Generally negative?

Biblioklept

Are you a generally positive or negative person?

I always try to look on the bright side when it comes to individuals and people, outlook on stuff, I try not to dwell on every niggle and complaint, so I'd say I'm positive, BUT I also am hugely skeptical of organisations, politicians and governments etc so maybe I'm not as positive as I think 😅

Are you mostly positive, mostly negative? Cup half full, cup half empty?

michael57

I am and always have been a always look on the bright side of life monty type

Rosie_Scope

I'd say I have a bit of both! My inside voice can skew quite negative sometimes, but my outside one when I'm around other people is generally fairly positive, if that makes sense!

I do try to see the positives in things most of the time and I'd say I'm quite a hopeful person. But with a dose of realism. Maybe the sentence that sums it up is "hope for the best, expect the worst"! ☺️

MW123

I tend to take every situation as it comes. I don’t slot easily into “positive” or “negative.” I try to keep an open mind. I learnt early in life that things are rarely what they seem.

I’ll look for the good, but I won’t pretend it’s always there. I deal with what’s in front of me and don’t waste time deciding which box I’m meant to fit in.

As for the glass analogy, I’ve never quite understood it. Half full, half empty, to me, the answer’s always neither.

66Mustang

@Biblioklept

My granddad (died in 1999) was like that but also in reverse, like with how he treated people

He was the kindest, gentlest man toward any individual person. He would do anything for anyone – in 1950 he taught a Polish war survivor to drive. He recognised that it was usually men who drove at that time, and as she was on her own, she'd need this valuable life skill. She didn't speak much English but loved doing it. He didn't ask for any payment. He was also a vegetarian, back in the days before it was fashionable!

However… when it came to organisations he was cynical. He was a mechanic and transplanted Cosworth parts into a normal Ford Sierra so he could insure it as a regular Ford Sierra. When he wrote it off he worked through the night to revert it back so he could make a claim!!!!! He also had odd-sized feet so would mail-order two different pairs of shoes and then send the ones he didn't need back as a single pair, hoping the company wouldn't notice. 😂

Basically he knew companies were out to get him, but would do anything for individuals ❤️

OverlyAnxious

I consider myself a realist. Though other people often think I'm being negative. I rarely find anything positive happens in my reality - perhaps their reality is different?

I can't stand people being 'false' though. In my opinion, being optimistic about something that realistically cannot happen seems like a lie and that feels 'wrong' to me. I would much rather people just be honest and realistic with me.

WhatThe

I'm with OverlyAnxious on this one.

Pessimists are realists. I'd rather be grounded than delusional.

(A glass half full or half empty is self-explanatory)

I am a cheerful pessimist with a glass half full!

😁

Amberpearl

I'd like to say I'm. Positive person but so much has happened in my life I. Jusr don't know anymore

onmylonesome

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1083725#Comment_1083725

Scammer!

66Mustang

@OverlyAnxious @WhatThe

I think I consider myself a realist too, but don't think that pessimists are realists any more than optimists are. I think realists are probably in the middle!

Since exploring PTSD I've learnt how excessive pessimism is harmful in its own right. I used to believe that to any stranger I was a resource to be tapped into, and they didn't care whether I lived or died. However that leads to hyper-defensiveness which is unpleasant toward others, so the worry becomes self-fulfilling

We see it a lot in society where pessimism drives a wedge between people. Groups are taught to see the worst in each other and to assume that the other side sees the worst in them.

I've learnt firsthand how broadcasting to everyone that you think they hate you or are dangerous is self-fulfilling. It was a helpful adaptation at the time, because at one stage of life things WERE like that and assuming everyone wanted to hurt me kept me safe and alive, but now I'm removed from that situation it becomes a maladaptation

Biblioklept

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1083646#Comment_1083646

I love the idea of different realitities and I'm not going to be able to explain this well but I think we all very much do live in different realities. The way we all perceive things is impacted by our personal experiences since the day we were born, maybe even before, and no two people will ever have the exact same life and experiences.

What our minds are tuned to see, and what it tunes out, is shaped by our own experience.

Just look at the different opinions people have on shows like Traitors. We all watch the exact same cut and edit of the show but people will come out of it with very different opinions on the people. The show isn't different, we are all watching the same thing, but how we intepret their actions is shaped by our own reality and experiences, more than what they are actually doing

66Mustang

@Biblioklept

I remember learning about and exploring this in philosophy!!

We were taught about the idea of tabula rasa (blank slate) and the view some philosophers hold that people are born with a completely blank mind

Quite early on we learnt about a posteriori knowledge (learnt from experience) and a priori knowledge (learnt from theory and reasoning)

I guess it's more likely that we interpret direct experience similar (though still room for lots of difference) but then the way we form theoretical or hypothetical knowledge by combining our experiences multiplies this pretty much by infinite

Then combining the two – as you say using Traitors as an example where we all have the same info – but our past experiences (and indeed prejudices formed, in part, by these experiences) affect different peoples interpretation of exactly the same empirical knowledge

Zippy1983

That’s a very heavy one to think of 🤔

With me having ADHD, Autism, Depression, Anxiety and EUBPD it makes for having a brain like a roller coaster.

