Feeling guilty about getting up late?

nightofechoes

Does anyone else get up late in the day? I am Autistic and suffer with OCD and I keep feeling guilty about waking up late and eventually get out of bed early afternoon.

I have tried really hard to get into a routine but I have recently gone through a break up and I feel some days as though I don’t want to leave my bed no matter how many alarms I set.

My brain is making me think I’m lazy and I’m a bad person for sleeping in so much- but I’m not missing any commitments.

Any warm words or insight welcome. Thank you.

OverlyAnxious

Hi,

I don't think it matters as long as you're meeting all commitments during the time you are up.

Personally I'm better in the morning, can't sleep in at all. But I also can't stay up late. I wouldn't expect anyone to think I was lazy for going to bed early…so I don't see why anyone else should be considered lazy for getting up late. Some people are early birds, others are night owls, it's an evolutionary advantage for some humans to be awake and alert while others are asleep and resting.

Kimi87

Relationship break ups are the worst. Last time I went through one, I'd barely finish eating in the evening before I was in bed. I was just beyond done with the day.

Be kind to yourself 😊

birdwatcher

I did yesterday. Didn't get up till 9.30. I'd been wide awake at 2.30 am and I think it caught up with me. Today I was up 5.45. Sleep patterns all over the place

mokki

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/139188/feeling-guilty-about-getting-up-late

When you say ‘your brain is telling you’ that means you are actually telling yourself these things

Maybe your body is telling you that right now in order to heal it needs to rest

Let me tell you a true fact

Sealions sometimes sustain horrific injuries at sea, bite wounds, boat propeller cuts, sometimes horrific attacks from predators, they can become unrecognizable as they pull themselves out of the sea to rest on the sand, they can lay there for weeks or even months sleeping with the sun on their backs while they heal

They don’t feel guilty about being hurt by someone or something else, they just focus on getting stronger before returning to the sea

Don’t ever feel guilty my friend, just follow your heart and the rest will fall into place soon enough

Rachel_Scope

@nightofechoes I have the exact same feeling; I always beat myself up for sleeping late. I'm getting a little better at it now because I think about whether it affects anyone else. If I sleep in late, will it negatively affect someone else? If not, I try to allow myself to rest. Going through a break-up is really difficult, you need to be kind to yourself.

Littlefatfriend

I've always been semi-nocturnal Nightofechoes. I can wake up early if I need to but I always find myself returning to staying and getting up late.

All kinds of shift work are available. I work in entertainments and with the internet so it either happens at night anyhow or I can do it in my own time.

It's very much my experience that people's circadian rhythms are unique to them. I've had a few partners who were very early risers and we always wound up meeting somewhere in the middle (as it were!).

Particularly at this time of year early mornings are something many of my friends with 9-5 jobs complain about.

I certainly encourage you not to worry about it (or anything else). Particularly after a break up I've often found peaceful time useful for reflection and generally calming. Life goes on and all that...

Good luck

nightofechoes

Thank you everyone for sharing your experiences and for your thoughts - some really helpful advice.

Ostia

Please don't be hard on yourself. You have been through a lot. If you don't need to get up early, don't. It's also hard in Winter when it is cold and dark in the mornings.

Best Wishes

Bluebell21

Hi @nightofechoes I think with you having gone through a recent breakup, you are probably subconsciously looking for a safe place. You find this safe place in your warm and cosy bed.

Do not feel lazy by staying in bed until the afternoon you need time to heal and you are not letting anyone down by doing this.

Be kind to yourself and gradually when you are ready try to get into a routine that suits you.

Take care.

Passerby

I'm rather feeling victim about not being able to sleep and that every night it's a struggle for me, while the majority of people take sleep for granted!

Annabelle26

I to am waking up late at present for some unknown reason. It has been going on about 2 weeks. I don't know if its just the time of the year or the gloomy weather. I always wake up about 5am to go to the toilet & usually go back to bed & next thing I know it is about 10 a.m. I do suffer depression/ SAD/Exhaustion which can make me sleep late depending on what I have been doing the day before & sometimes still feel tired. But am OK generally at present so I cannot work out what is causing it. I have decided just to go with the flow at present until I can work out why it is happening.

Ross1975

While I don't feel guilty about waking up late I find that for some reason there is just something that feels really weird and depressing when I get up late in the afternoon. It's very easy for me to fall into the habit of doing this, like, just one time of going to bed really late and bam, I'm going to bed really late every night and getting up really late and it's very difficult to get out of, even if I do go to bed much earlier I'll still get up really late, but once I do somehow get out of the habit I find it's quite easy to keep it up.

Bluebell21

Hi @nightofechoes I am so sorry you have had a bad experience on the forum. Please do not leave there are lots of lovely members that will chat and support you where we can.

I am sure the moderators will be in touch later today.

Please take care of yourself.

WhatThe

nightofechoes, hi. I'm sorry I didn't sign in last night to show you support also that you got so little sleep because of this.

I'm autistic and female so I get you. It took me a while to get used to this forum and find other autistic people but we are here for one another. I describe myself as ridiculously sensitive. Allistic people just aren't and I don't think we can change that.

I often sit with my feelings and don't post because I'm afraid of a poor reaction but it's vital that we don't give up trying. I didn't find the forum easy to use as a new member but I'm glad I stayed. I've learned so much about this condition from members like yourself and we do need each other.

Once you have 25 points (not posts), you can private message members in a safer way.

I hope you'll stay and grow stronger with our support. Here's a hug 🤗

Santosha12

@nightofechoes just want to say I really hope that you stay.

Take very good care and I really hope to see you back.

Holly_Scope

This post was temporarily moved this morning to enable a moderation review. During this review a number of comments were removed as either they directly (or were related) to content that goes against the online community guidelines.

I have now moved this post back so that it can continue as a supportive place for our community members.

bookrabbit

I don't think you should feel guilty about it but possibly you should try and fix it as daylight is really important for your mental health and there's very little of it at this time of year.

I tend to wake up with the sun no matter what time of year and feel like sleeping as soon as it gets dark. I don't feel guilty about going to bed so early!!

Zipz

Hi @nightofechoes

Please don’t feel guilty about your sleeping habits.

From childhood, I was an “early to bed, early to rise” person. When I reached my late twenties and my long-term physical condition worsened, I developed insomnia due to the pain and other symptoms. This has never improved despite plenty of well-intentioned “tips”. I get up early but need to sleep in the afternoon and go to bed early.

@mokki has made a beautiful and insightful observation . @bookrabbit wisely mentions your overall health and the importance that daylight plays. Perhaps a Vitamin D supplement might counteract this problem whilst you pursue other avenues.

Passerby

I'm rather feeling victim for not being able to sleep, while the vast majority of people on planet Earth take sleep for granted.

Make no mistake, I'm only speaking for myself.

Ross1975

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1076311#Comment_1076311

There was a time where I wasn't able to sleep either, it was after I stopped my anti depressants, I understand how bad it is, you want nothing more than to be able to sleep but you can't, you feel so tired during the day that you can't enjoy anything and just even trying to keep your head up feels like torture. Strange thing is is that you would think that after withdrawal things would be back to normal again, yet for months, and months, and months after not taking my anti depressants I was barely able to sleep. Things became so bad that while awake I'd be getting these really weird vague memories of thoughts or things I did recently, but they'd be confusing and I wouldn't be able to grasp exactly what they are, and I'd be thinking am I just imaging things or did those things happen? It would feel as though I had dreampt them while awake. It was scary and I felt like I was losing my mind.

Thankfully I went back onto a type of anti depressants which actually help with sleep and now things are fine.