why do I feel anxious when someone direct me while trying to talk ?

Katiedimelow20

when explain now I'm feeling , my mum often directs me, counts at me , or tells me what do while I'm specking . is my anxiety spike and i go into fight or flight i'm trying to understand the reaction happens and what others experience the same thing

Rosie_Scope

That sounds really difficult to deal with @Katiedimelow20. If you feel like you're going into fight or flight, it could mean all sorts of things. Are you having any therapy at the moment? Is there anyone you could talk to about it to help you understand what you're going through?

Do you find you get the same reaction with other people when you talk about your feelings, or is it just with your mum?

It's really positive that you've noticed this happens and that you're trying to understand how it works. That can be the first step towards helping yourself or getting some help with it ☺️

SmellyBin

Perhaps you feel like you are not getting enough space during that conversation? Which of course can be a difficult thing to bring up.

Indeed, I do experience that with some people who have difficulties with either me being ill or me talking about those feelings. From what I understand there can be two reasons for this (but I could be wrong, this is my side of my story like you are telling yours): either people don't want me to be in pain (with kind intention?), or they cannot handle what we're discussing. That often makes me feel I am not seen or heard. Does that makes sense?
And in all honesty, I don't always know how to handle this. If I chose not to discuss this I feel left out, at least that part of me. I can also force the situation, but that might make me anxious nonetheless.

I am not sure if this helps, I am curious to see if there are others dealing with this.

Katiedimelow20

@Rosie_Scope. i has some therapy but is both one was group therapy but didn't enjoy and other was i'm not in therapy at moment . did get some consoling from Nhs but not noticing any improving with very strong emotion that i get that is anxiety and i got tools that i learn from counselling . last season was on Wednesday before going on holiday . most of them were part of nhs . since i started going out more and they think that i'm doing okay with my mental heath but i do not feel much improve at all .

dolfrog

This could be part of the listening disability, Auditory Processing Disorder, the brain having problems processing and identifying the sounds the ears hear including sound based communication - speech.

If no one understands that you have a listening disability, and the accommodations you may need to work around your lifelong auditory limitations this could be part of the problem you are explaining

Rosie_Scope

@Katiedimelow20 I'm glad to hear that you got some coping tools your counseling sessions. Sometimes it can take a while to feel like your coping strategies are working as it takes practice over time. I know I struggled a bit with mine and still have to work hard to help myself sometimes.

It could be that you're feeling anxious about your mum's reactions to what you're saying. I often find that if somebody hasn't listened in the past or has made things feel worse before, it can make it feel more difficult to talk to them the next time. Your mum might not be intending to make you feel worse, but even people who love you can say or do things that aren't always helpful sometimes.

When you're talking to your mum, what do you think would help make you feel more comfortable?

SmellyBin

Yeah @Rosie_Scope tools are indeed just tools, not a magic wand. If only, huh?! Anyway, for me it helps to see that you and @Katiedimelow20 are having similar experiences, that I am not alone in this.

Katiedimelow20

@Rosie_Scope. yet when i have tried using tools and also has been on

Sertraline 50gm tablet . do not noticed any much change with my emotion . i feel more anxiety and . when i tried to talk to my mum about my anxiety about me not be happy no matter what i do . my mum said nothing is good enough . said back i already feel not good enough . when try to go swimming but is was fully booked up. is also happen at cycling to .also i get anxiety sensations to .

Rachel_Scope

Hi @Katiedimelow20. How long have you been taking sertraline? Are you able to book another swimming or cycling session? It's important to keep up your hobbies as they can be really good for mental health.

Katiedimelow20

Rachel_Scope started taking sertraline 50gm on November 27. has been swimming and cycling on Wednesday and do not need to booked the cycling since is simple cycle or wheel 4 for all . My period also have be irregular . swimming has booked it and i'm not sure if my mum has . my mum comes with me everywhere .