Social situations

Sparky3683

Had my run group Christmas night out last night,usually a meal and it's a small group of us that all get together. I was supposed to have another night out with a different group of friends next Saturday,but not sure now. My AuDHD and bipolar both went into overdrive the minute I got there last night. Not even half the group had arrived yet and one of my run group friends sat next to me was chatting to me and I became aware really quickly of my eyes glazing, and me starting to glance to my right out of my peripheral vision (so outside,across the road in the centre of town where we were). The more the night went on,the more it kept happening,got fidgety at times (shuffling in my seat,mainly,but noticed other fidgeting too).


I'm not sure about next weekend now as the night out is a gig in town with a few run friends and today the mood got lower and lower and started overthinking massively,still am. I've actually started apologising to my run group for last night when a few have said they didn't spot anything. I looked at the one group pic we took and the more I look, the more it looks like I'd had a lot to drink, even though I hadn't had one at the point the pic was taken. I'm not making sense,am I? The glazed look and the rest has scared me a bit.

Adrian_Scope

Hey @Sparky3683

Firstly, well done on going at all! That in itself can be a huge hurdle sometimes

I’ve had plenty of times where I’ve come away from something thinking “was I acting odd?” only to realise later that no one else gave it a second thought. Our brains can be really unkind when they start analysing everything afterwards. I try and remember that most people are focused on how they're feeling and what they're doing, and are unlikely to notice what I'm doing at all, but I know it can feel much bigger inside our own heads than it looks from the outside.

It sounds like you found it quite overwhelming and I'm wondering if the gig situation might be a little more relaxed as there is less pressure for direct socialising because you can quietly enjoy the music rather than engage in conversation when things feel a bit much?

Be gentle with yourself this week and take things at your own pace. You don’t have to decide anything right now.