Hi, my name is Rural_lad!
I'm not sure if I'm in the right place, if not mods remove and let me know.
I'm now 70 years old, practically housebound in a very rural location and at a loss.
Most of my adult life was spent on the road as a professional driver, and at sea, rarely at home. Forced to retire due to my body failing me (Heart, Hips, Cancer etc.) I'm now at home 24/7, suddenly finding myself stuck indoors with the just the wife, and unable to walk far was a real shock to the system. Pain also restricts me, it's constant and all the prescribed tablets I swallow every day give very little relief making me extremely irritable.
I have to find excuses to get my own space, thankfully she has mild narcolepsy spending a lot of time in the land of nod, (but then she does snore…loudly, which irritates me even more).
I'll sit watching tv from around 5pm until the small hours, then sleep till 11am when she goes to a friend for coffee for an hour or so, I can find no incentive to get up any earlier, I pass the next 4 or 5 hours with the laptop.
When my car failed the mot, I let it go as I found driving getting increasingly difficult. We have no local bus service therefore to get to the village shop for groceries, I bought an electric trike, that's as far as I go, just ½ a mile twice a week weather permitting.
With the same thing day after day, I've nothing to look forward to, I'm just "Waiting for God" as they say. Am I alone in this?
Comments
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Hi @Rural_lad welcome to the Community. I hope you enjoy your time on the forum. Any questions just ask.
I am sorry you are finding things so challenging due to your health. You might like to have a look around and join in when you are ready. You could help other members with their questions where you can or join in with the discussions and games.
Everyone needs a purpose in their life and joining in on Scope Online forum might help you with this.
You have taken the first step by joining.
Take care.
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Welcome to the community @Rural_lad. That sounds really tough, I'm sorry things are feeling so monotonous.
Does your GP have a social prescribing service? Sometimes they can help connect you with things that can improve your quality of life if that's something you'd like to try.
In the mean time, I'm sure there are some other members of the community that can relate to what you're feeling, I hope they'll come and say hi. But please feel free to join in with any of the other chats too. All of us have experience of disability in some way or another, so you're not alone here.
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I feel your pain old boy, living out in the sticks is very picturesque but the public transport's rubbish, there's almost never any signal on your mobile either so if you've no landline you're stuffed.
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I've no problem with mobile phone signals, however I've set my phone to "silence unknown calls". I was fed up with annoying sales/spam/scam callers. It goes to voicemail and their computer dialer goes to the next victim. If the caller is not on my contact list, I don't hear them, I've no landline either.
As my home is a "Dumb Location" and non gas, Smart Meters won't work. I get to keep my original prepayment meter much to Eon's annoyance…There are pluses to rural life :)0 -
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It didn't post.
Phone signal is ok although smart meters don't work here. I've silenced unknown callers on the mobile. Can't abide being told I can make a claim for something that never happened.
I ditched the landline years ago.0 -
It feels galling getting up then, but you will get used to it. No point getting up at 6 bells for no reason!
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Hi and a very warm welcome to the community.
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Hello @Rural_lad, firstly, a very warm welcome to you 😊. You are definitely not alone in your thinking!
I can resonate a lot and it is especially hard when our career - and life - has involved travelling along with the freedom and independence that brings. For some of us, that's part of who we just are, it was for me anyway. I've well and truly had my wings clipped and still adapting/accepting after losing my job three years ago through ill health.
I'm mostly housebound (at 63) and nearly lost my car too in January (MOT), kept it, more for psychological reasons, but only done six miles in two months so it may go but I wouldn't be able to use a scooter etc.
I have my dogs which are my 'reson d' etre' but I loved reading, travelling, concerts, theatre and just generally, gaddng around. I now go on 'virtual' outings but especially anything space related (always on the ISS for instance seeing the earth) and glued to the current Artemis II moon mission !
I would never have imagined my life becoming so restricted and my life so small but I am building ways to not only enjoy every day, but to purposely plan the things I enjoy. I say I've got the best seat in the house with online concerts etc! And comedy is very much a part of that.
It's just part of our journey; that doesn't make it easy though. I've found it's thinking of the things I love and being able to incorporate them in my everyday. Life can still be enriched.
There's inherent value in us just as the unique individuals we are, not for what we do [as a job etc] and, for me, it's been about reminding myself of that and my strengths. I no longer allow myself to feel any guilt, whatsoever, for instance, in not working and don't seek or need validation from others.
Pain can be very limiting, I sought GP help but decided against more effective pain relief (opioid patches) which I feel would limit my life in other ways which I'm not prepared to do, for now. That could be worth exploring.
Anyway @Rural_lad you're very welcome here and I hope you find it provides whatever you need it to. Take good care and my very warmest wishes to you.
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Hi,
You're not alone with this. There are plenty of us just trying to pass the hours until the natural end now.
Personally I get more pain from staying in bed, so I get up fairly early, but then really struggle to pass each hour until getting back into the same uncomfortable bed. Each day can feel like a whole week.
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Thank you all for your kind welcome.
It's a bit of 'history repeating itself' for me.
My Grandfather had an illness which restricted him greatly, he spent time in a special "hospital" before "finding his release" with the aid of brandy and a few barbiturates, I was seven at the time. I now understand how he felt, but then he was a much braver man than I.
With myself away most of the time, losing both Mother and my eldest brother in a very short space of time left my own father isolated. He had to stop work after a very busy career. I understand just how lonely and depressed he felt before the cancer took him.
I'm depressed but not that far gone yet.1 -
Hello from me too, do you have any hobbies that you like doing? Pain permitting.
Look in your area on line there maybe a transport link, for people with mobility problems, that do door to door service, there is my area but it's not rural. It's worth a look
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I do photography, but only tabletop and the occasional bird through the window as I can't walk far.
There's nothing local transport wise other than a demand responsive minibus that is not door to door and needs booking a minimum of 24 hrs in advance, even then it's only available outside school hours and has limited destinations.0
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