Sex when both are wheelchair bound

beadles93
beadles93 Community Member Posts: 50 Connected
in Relationships

Hi I've spoke about this before but it's really becoming an issue. Spoke to his care agency apparently they view as abuse! Eventhough everything i read says they should help. My p.a's are related to me or close friends. Is there anywhere I turn for help and advise

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  • Rachel_Scope
    Rachel_Scope Posts: 4,221 Online Community Team

    Hi @beadles93. Can you explain a bit more about your situation please so we can try and help?

  • Stellar
    Stellar Community Member Posts: 538 Trailblazing
    edited July 1

    I don't know your situation in depth, but have you thought about hiring a disability-friendly adult content worker to help you both facilitate sex in ways your carers/PAs cannot? They don't have to participate in the sex directly, and any decent worker will respect your boundary in this regard. Adult workers will have dealt with a wide range of clients, and if you can find one who's disability-friendly, that may make all the difference.

    Also side note, but the term "wheelchair bound" is quite outdated and has very ableist/negative connotations; the term "full-time wheelchair user" doesn't have those negative consquences. it's the same negativity/ableist stigma that explains why you husbands carers consider them helping you with this as "abuse"

  • beadles93
    beadles93 Community Member Posts: 50 Connected
    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1135718#Comment_1135718

    Hi Rachel

    both full-time wheelchair users. Both have spastic quadriplegia. Partner as rods in his bad can't move his legs at all

  • beadles93
    beadles93 Community Member Posts: 50 Connected

    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1137106#Comment_1137106

    Hi stellar thanks for suggestion. I have thought about this. No idea where to start with it,?

  • Rachel_Scope
    Rachel_Scope Posts: 4,221 Online Community Team

    Thanks for providing some more information @beadles93. I'm wondering if your Cerebral Palsy team may know more about this - @Richard_Scope @Lucy_Scope @SaraC_Scope

  • Lucy_Scope
    Lucy_Scope Posts: 225 Cerebral Palsy Network

    Hi @beadles93. 

    Love Lounge is a charity that helps disabled people talk about sex, intimacy, and boundaries. You can book a free 45-minute 1-to-1 session with one of their experts.

    Sue Newman may also be useful. She is a qualified sex and relationship therapist for disabled people.

    I hope this helps 😊

    Best wishes,

    Lucy

  • beadles93
    beadles93 Community Member Posts: 50 Connected

    Hi @Lucy_Scope

    Thank you so much for that! I did email love lounge a while a go never got response back will try again

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