Every Day life Rxperience

AAmd2025 · May 27

l wanted to share something that happened to me on 26 May 2026 at Oasis Petrol Station in Long Riston, because it left me extremely distressed and I’m still trying to process it. I’m autistic (diagnosed May 2023) and also have mental‑health conditions, and the way the situation was handled made everything much worse.

I’m posting here in the hope that others in the community might relate, offer advice, or help me understand what I should do next.

What Happened

I was on a planned journey and stopped for fuel. When I went to pay, the machine asked me to insert my physical card — which I didn’t have with me. I explained clearly that I had no cash and wasn’t refusing to pay.

Instead of following a No Means to Pay process, staff told me:

“We don’t operate that.”

They didn’t ask for my name, address, or any details. The only thing they took was my number plate, and that was after I was already visibly distressed.

I told them within the first few minutes that I’m autistic and have mental‑health conditions, but no adjustments were offered.

The Moment Things Escalated

Everything was calm until a staff member said:

“You can’t leave until you pay.”

That sentence hit me like a brick. I panicked and said:

“So that means I’m a prisoner until I pay?”

I wasn’t being aggressive — I was overwhelmed and trying to understand what they meant. But that comment from staff triggered a full autistic meltdown.

I Asked Them to Call the Police — They Refused

Because I was overwhelmed and wanted the situation handled properly, I asked staff more than once to call the police.

They refused.

Later, the owner claimed I was “violent” and that staff were “scared for 30 minutes.”
But if that were true, why refuse to call the police when I asked them to?

This contradiction has really stuck with me.

Public Reaction Made It Worse

Members of the public started staring, whispering, and one person made a comment that made me feel even more unsafe. Staff didn’t intervene or try to calm things down.

When the duty manager finally arrived, I was the one who suggested moving to a quieter area. They didn’t offer this themselves, even though I had already disclosed my disability.

I was in meltdown for around half an hour.

Eventually, the manager agreed I could return the next morning to pay.
I actually went back later that same evening and paid in full.

The Owner’s Letter Afterwards

The owner later sent a letter to my wife claiming:

I was “verbally abusive”
I was “threatening”
The incident “was not related to disability”
They “do not routinely take personal details”

But this contradicts what happened — they didn’t take any details at all, despite me being willing to give them.

They also quoted the Public Order Act, even though:

I haven’t been contacted by police
I haven’t been cautioned
I haven’t been interviewed
I haven’t been charged

It felt intimidating and dismissive of my disability.

Why I’m Sharing This

I’m sharing this because:

My behaviour was disability‑related distress, not aggression
Reasonable adjustments were not made
Staff actions escalated the situation
I was left feeling humiliated, unsafe, and misunderstood
I don’t want this to happen to anyone else

I’ve already contacted Trading Standards and the Equality Advisory and Support Service, but I’d really appreciate hearing from others who’ve had similar experiences or know what else I can do.

Has anything like this happened to you?

I’d really value hearing from anyone who:

Has had a meltdown in public
Has been misunderstood as “aggressive”
Has had staff refuse reasonable adjustments
Has had a business mishandle a disability‑related situation
Knows what steps I should take next

Thank you for reading.
It took a lot for me to write this.

— Andrew

Rosie_Scope · May 28

That sounds really upsetting @AAmd2025. It sounds like you did everything you could to help yourself and to try and provide a sensible solution to the issue even while experiencing a meltdown which must have been so difficult. I'm really sorry to hear that the staff aren't being very understanding after all that happened.

It's good that you've spoken with the Equality Advisory and Support Service already. Did they give you any useful advice or guidance?

Is the petrol station company independently owned or do they come under a chain? You could perhaps make a formal complaint to the company about how you were treated. In your complaint you could outline any particular steps you'd like them to do. For example, training staff on disability awareness or providing an apology to you. Citizen's Advice may also be able to give some guidance on this so it could be a good idea to get in touch with them to see if they can help.

Things like this can have a big impact on your mental health, so I hope you've got some supportive friends and family that you can talk to about what's happened. And I hope our members might be able to share some experiences soon too.