Work, struggling, failing again

fairybellsxox

Hi,

I’ve been working at a veterinary practice for seven months in total, and for the past six months I’ve been in my current role. During this time, I felt my managers didn’t fully understand my condition or how best to support me. Because I mask well, I think I was being viewed as though I didn’t need any adjustments. As a result, I involved Occupational Health.

Occupational Health assessed me and confirmed that, with reasonable adjustments in place, I am suitable for the role. HR also arranged for a neurodivergent advocate to support me. She is a vet who specialises in neurodivergent awareness. After observing me at work, she identified issues including power imbalances and a lack of psychological safety. She also agreed that with the right adjustments and support, I am capable of doing the job. She provided feedback to my manager and, although things have eased slightly since then, the environment still doesn’t feel fully supportive.

I’m starting to feel anxious about my future. Over the years, I’ve had several jobs. I have dyslexia and dyspraxia, and I suspect there may be additional learning differences, although I’ve been told these would likely have been identified by now. I often hear similar feedback: “You have plenty of skills, but maybe this just isn’t the right place for you.”

I can’t afford to pursue a formal diagnosis for dyslexia or dyspraxia. Even after involving Occupational Health and working with a neurodivergent job coach, it still feels as though nobody really knows how to support me properly. Despite having professional input, I don’t feel that the right understanding or adjustments are consistently in place.

My concern is that if nowhere is willing to take me on permanently, I don’t know how I’ll afford to live. I need to work — not just financially, but because I need purpose. I genuinely love my job, but I’ve been penalised for mistakes, and until recently I experienced impatience and unkindness. I struggle with working memory and take longer to learn new processes, which seems to lead people to believe I’m not good enough for the role, even though they initially see my potential.

I’m currently waiting for my PIP tribunal. I also struggle with day-to-day life as well as work. I worry that because I appear capable, I may be seen as “too capable” for support or benefits — yet in reality, I face significant challenges.

I feel stuck and very worried about what the future holds. I would really appreciate any advice or guidance.

AndrewHall

I am in same situation. After a while digging my heels in and persistent in requesting for my rights, things started getting better. Unfortunately there is lots of prejudice against disabled people. Please don't give up

fairybellsxox

@AndrewHall How did you assert you're rights? Im happy that you managed to self advocate! Im starting to feel like I should give up. If I don't get pip and im jobless, where will my income come from? How can I afford to live? It's getting so stressful. Each time I am on universal credit they are like, you won't have any issues getting a job, we just need to build you're confidence, it builds, I end up in a job, I give it my BEST shot and everything ive got, only for it to fail. :( Im stuck in a vicious cycle!

AlexMit

Hi! I'm sorry to hear about what you're going through it sounds stressful, I hope you manage to find a solution soon!

Out of interest, when is the date of your next review for your reasonable adjustments?

Holly_Scope

This sounds like a really tough position to be in @fairybellsxox. It must be incredibly frustrating for you. Are you still in contact with your HR advocate since these changes have been put in place?

SheffieldMan1976

I've come to the unfortunate conclusion that despite several years of failed applications, I'll never work due to my undeserved rep for being racist (which I'm not, I just can't work with people who talk that VERY broken English), there's also the fact the last time I worked was about 2 and half years ago as an Expert by Experience for Choice Support UK, and that was an online remote non job getting paid to listen to and have almost no input to regular MS Teams meetings about issues in the care sector,, Plus for retail experience I've only ever worked in Charity shops due to the fact I can't work evenings or weekends which are pretty much mandatory in "proper" shop work.