How to deal with negative thoughts?

angelmariya
angelmariya Online Community Member Posts: 16 Connected

At night my mind keeps replaying negative thoughts and it makes it hard to sleep peacefully. It feels exhausting and makes the next day harder at work.

Comments

  • Adrian_Scope
    Adrian_Scope Posts: 14,403 Online Community Programme Lead

    Hello @angelmariya

    Is there something or a problem that is playing in your mind during the day? I find that for me, negative evening thoughts are sometimes because I’m avoiding an issue or something that needs addressing.

    I’m sorry you’re experiencing these and they’re leaving you exhausted.

    Do you have any support locally or anyone you can talk to?

    I recently found this page which has some great resources and might be helpful in helping you reframe some of your thoughts:

    https://www.nhs.uk/every-mind-matters/mental-wellbeing-tips/self-help-cbt-techniques/reframing-unhelpful-thoughts/

  • JessieJ
    JessieJ Online Community Member Posts: 1,366 Championing

    Know what that is like, @angelmariya. For about 30 years, I've had a mind island. If I can't rest as my mind is throwing a wobbly, I try & take myself off to my island. Where I'm not disabled, it is mine & I can do what I like. No money needed, obviously! So, I can go out in a canoe, waterski, go out in a lovely motorboat, go sailing, fishing. Wander around totally free, any animals I want to see. No government, DWP, morons, warmongers, people, just pure freedom. My suggestion, start building your island.

  • Littlefatfriend
    Littlefatfriend Online Community Member Posts: 439 Trailblazing

    My first suggestion would be to think positive things angelmariya.

    That may read like an oversimplification but that's often quite literally the most effective route. I listen to audiobooks as I go to sleep. Many are also available on YouTube etc.

    My second suggestion would be to talk to an experienced counsellor about whatever you keep replaying. Your GP could probably organise that, or help direct you to someone who can.

    Learning to reframe our memories is often easier than people expect. If we adapt the way we respond to and think about things it can make a world of difference. Counselling can be dramatically powerful stuff.

    Good luck

    😺

  • SmellyBin
    SmellyBin Online Community Member Posts: 416 Empowering

    When thoughts like these are trying to take over when I'm in bed I try to have my mind preoccupied with other things and mostly end up playing mind games. Such as things starting with a p within a theme, like women's names (Patricia Highsmith, Patricia Cornwall, Patricia Kaas) or musicians and bands. That sort of thing.

  • SmellyBin
    SmellyBin Online Community Member Posts: 416 Empowering

    That sounds lovely, I feel like inviting myself :)

  • JessieJ
    JessieJ Online Community Member Posts: 1,366 Championing

    No problem, @SmellyBin, pull up a boat, there is room for others, vetted of course. πŸ˜‰ Start building, no planning permission needed. 😁

  • SmellyBin
    SmellyBin Online Community Member Posts: 416 Empowering

    Ha @JessieJ Thanks for allowing me on your lovely island! I'll be bringing my bikini and a book, some classy cocktails, and homemade pizza. I'd love to go for a swim, or just hang around chatting to you while feeling the sand between my toes :)

  • JessieJ
    JessieJ Online Community Member Posts: 1,366 Championing

    No probs, @SmellyBin, of course, it is sunny there nearly all the time, except when there's a few days snow, to break it up & I love looking out on snow, plus, gotta make use of the snowmobile! πŸ˜‰

  • Holly_Scope
    Holly_Scope Posts: 4,833 Scope Online Community Coordinator
    edited March 14

    I've found some grounding techniques helpful. The best for me is popping the TV on and just forcing my mind to focus on that helps.

    Also, the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 can be helpful (my therapist gave me this one) which is when you look around and name:

    • 5 things you can see
    • 4 things you can touch
    • 3 things you can hear
    • 2 things you can smell
    • 1 thing you can taste

    It just helps to reset my brain. I hope these can be helpful for you too 😊

  • StarryEyed
    StarryEyed Online Community Member Posts: 1,062 Trailblazing

    @JessieJ oh please can I go too? And I won't sneak my kitty Angel into an invisible suitcase. 🫒

    @angelmariya I'm wondering if you're talking about 'rumination?' It's something I struggle with, since forever, but I have learned to manage it a lot better since I started therapy some 30 years ago. I'm always finding new tools. The info from AI is really good...

    1000053338.jpg 1000053340.jpg

    Here is a really neat perspective of rumination. Maybe some of this is helpful?

    1000053336.jpg

    Sometimes I need meds to stop the ruminating and it's the only solution. It's been almost two years now that I took up a hobby of jewellery making, and typically I do it when I can't sleep, which is often due to ruminating causing insomnia. The jewellery is a fabulous antidote. 😊

    Maybe some of that is helpful?

  • Rachel10876
    Rachel10876 Scope Member Posts: 87 Contributor

    believe it or not it’s very hard to think positive things when all you keep thinking about is --negative ones x

  • Littlefatfriend
    Littlefatfriend Online Community Member Posts: 439 Trailblazing

    Most things worth having aren't easy Rachel10876.

    Miracles happen rarely, and usually take time

    But change is possible. It's most a question of perspective.

    If that feels like too much I again encourage you to talk to a counsellor. That can help a lot.

    Good luck

    πŸ˜‡

  • StarryEyed
    StarryEyed Online Community Member Posts: 1,062 Trailblazing

    If we're talking about rumination, the problem isn't so much the content of thoughts (negative or positive or neutral), but the way the thoughts are being processed. It's like a skipping record - the endless loop you're caught in. No solution. No way out. Just stuck in the loop. Thinking the same about the same thing over, and over again. Another analogy is like a hamster spinning in a wheel, no matter how fast or slow it goes, going nowhere. But I'm not sure if anyone in this thread is talking about rumination.

  • JessieJ
    JessieJ Online Community Member Posts: 1,366 Championing
    edited March 15

    I think I have too many loops, as there are several different things, none I will/could ever talk about, I'm not a talker. Then there is life that joins the party. Maybe I'm just loopy, many would agree!

    Yep, no probs, @StarryEyed ! 😊

  • StarryEyed
    StarryEyed Online Community Member Posts: 1,062 Trailblazing

    Omg it never even occurred to me that being loopy may actually refer to rumination (loops). πŸ˜‚

  • JessieJ
    JessieJ Online Community Member Posts: 1,366 Championing

    Must admit, as I typed it, I wondered if that's where it came from. πŸ˜†