It also leads you to feeling like this

I have always been a Black and White Person - We Can’t Do That, We Can’t Afford This or That or Cancelling Plans, Changing Mind All The Time etc

I try to live in the present, not thinking of the future but in all honesty I live in the past due to a very difficult childhood, bullying at school and work, two very messy and challenging marriages that failed, broken down relations with family have all just mounted to make me being very introverted, insecure, lack confidence, have difficulty in trusting people, always being cruel and harsh on myself, I always take things personally, I don’t like myself, and to heart all the time.

I over eat to the extent it makes me sick, which isn’t a good thing, I don’t exercise, I tend to veg out on the sofa, I don’t have a social media footprint, I have become a closed book, I live in pain which is managed, I neglect my personal appearance, I isolate myself from the world, I find managing finances difficult due to having no impulse control etc

I guess I’m a sad, cranky, irritable, reactive, lonely, empty, numb, disillusioned and bitter person.

I live in a world that is in a sea of darkness, with a sea being battered by a category five hurricane, no sense of light in the darkness and my internal compass is broken.

Zippy1983

I live in a world where I’m always seeing things in black and white. I’m always negative, never positive, have a distrust in people and the outside world. I have zero confidence, always hate myself, I have zero body confidence, I sometimes only eat one meal a day or go to the extreme of eating until I end up being sick. I live with multiple mental and physical health conditions. I am empty, numb, don’t have any faith in the world, I always hate myself, I hate the way I look and in all honesty I always question myself and every decision I make.

I don’t have any contact with family, I have cut contact with all friends, I have had two failed marriages of which I share the blame for both failing but both ex wife’s did untold damage to me, I cancel plans, I don’t take care of myself, I always struggle to manage finances due to lack of impulse control, I worry about everything all the time, I choose to isolate myself from the world and people etc

I guess I’m a cranky, irritable, lonely, sad, bitter, disillusioned, despondent etc

My world is black, I am on a boat in a category five hurricane, internal compass is broken and no sense of light to direct me.

I try to live in the present, without looming to far ahead, however I have a lot of baggage weighing me down from my past that hangs around my neck like an executioners noose.

Zippy1983

I’ve attempted to comment on this post, alas it isn’t allowing me to

Zippy1983

I’ve always been a negative person, alas when you grow up with titles such as Statemented Child, Difficult, You Can’t Do This, You Won’t Be Able To Do That etc

Alongside growing up with an emotionally abusive and controlling father and a mother who has Bi-Polar Disorder, a Sister who was treated as the golden child and then me as the square peg of the house!
Having a Father who was always choosing to work away from home in the lorry’s more than he needed to.

I never clicked with my Dads side of the family, apart from being close to my Grandma and Grandad. I know that my Grandfather's death in 1994 truly wrecked me and had a profound effect on me.

I always clicked with my Mum’s side of the family, had a lot in common and could easily talk to them and spent a lot of time with them. My mum has said that I remind her of of My other Grandad who died in 1991, I have his sense of humour, his mannerisms and look like him too. I only knew my late Nan for a couple of years.

I went through life just truly isolating myself in my room, not making friends, being insecure, taking things to heart, jumping at my own shadow and just genuinely being a scared person unsure of the world.

I had two very messy marriages that I share the blame for failing but also having two wives that did a hell of a lot of damage to me.

I’ve gone from being someone that worked for a long time as a Gardener and later as a Support Worker to having to stop working due to my mental and physical health declining over the last five years.

I see myself as someone who see’s everything in black and white, always having to fight my corner, being irritable, getting angry easily, being a defensive person, I isolate myself from the world, have no confidence, I don’t have a lot of trust or faith in people or the world in general, I’m always self critical, have 0 body confidence and just genuinely don’t like myself.

In the last ten years I have severed all ties to my family, lost friends due to marriage break up and chosen to cut all contact with friends.

I struggle with my finances due to lack of impulse control and have now had to put a strict budget in place and will now have to be more stern and controlling with myself every single time my benefits go into the bank. If I could I would put in place for someone else to control my finances as I truly don’t trust myself with my money.

People always say they see a different person to who I see every day and it’s like two separate people being in one body.

If you could see inside my head this is what you would see!

Zippy1983

In all honesty I am a negative person, always see in black and white, I don’t like myself, I don’t have any confidence, I don’t trust people or the world in general, I’m irritable, defensive, always angry, negative towards myself, have zero body confidence and in general just don’t think that I’m a good person.

WhatThe

I think the forum has leaned towards negative over the past 12 months. And repetition. And paranoia. And repetition. And paranoia.

Personally, I tend to stay off the forum when I'm not coping; I'm too vulnerable to risk being shouted down by people who don't understand autism.

Positive contributions are a vital part of a disability forum and I would like to see much more room made for new members and new topics instead of the repeats.

WhatThe

Zippy, you have good reason to feel negative and angry; much more than a lot of us.

Despite what you say about yourself, you are very likeable and interesting! Strawberry thought so too after reading only a couple of your posts. The relationships we have on here can be positive and affirming.

You showed dogged determination once again to post your thoughts above 👏

I think you are much more Zippy than Grumpy

😊

Zippy1983

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1085136#Comment_1085136

Thank You 😊

Biblioklept

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1085135#Comment_1085135

I agree with this so much @WhatThe!

I do think that there is also little tolerance for others on here too, people seem very quick to see the worst and be judgemental instead of trying to understand where someone is coming from!

I love seeing different opinions, and really enjoy seeing new topics and ideas. ❤️