be manageable if our daily lives were stable and happy, but I don't know what husband I'm going to get day-to-day, hour-to-hour or even minute-by-minute! I have no life, no one to talk to. No money to leave even if I was physically able, and nowhere to go anyway. Some days I can smile. The days that he's pleasant, but I walk on eggshells all of the time. I don't know what I wanted from this. I just needed somewhere safe to get it out. I often wish I wasn't on the planet anymore, but what else can I do?

Rosie_Scope

Hi @MrsMB, that's a really tough situation to be in. I'm really sorry to hear that things feel so fragile at home, that can't be easy at all. We've sent you an email today with some links and resources, so please look out for that.

Do you get any support with your mental health at the moment?

Please feel free to rant away as much as you need to. We're all here if you just need to chat about things💛