Therapy starts tomorrow - very anxious

sosad999

Morning all,

Tomorrow I start mentalisation based therapy (MBT). Its an hour a week 1-2-1 (the bit that starts tomorrow) and 1.5 hours online group sessions. I know the therapist even though he has never been mine before. I know I'm reasonably comfortable with him but its a different thing when it comes to being vulnerable and letting my guards down. I've been almost parking my more intense emotions for a few weeks because I've been on holiday and was determined to be as mindful and in the moment as possible. Now I'm back in 'normal' life I'm finding it much harder to manage them.

I'm scared I'm going to be opening the floodgates but I know I have to do it to get better.

Just feels too much today😪

Bluebell21

Hi @sosad999 you have taken the first step by agreeing to do this.

You are bound to feel nervous as it is the first one.

Give it a try and see how you get on.

Good luck tomorrow and if you feel up to it perhaps let us know how you get on.

Take care.

luvpink

@sosad999

I hope the therapy goes well for you.

Best wishes.

Rosie_Scope

Good luck @sosad999. It's good that you already know who you'll be with so aren't totally starting from scratch with someone new, but I understand what you mean about opening up and being vulnerable with someone - that can be pretty scary. Hopefully it'll get a little easier each time you speak with him and get to know each other. Try to go easy on yourself if you can.

Hope it all goes well ☺️

Mary_Scope

Hope it goes okay tomorrow @sosad999😊Be gentle with yourself afterwards.

Holly_Scope

All the best for tomorrow @sosad999.

Catherine21

I did exactly same in 2017 mine went on for year and a half and i really regret masking i didnt really get into the real issues sounds crazy but for the fear of judgements so 9 years later im starting to unpack if i could do it over again i would be open and honest without fear goodluck

luvpink

@sosad999

I hope your therapy goes well today.

All the very best.

Take care.

sosad999

Thank you for all your support.

I had a mixed experience. On the plus side, my therapist started by asking how my cat was and if I’d had a good holiday (both raised by me at my assessment 5 weeks ago) so that was a nice way to relax me. I really like him, feel I could trust him. He wanted to find out more about me as a person so asked me how I saw myself (hate that question) and some questions about my current friendships. I wasn’t expecting to find the first session so hard but its made me realise (I knew this but had pushed it away) that the conversations are going to be really difficult and yes I like him and trust him, but the thought of being vulnerable with him is another matter. There is only 1 person who sees that (best friend). I’m scared basically and its really unsettled me. So much so that I’ve had nightmares about the bullies from school which is always a measure of how bad I feel.