Unchecked health issues + family neglect = my life sucks (ramble)

helpamidying

I am 25 this month and I have a plethora of things wrong with me and have since i was a kid, but the loss of my mom and my dad's complete denial of (basically) my entire reality has let preventable issues bloom into an interlinked mess. My situation is really dire in terms of food, health, socializing and mental health, aside from the physical problems. I handled the extreme heatwaves terribly and took a week to recover, and I'm getting scared I might die. I know it sounds ridiculous.

I don't know. My dad and his girlfriend live in contempt, denial, shaming of me, and my friendships are basically on hold until I can get my own place to live in again (they all have their lives and then I have mine, where nothing happens and my room is a pure and absolute mess.

I got a burnout of burnouts of going through hell to fail at life combined with my body starting to basically undo itself.

It's been a year. I found ways to cope, found some hypotheses as to what might be wrong with me, and my health has for sure gotten better- But the bar was in absolute, Absolute hell. I stayed isolated and alone all that time because at that point I had gone into a sort of psychosis, and I knew my family's reaction might make me do something stupid.

I lost the alone life privilege and had to live back in with my dad. I tried to work so, so hard, way beyond my limits for way too long until i couldnt anymore.

All of my days are spent in this room- I leave through the window to avoid them, I barely eat a meal a day. (they refuse to let me eat with them, take food or i get shamed and insulted). I'm so hungry and weak all the time, always dealing with pain, feeling so disconnected from my body and so dissatisfied with my situation (I'm a pluridisciplinairy artist, and I have a million hobbies and activities I can't partake in anymore).

Broke, the bank is bleeding me dry, and now with heatwaves and absolutely zero nearby friends or doctors following my conditions (apart from a GP for sertraline), I'm worried that my health might be way, way worse than I think. I got heat exhaustion (not heat stroke) during the heatwave, even with a portable fan, adequate water and only being out for a couple hours. I'm scared that if something happens to me, nobody will notice until it's too late.

Anyway.

Has anybody been in this type of lonely, floating period where you might be dying, might be ill, might be okay, but genuinely have no idea. If I get ill again during next week's illness, when should I decide to go to the hospital? Like, what are signs to ABSOLUTELY not ignore? I have signs i'm already constantly ignoring just to exist, and my judgement might be very off

In 2025 i had 2 weeks of constant extreme pain and didnt go see a doctor because of fear, psychosis, no mobility, support and still doubt that I am making this all up (thanks Dad). Looking back, maybe going to the hospital would've helped but also been the opportunity to run tests and get some answers. But i've always suffered from extreme anxiety and well, I'm just terrified.

Sorry for waffling. I'm just kind of at the end of my rope here- I don't want to give up, but I need any help I can get or I simply don't see a future for myself. I guess this big block of text explains this whole situation to get it out of the way. Thank you if you read the whole thing lol

helpamidying

Hi everyone, I suck at keeping things short but I'm basically living in a **** situation with no active health care, food neglect from family members, emotional abuse and overall just a complete denial of my health problems from my dad and his girlfriend.

I used to live alone but my health went to **** and so did my life.

It's very hard to feel like a person in these conditions. I have mental health issues too that make it very hard for me to handle humiliation, judgement, and I suffer from paranoia, which tends to mean the containers of little food I can buy pile up in my room instead of me taking them out.

Some details are rough but to give you an idea, I exit and enter the house through my bedroom window in order to avoid them.

The food insecurity is the worst part. I haven't had a meal today and won't be having one.

I'm terrified of the heatwaves coming up, my reaction to the previous one was way worse than I anticipated and I suffered heat exhaustion, even just being out for a couple hours with water, mist and a fan.

With no heatwave I have muscle and nerve pains all the time, sensory issues, horrible anxiety, depression from my life falling apart, suffer from isolation from being away from friends, brain fog, palpitations, sense of fainting, trouble controlling my body sometimes, trouble breathing if i get too tense, issues with the bathroom on some days, pain when eating, insomnia or too much sleeping and the list goes on. So yeah..... heatwaves huh...

Note: I'm just listing some of what i'm experiencing, I know medical advice is not allowed on here. Thank you for reading and shoutout to my cat Inky for being the GOAT since 2020

Holly_Scope

Hi @helpamidying and welcome to the community. Firstly, sorry for the delay in your post appearing. It was automatically captured by one of our moderation filters. I’ve also merged your two posts so they’re together (I hope that’s ok)

I’m really sorry to hear all your going through. It sounds so tough and I can completely understand why you’re feeling anxious and lonely, especially when you’re spending so much time in one room and don’t have a support network you feel you can lean on or talk to.

