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Suicide Prevention Letters (Reasons to Stay)

StarryEyed

Hi. A family member just told me about this amazing international suicide prevention organisation called "Reasons to Stay" that is based on letter writing. You can read and/or write letters to encourage people to rethink committing suicide. What you read is picked at random, and what you write is sent at random. I've read a few letters. They're so compelling and so beautiful. So heartful.

Here is a bit about the organisation:

This is the link to their website (when you click this homepage, a random letter will be loaded for you):

https://reasonstostay.co.uk/

Here are two letters that loaded for me (to give you examples):

What a beautiful idea, IMHO. 😊❤️

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StarryEyed

This is a beautiful song that comes to mind in the spirit of these letters - "He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother" by The Hollies....😊

https://youtu.be/rz6XoHrMet0?is=hlJ0rdVFm6mhwPW4

Zipz

If I were so desperate I wanted to take my own life, those letters wouldn't touch me.

In similar vein, local schoolchildren attached notes and pictures to a local motorway bring where there have been a number of atrocious death. If I felt that bad, I wouldn't stop to look at such nonsense.

I've known some very dark times though I've never wanted to end my life. I really doubt that the sentiments in these letters would save somebody from suicide.

StarryEyed

@Zipz I try to be careful not to be the representative voice of any group of people just because there just may be some common ground in thoughts or feelings or behaviours.

With that in mind, I can say in my life of struggling with suicidal thoughts for about three decades now, I have a range of suicidal thoughts and feelings. In the extreme throes, these letters may very well not reach me (I just found them and am not in an extreme at present so can't speculate ATM - fortunately). However, at the soft and middle range of the spectrum, which is where I typically reside these days, they do reach me. Profoundly. I am very grateful to those people who have made the effort to set up this site and to contribute. Maybe I'm the only one. But I suspect not, given the letters that are there without my knowledge or contribution.

Rachel_Scope

Everybody will react differently, but those letters or the pictures on the bridge might be the thing that changes someone's mind. I think it's a lovely idea and I hope it helps some people.

StarryEyed

The screaming, the killing, the fighting, the wars, the insults, the anger, the environmental disasters, the politics, the desperation, the starvation, the hopelessness, the helplessness...so much noise in this world... so intense...so indigestible

When hanging by a thread, in shutdown mode, the only thing I can hear is a soft, gentle whisper. It is the only thing I can respond to. The language of these letters is that whisper language.

StarryEyed

Catherine, I see a whole other dimension in this world that speaks in a whispering language, especially nature, like when I look at these trees and flowers I saw yesterday. Can you hear their whispers?

StarryEyed

Yeah, I believe too that all living organisms scream and whisper - and everything in between. The pics are where one of my cousins lives. I spent the weekend with her. But I too live in the city. Mind you, there is beauty in the parks, too, right? Not as much, but at least something. I always think of you there now, and others from the forum. The parks whisper too. And the pigeons and other birds on the telephone wires and rooftops. And the kitties roaming about the streets. And the doggies on walks in the streets. Soft whispers of nature in the city. So soothing amidst the chaos of the city.

StarryEyed

Well I'm off to bed. Another awesome source of whispers is music, like this cover by George Michael, "The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face" - a perfect bedtime lullaby. Good night. Sweet dreams.

https://youtu.be/Na3bPzrZS-o?is=tRUhkwgnyf8nccAY

StarryEyed

Good morning. Your nan had good taste. 😊.

And art. The whispers are in art too....

StarryEyed

Oh yes, garden whispers. They're precious. So light and gentle and real.

And house plant whispers. I have one house plant and cat grass. Here is Angel with her cat grass. I call it cat salad. 😊 That's her nature whisper. She loves it.

StarryEyed

Hi @Catherine21

You can buy cat grass on Amazon. It is really easy to grow and it grows fast, so it's really rewarding to plant it. Especially when Angel starts eating it. She just adores it. 😊

I wonder if your ex has a pothos plant. That's what I have. I bought it about two years ago. My brother's pothos is over 30 years old. It's the easiest plant to grow.

Here are some art whispers for you from Pinterest. I hope they soften your day. ❤️

StarryEyed

I've been reading at least one letter a morning, and it's become a lovely part of my morning. I'm starting to think of a letter to write in contribution. Here are the stats on the letters....

Another place to find whispers is in dance. I love watching amateur dance videos on YouTube. There are so many talented people out there! Here are just two of my favourite dancers …

https://youtu.be/XwcLbrrXw7E?is=n_3DLqLw0qQvhMtX

https://youtu.be/vz4zem6J9yo?is=SCFwO_hX03ufOvJT

https://youtu.be/MsvzrovkQ4g?is=gi45AOhEljBEH4QC

And this guy....

https://youtu.be/VRARSix8A-U?is=7tSygednfmzq_BgU

https://youtube.com/shorts/Qu5yVM0JMqY?is=haf40VMk9Qg9BGcF

StarryEyed

There are some poems that put me in a soft place because they make my thoughts slow down and ponder something else - something gentle yet focused. These are two examples - The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost and Desiderata by Max Ehrmann. When I'm feeling lost and hopeless, these tend to bring me back to centre and grounded.

