Depressed

Catherine21
Catherine21 Posts: 8,719 Championing
in Everyday life

I always suffer this time of the year but this year been rough without fifi and my neighbour of 23 years passed away gosh did we argue over the years big bust ups but we always started talking like noting happened and I did alot for him I feel heartbroken 💔 dont get me wrong he was nosey and didnt respect boundaries at times but 23 years my dad's not well I feel in my soul this is his last christmas and I dread next year sorry to be so gloomy feel so depressed

Comments

  • Holly_Scope
    Holly_Scope Posts: 4,359 Scope Online Community Coordinator

    I'm so sorry @Catherine21. Hopefully you can focus on fond memories of Fifi during this time. Do I recall correctly, you've got a bench and area in memory of Fifi in the garden? If it's not too chilly, perhaps have a little sit down.

    It's never nice losing someone, especially if you've known them for so long.

    Are you close to your Dad? Can you get to visit him over the holiday period?

  • Catherine21
    Catherine21 Posts: 8,719 Championing

    Yes I have virgin mary and cherubs statues very strange relationship with my dad psychiatrist says I have a form of Stockholm syndrome with my dad i feel so empty inside always I struggle to understand what makes me happy and I feel bad as some people have noting I suppose it's lack of dopamine and my neighbour used to check in on me if he hadn't heard me hed call to see if I was ok he usef to drive me insane at times im surprised how upset I am and id hear his door squeaking all through the night when he have a cigarette he would sit out front watching everyone so sad

  • Catherine21
    Catherine21 Posts: 8,719 Championing
    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1092889#Comment_1092889

    And the passing of Albus thinking of you and albus family

  • Holly_Scope
    Holly_Scope Posts: 4,359 Scope Online Community Coordinator

    Gosh, that does sound difficult @Catherine21. It's nice he used to pop and check you're ok. And yes, that definitely gives us a bit of a boost. Do you have any other neighbours that you see?

    And thank you so much for your kind comments. We all miss Albus very much. He's been on my mind a lot this holiday season, especially when feeding the Pigeons which seem to be coming in bigger flocks each day.

  • Catherine21
    Catherine21 Posts: 8,719 Championing
    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1092895#Comment_1092895

    I know Holly its so hard this is my first time at real grief I have no real family growing up its the worse 💔 I thought of you all and albus sister thankyou

  • Jane315STARX
    Jane315STARX Online Community Member Posts: 1,016 Championing

    @Catherine21 sorry this has been a difficult time for you.You give so much to others.It would be lovely to hear that something nice is happening for you.I wish you happiness for the new year and of course good health x

  • Catherine21
    Catherine21 Posts: 8,719 Championing
    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1092907#Comment_1092907

    Thankyou jane 😘

  • Catherine21
    Catherine21 Posts: 8,719 Championing

    The thought of another year of same is soul destroying wish I enjoyed company even going out socialising but I find it impossible and just want to hide in my room I talk to a psychiatrist and I am on list for trauma therapy but I feel this is to ingrained into my soul the constant chatter in my head 24/7 im so tired

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