Sensitivity to wearing a tie.. any ideas?

Dee78
Dee78 Community Member Posts: 51 Contributor
in Autism and neurodiversity

Hi,

A friend I know who has autism has to attend court. They really hate wearing ties as they find anything tight or heavy around their neck hard to cope with. They find it hard to understand the importance of looking smart, which they really need to do so.. Resistant as well to getting an haircut, or a suit etc. Any ideas about clothing please? Or how to support then? Alternatives to a tie? Or different type of tie? It seems really unfair but the legal world is not built for people with ASD, or people making unfair first impressions. Thanks,

Comments

  • Rosie_Scope
    Rosie_Scope Posts: 8,861 Online Community Team
    edited June 12

    Hi @Dee78, that sounds really difficult for them, sorry to hear they're struggling so much with the idea of it. As you say, court is not always an area that's feels friendly or understanding.

    Even though looking formal and smart is important in that environment, it sounds like your friend still needs to feel as comfortable as they can during what must be quite a stressful and overwhelming time for them. What kind of clothes does your friend feel comfortable in normally? Are there any smarter alternatives that wouldn't be too much of a difference for them sensory-wise?

    You could see if they can cope with a clip-on tie so it's not going all the way around their neck which can be a bit less stifling. If they need to wear a formal shirt, you could try one that is breathable cotton with a larger collar size than they need, so it's not too tight around their neck.

    If a collared shirt is too much for them, perhaps a smarter style of t-shirt or polo shirt with a blazer would still look smart if they could cope with that. You can get stretchy jersey blazers that still have a bit of structure, but might feel more comfortable than suit-type material if that would be an issue for them. And similar for trousers, something with a bit of stretch or an elasticated waist might be more comfortable.

    Has your friend managed to ask about reasonable adjustments for court and whether anything might be available to help them cope? There's a bit of information here in case that is relevant: https://www.gov.uk/government/organisations/hm-courts-and-tribunals-service/about/equality-and-diversity

    I'm sure our members might have some tips too so I hope they'll be along soon ☺️

  • SheffieldMan1976
    SheffieldMan1976 Posts: 2,881 Connected

    @Rosie_Scope and as if by magic, here I am! 😂

    Get a clip on Tie, they tend to be more user friendly than a neck tie.

  • SheffieldMan1976
    SheffieldMan1976 Posts: 2,881 Connected
    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/146986/sensitivity-to-wearing-a-tie-any-ideas

    Get a clip on tie, that would solve a lot of the problem.

  • Dee78
    Dee78 Community Member Posts: 51 Contributor

    Thanks very much all!☺️

    Such helpful advice..

    They have worn suit trousers and jacket before ( but they’re in holes and they can’t afford new, but hope can find second hand)

    Having elasticated waist and cotton or breathable shirts a good idea

    Doing up shirt is the challenge as they can’t bear the shirt done up to the top.

    A clip on tie is a good idea,but does the shirt need to be done up to the top?

    Yes, FYI they will be given some adjustments in court ( eg regarding communication)which I hope will help. There’s no access to reasonable adjustments though in the long run up to it.. Not easy. They’re a lovely person, just not the best at advocating for themselves. I just worry how some make unfair conclusions on others by the way they come across or the way they look, without understanding they’re autistic.

    Thank you all ☺️

  • WelshBlue
    WelshBlue Community Member Posts: 1,419 Championing
    edited June 12

    I wouldn't worry about how the courts perceive them … they're used to seeing people turn up in trackies etc

    Smart casual is more than enough. Trousers, shirt … coat, if they haven't got a suit jacket

    Judges in Crown Courts or the Clerks of the Courts in Magistrates (the ones with the power) are used to dealing with the facts of law, not how a defendant (if that's the case) is attired.

    good luck to your friend

  • OverlyAnxious
    OverlyAnxious Community Member Posts: 6,236 Championing
    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1131588#Comment_1131588

    For some reason I assumed they were doing jury service when reading the first post. Was going to suggest asking for an exemption. 😐️

  • WelshBlue
    WelshBlue Community Member Posts: 1,419 Championing
    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1131634#Comment_1131634

    Actually you could be right. There's me with the motto … never judge … and I'm assuming they're a defendant.

    @ the OP … Defendant, Witness, Jury Service … the days of formal in that kind of setting isn't important.

    Whatever capacity your friend is to attend court, being comfortable and not stressed is the best for him. Not how he looks in an Armani or Primani outfit.

    If it is Jury Service, I think OverlyAnxious raises a good point of an exemption

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