StarryEyed

Hi @Catherine21 Waving around like you were directing a plane?! OMG nice visual LOL! I don't know much about ADHD, and had no idea about how you pick up on beats in music. I used to love dancing too. I'm also so focused on just surviving, rather than living. It's actually my top goal right now, to get past survival mode into living mode. I'm sick and tired of being stuck at level 1.

Have you read a letter yet?

My brother and I were talking about the site yesterday, and he calculated if I continue reading a letter a day, I have over 200 years worth of letters!!

StarryEyed

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1115290#Comment_1115290

I know, right?? I'm absolutely exhausted and plum out of time just getting through the survival necessities. I'm too busy and too spent just surviving that there's nothing left for living. So my brother and I have been having two-hour weekly sessions since last May working through all the challenges I'm facing - both practical and mental. I've made a lot of progress, but I'm still firmly in Level 1 Survival. Maybe that's all I'm capable of. Maybe that's okay. Maybe the hardest part is accepting that it's okay to live in Level 1. My brother says it's okay and that I'm crushing it. What are your thoughts?

Another whisper I've been thinking about is the light, fluffy sugar fibres of cotton candy on our fingertips that then quickly and magically dissolve on our tongue. Sugar whispers. 😊

StarryEyed

Hi @Catherine21 and thank you so much for your kind words of encouragement. 🙏🏼😘🥰 Yes, it's painful to stare the problems in the face. But I'm hoping an investment of this pain now will lead to less pain in the future and just maybe even having a life outside of Level 1.

Could you clarify please what you mean by the chains?

Definitely society's views of disabled people has an impact on our own view of ourselves - including myself. The common phrase that burns a hole through my heart is "burden on society". Even able-bodied people say it regularly in Canada, like saying they take care of themselves because they don't want to get sick and be a burden on society. Or that if they lose their autonomy through illness they want euthanasia so they won't be a burden on society. It's just common language now. I don't know if they realise how they are plainly saying to disabled people that they are a burden on society. So of course this has an impact on my self-worth since I'm disabled. They also have euthanasia in Spain, so they too use this language.

How do you cope with the derogatory comments about disabled people - other than as you say one day at a time (an excellent approach)? Or maybe you can't cope?

Here's the beautiful letter in whisper language that I read this morning from the Reasons to Stay website...

StarryEyed

I continue reading at least one of these letters a day. They are so beautiful, so quiet.

Do other people hear whispers from individual instruments? I do. Like the sorrowful whispers in the electric guitar in this classic song "Brothers in Arms" by Dire Straits.

https://youtu.be/jhdFe3evXpk?is=b7U5YOjB6EyK7mSW

Amazonianup

I think i will use the first one as a wallpaper to and to use in recovering or coping or to help realise why to get help. it could be used like a daily prayer by seeing it on a wall or computer. it might help people notice feelings happening before life gets too much and seek help but intensity of feelings can overwhelm and that leads to bad decisions and a letter might help and comfort but you cant really think, listen or concentrate when you are desperate.

I like the first letter its not too long and its meaningful and reminder why to get help. It needs to help interrupt the negative neurotic thoughts like chain smoking, drinking or using drugs that gets desperation to the next moment. The letter needs to be used in a way to tell you to get help.

Its a nice ideax

StarryEyed

Hello @Amazonianup

That's such a great idea to use a letter as computer wallpaper or hung on a wall, like a prayer, a reminder to reach out in crisis. Definitely.

My experience too is that my thinking and feeling in the extreme end are overwhelming. It's another dimension. I'll call it the Spin Cycle Dimension. It's so frikkin fast or so impossibly slow that I'm stuck in zero gravity. Either way, I can't get a grip and the only way out is out of this world. When I'm not there, I fear going there. Because I've been there many times, I know what to expect. So in a way it's a blessing to have been there so often. So when I'm not there I'm in training for being there. Reading these letters now is a new training tool. Like you say, they remind me to reach out - of the presence of kind people. I have many, many tools, because I know when my next exam comes up - and it likely will, given my history - if I'm not prepared, I just may fail the exam and not make it back to this dimension. Is that something you relate to in some way?

Amazonianup

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1118631#Comment_1118631

Sort of. I have become recently a bit more self aware as i had genuine regret and grounded in purpose like the first letter says after my recent attempt. when 'not getting a grip' and 'push you to this dimension'. I would say its more like a blackhole you even attempt and fail or your just lucky and it spits you out and you make it otherwise.

For my experience it is like me not being able to see it happening it can happen slowly with it being the problem is there to see like a water leak in a pipe and the place is flooding but i cant see it happening (thats why a letter isnt perfect solution) your juggling mental health and life to cope but it cant hurt to throw a lift raft to swim to and get help.

but it can also happen as an intense moment of sadness that i can see because straight away feel it (guilt) and i usually have to self-medicate but this is not a direct action to needing prevention but i might hurt myself. I think awareness can give more control even if it isnt a catch all solution like normal coping like playing music loud, self-harm, alcohol etc a letter might prompt you to go to dr or rearrange meds.

This is why the letters need to say 'get help' explicitly for these reasons of who you really are because mental health can play tricks on you and youre not that person in the letter anymore in that moment because you cant see and you want and need to be that person you are or want to be. Be safe i hope it works for you too x