You’ve mentioned feeling low and unwell, having historically been in a lot of pain and your concern about the heatwave and it’s impact on your health. Would it be possible to reach out to your GP for an appointment to talk about this? They might be able to support both with how you’re feeling and also look into the worries about your health that you have. I appreciate it might be difficult to take this step but will be worthwhile.

Have you got any social support outside of the home currently. Perhaps a friend or other family members that you trust and can talk to? I’m concerned about your current housing situation, especially your mention of not eating much and feeling weak as well as financially struggling. Are your family preventing you from eating and are you currently receiving any disability support from the government such as the allocation adulte handicape (AAH) which might support with getting some alternative housing?

I’m sorry for all the questions but just want to get a better understanding. I’m also going to send you an email imminently, please keep an eye out for this.

helpamidying

Hi Holly, I hope this reply is directed at you i'm still not used to using the platform!

No worries, and merging the posts is fine :)

I never really know how to explain what I need to a GP because it's so much to mention but, I guess simply expressing worries with physical pain, food and the heatwaves might do the trick..

There is a free health checkup program that I have signed up for twice but couldn't go to because I felt too ill on those days. I'm gonna try it again and book an appointment after I post this (It's a general checkup, lasts 5 hours). I'm sure my anxiety isn't helping either but.. you're right that it could be worthwhile to force myself to go through with it

They aren't preventing me from eating per se, but every time I take food from the pantry or generally take "too much" food, his girlfriend berates me and sometimes yells, and my dad doesn't say anything about it. The few times i've eaten with them, I get the death stare from his girlfriend, and then doors slamming, loud remarks... So I buy my own groceries but it has to be unrefrigerated items or snacks exclusively, but with my financial situation this is extremely limited. My dad knows this, and I have brought up being hungry numerous times, but his answer is basically : your fault, go work, then you'll eat.

I am in counseling at the moment which helps, but maybe I should be more transparent about how much this is impacting my physical health. They know my situation now and have given me food tickets last month, I have an appointment tomorrow and will ask if it's possible to receive them again. I also have another social worker that tried to help me be rehomed in an emergency apartment, but the place did not accept cats. We will keep looking..

I do have my best friend and a couple of people online, but I feel terrible bringing all this to people. I was forced to create a gofundme a couple of weeks ago and to my surprise a bunch of people donated and allowed me to live until my next counseling payment. (in a week). I need to post the link again

Most of my government allowance payment has been taken up to reimburse money I owe from missing payments last year, or by the bank as fees and I barely have anything left. I tried to send them an email but nothing so far

The gofundme has been a lifeline, even thought it's hard to end up in this position..

I'm not receiving the AAH sadly, as I don't really have enough concrete medical followups that could consitute enough proof. I have a counseling appointment tomorrow and I will do my best to mention how much my health is impairing me, because I think i've downplayed it a whole lot.

Thank you for trying to understand my situation. It really does mean a lot, and makes me feel less "crazy" to have somebody express concern for things my dad completely ignores

helpamidying

Hi Cass

I'm sorry you had to go through that also.. 😞 It does make me hopeful that a better situation is possible. Seems like we had very similar experiences and your comment makes me feel less lonely, because sometimes this situation feels so alien in a way.

Silver lining: I live on the ground floor, so climbing out is relatively easy. Hope you never hurt yourself too bad going down the drainpipe

Thank you for your kind words. I'm happy I signed up and made these posts. I hope you have a great evening and that you're doing well these days

Stellar

So sorry you're in this situation.

You need to contact both adult social care and the council's homeless team for support asap.

Social care can help you with some of your immediate needs, such as a support worker to help advocate for you so you can get support workers to help you, while also supporting your case for housing (I assume that's the AAH). You will need a care act assessment.

As for housing, you are legally homeless due to domestic abuse and unsuitable accommodation under UK housing law because it's clear your situation is untenable and you are a vulnerable adult. The homeless team have to legally assess you too.

Holly_Scope

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1137104#Comment_1137104

Hi @helpamidying I'm so sorry, I've only just seen this but luckily have seen your email reply and responded to it this morning. Thank you so much for the updates, it sounds very promising and taking these little steps forward on each point will bring you to a much better place. I hope you're able to get booked in with the GP, and Le Refuge asap. You've got this 💪