Hi, my name is SharonM! Anyone experienced their disabled child go to uni?

SharonM

Hello I’m Sharon and I’m new to the group 👋. I’m desperately looking for anyone to ask about their experience of their child going to uni who has significant physical disabilities. I’m lost, the advice ranges from don’t bother it’s too hard, to others saying it’s easy enough and can be done. My daughter really wants the whole student experience but as a Mum I’m so scared.

Emilee

@SharonM, I'm not a parent, but I imagine a child leaving for university must be so difficult for everyone.

It's been many years now, but I loved university. For me, it was a safe way to explore and experience independence while still being in a relatively secure and supportive environment.

I'd really recommend a campus university rather than a city or collegiate university. A number of my friends have children who have recently graduated, and they've all said similar things about campus > city unis.

Looking back, university felt like a chance to test out adulthood away from my parents while still having support and structure around me.

With a campus university, everything is usually in the same area, accommodation, teaching buildings, libraries and student services. There are staff and security on site at all times, and getting around is often much easier. It also means that most of her new friends and peers will be living nearby, which can make settling in and building a support network a little easier.

I know her disabilities may make it more difficult, but don't let that be a barrier for her. How old is your daughter?

Rachel_Scope

Hi @SharonM and welcome to the community. It's completely natural to worry about your child leaving for university. I think it will vary greatly between people. I think to make it as easy a transition as possible do plenty of research, go and visit the universities on open days so you can see for yourself where she'd be living and studying. This will hopefully put your mind at ease a bit.

I've found this article about the best universities for disabled students which could be a good starting point https://unifresher.co.uk/uni-prep/choosing-a-univeristy/best-universities-for-disabled-and-neurodiverse-students/

Has she looked into any universities in particular?

SharonM

Hi Emilee and Rachel

Thank you for your message, that’s such a comfort. My daughter has visited Swansea and has set her sights on going. This is a campus university with everything on site which was important to her decision. She is 18 and has worked so hard with her ALevels and we really want her to go and gain the full experience. I worry about finding the right PA’s to help her and whether they’ll turn up.

Many thanks for your comments and advice much appreciated.

SharonM

Rachel_Scope

Is Swansea close enough for you to visit often? It sounds like a great choice if everything is on-site. Here's a link to the Swansea Uni website about helping students with disabilities https://hwb.swansea.ac.uk/student-support-services/disabilities-and-long-term-conditions/#personal-care-support=is-expanded They suggest getting in touch with the Wellbeing and Disability service asap so you can start the process to get what your daughter needs. Have you already made contact with them?

SheffieldMan1976

My Brother's son (called Harvey, turned 18 in February) is going to Worcester Uni in September (he isn't disabled)

He finally completed all his exams at school last week.

SharonM

Hi Rachel,

We live about an hour away, it’s about 40 miles. So not too far but not immediately reactive. We are planning on staying near for a couple of weeks while she settles. Ask Jules is helping us, and we were confident but yesterday after speaking with our neuromuscular advisor, she put a total dampener on it saying we won’t get PA’s. My daughter was very excited now not so much.

oldmanmarple

dont let her pick up on your worry, it'll be the making of her. if things go rubbish with pas then complain and get it sorted. unless the advisor works at a uni then they dont know and are looking for easy life

i needed a carer through uni and it worked fine, yeah some days sucked and some issues happened but thats part of life i needed to get used to and it was good for me. was the first time in my life i got to live somewhat normally and have normal experiences

dont let fear stop her and help her find her excitement for it, she deserves it and thats your job to do, no matter how scary

every problem that can come up is fixable

Adrian_Scope

Hello @SharonM and a warm welcome to the community.

I know a lot of disabled people who have had PAs through university, so I'm not sure why the neuromuscular advisor thinks your daughter won't be able to.

Chloe, (award-winner disability writer, speaker and activist and former colleague of mine here at Scope!) has a blog you and your daughter might be interested in. It started with her sharing her experiences as a disabled student, navigating PAs, accessibility and adjustments.

What is it like being a disabled student?

Preparing for university when you have a disability

Managing university when you have a disability

University

While it was written a few years ago, my own daughter is just finishing her first year at university and would say it is all still very relevant.

I hope you and your daughter find the right thing for her and we'd love to hear what you decide and how she gets on.