ADHD Autism

Kiki23

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PuNCL7spFNs

Watching this podcast was like a "breath of fresh air" for me

I felt this was a very good breakdown of what it feels like "when no one understands you" OR worse, you find it difficult to even understand yourself….🌞

After watching this I feel less alone with my thoughts and feelings and hope it may help others too💚

Sharing is caring……..

Usernametaken

Hi Kiki23 I am sorry you feel like that right now and I hope that passes soon for you, I also like these kinds of things just being understood by someone really helps, right :) its like being seen after being unseen for so long.

Kiki23

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1083153#Comment_1083153

Hello @Usernametaken

Ive only just seen your message to me…

Thank you so much for taking the time to write your kind words to me and yes it really is a blessing if you even find 1 person who understands you…

Mind you, Its hard enough for myself at times to even understand the "new" me from the "old" me and seeing my past and past behaviour with new eyes let alone someone else understanding me ha ha

To be honest its been Youtube videos\podcasts like these that have given me knowledge and a better understanding of myself and my behaviour….

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ThWrdaps2FM

66Mustang

This is interesting to hear, and I can relate!

This causes additional distress with my co-morbid PTSD; one trigger for me is being misunderstood. To explain what I've been taught as briefly as I can, not being understood cascades through multiple steps, which culminate in feeling excluded. In prehistoric times (where PTSD was a logical and healthy survival behaviour) exclusion was deadly as direct danger because being excluded from the "tribe" meant likely death, and the brain hasn't yet evolved at a pace with societal changes.

To go back to the original topic you raised, though, I found it's true how when even one person understands you it opens a whole new world. I've always lived by the saying "I'd rather be hated for being who I am than loved for being what I'm not" but that's sometimes difficult, especially when society forces you to choose between social exclusion or abandoning your principles.

One thing I'd be interested to ask others, as I'm interested to know if others feel the same or if it's more unique to me… one of the only things I find more distressing than not being understood is when people who don't understand think they do. I often feel when that happens it's almost them closing their mind to new ideas, in many ways by not listening, because they "already know". Someone admitting "I don't fully understand, and probably never will" means an awful lot to me.

A famous Socrates quote means a lot to me: "The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing"

Rachel_Scope

I admire people who admit they don't understand something, especially when they ask questions to help them understand. People might be able to relate to you on some things but we're all so unique that I don't think we really fully understand ourselves. I certainly don't anyway!

66Mustang

From my point of view at least that's definitely true @Rachel_Scope about not understanding ourselves. Some of the most reassuring things r.e. my mental health have come from understanding why my brain does the stuff it does. It might still do the same distressing things but knowing why and how it's doing it removes some of the uncertainty which in turns removes some of the power!

As an example when I become distressed through hypervigilance I can tell myself "this is a normal survival mechanism, my brain is scanning for threats because they used to be all around me, now there aren't any but it just hasn't caught up yet". It doesn't make me feel better but it makes it feel less mysterious …

I guess I could describe it like nowadays it's like I'm being confronted by a robber in front of me in the daytime and I can see their face; rather than in the dark by someone behind me with their hood up… it's the same distress but less unknown