32 disabled dealing with financial abuse from mother and can’t leave

stayingstrong

That is the title.

I am at tethers end as I write this and my eyes are sore from crying. My mother got drunk last night, got verbally abusive and even wet herself due to drinking so much. I avoid her and she gets abusive, comes into my room and asks if I have a problem with her and causes issues despite me holding it together and being non responsive.

She’s been taking my Disability Living Allowance from day 1 and has significant mobility issues and it has become unbearable. I am financially drained from her and having to pay for vet bills and other stuff. She is due a hip replacement, can’t leave the house and has fibromyalgia and I feel so trapped. Every time I’ve gone to leave the house or clear my head, it is always a hospital appointment or something I have to help her with. To make things worse, we live in an isolated area and I’ve been sexually assaulted, dealt with stalking since moving here.

She also gets abusive and takes it out on me despite helping her with the very limited resources that I have. When I told her that I wanted to leave, she freaked out and started crying. She would also say stuff like, my friends don’t know what it is like to live with me and my mental health issues ect ect.

She is not claiming what she should be entitled to and it is a ton of financial pressure on me. I’ve been suicidal as I can’t leave and just want to be free. I’m shocked that I am still alive now. Luckily I do have UC and LCWRA in my own name.

I documented everything including recordings of the abusive comments, I’ve been to my GP telling them how all of this is affecting my mental health and even requested a letter for evidence. Instead, they booked me in and doubled my medication (which doesn’t help and makes it harder for me to function). They even dismissed me and laughed.

To make things harder I applied for a council flat after living in an area that I hate for 5 years and don’t feel safe. They put me on a “Band D - Recognised housing need”.

I’m very scared and alone. I have friends but they’re far away and are horrified about the situation. I’m scared as where I live is isolated and even if I was to get a flat, I’d have literally nobody (I tried to make friends/date where I am and there’s been multiple counts of racism and sexual assault). 2 days ago, someone who “befriended” me who ALSO happens to me a councillor in my area also blocked my right of way when I tried to avoid him, this was someone who I blocked 2 years ago.

I am not only scared of being stuck with my mother forever but being in this area for life too as much as I’d love my own flat and peace. Because nobody would want to swap with a 1 bed flat and because I’m completely isolated here, I’d be completely alone.

I’ve tried every resource and reached out for help only to be ignored or prayed upon. I was even stalked by a therapist in my area as I left a bad review as well, I won’t go into that today.

Someone please help me as I am at wits end. I’ve been at suicide point too. I just want somewhere I could live and be at peace and feel safe.

What do I do?

Bluebell21

Hi @stayingstrong welcome to the Community.

I am so very sorry that you are having such a difficult time. Is there some reason your mother will not claim her own benefits?

When you are having a difficult time you can always speak to the Samaritans they do not judge they are just there to help.

https://www.samaritans.org

They are available 24 hours a day and phone calls are free. 116 123.

You could perhaps speak to Shelter for some advise on housing.

https://shelter.org.uk

You GP should never laugh at you or dismiss you. If there are several doctors at your GP surgery could you ask to speak to a different doctor?

Please take care of yourself.

Rachel_Scope

Hi @stayingstrong. I'm so incredibly sorry for everything that you're going through. I've sent you an email so be on the lookout for it.

stayingstrong

Hello,
I tried contact shelter but can never get through. Because I’m not being physically abused they wouldn’t entertain me. But this is a living nightmare and I can’t afford to stay in hotels :/

stayingstrong

Despite having very limited mobility and barely being able to walk around her own house it is very hard to get a formal diagnosis. In the previous area we lived in they kept sanctioning people who were genuinely ill.
So she’s scared of that happening.

I told her that I am leaving before and she freaked out and said that everything will fall apart and the pets will die/get rehomed because of me. So when I get an apology, all I’ve done is pretend that it isn’t happening and that everything is fine when we are not arguing. But I can’t stomach this anymore. I may end up being homeless as I can’t stay here.

Bluebell21

Hi @stayingstrong Refuge might be able to help you.

https://refuge.org.uk

They do deal with Economic abuse.

Take care.