Feeling of guilt being on benefits

tyson43
tyson43 Community Member Posts: 1 Listener
edited September 2 in Mental health and wellbeing

hello


I am writing this I have no other way to vent and I am feeling so guilty for being on benefits. I have enduring mental health issues. Bipolar, ADHD and ocd and have been out of work for over ten years due to being psychotic and struggling to know what is real and what is in my mind.

I am a qualified dental nurse and worked from the age of 18 up until 25. I went to university in Sheffield and studied human biology when I was 27 and the course was so demanding and I could not concentrate or socialise properly I quit the degree in my second year.

My mental health is very poor at the moment and I have been reliant upon benefits for the past ten years.

I really would like to add something to society and hold down a job…. I just can’t!…. As I panic too much.

I have since returned to university and chose to do a law degree. I will be going into my final year in October. I just hope that I will be able to do what others seem to do so easily…. Like hold down a job, have relationships with people and socialise.


unfortunately due to my declining mental health I have isolated myself for over theee years and barely go out of the house. I am trying to stay positive.

Just wanted to not feeel so alone in feeling this way and wondered if anyone on the site felt the same.


sorry for life sorry , but it’s important to me to explain myself so that others don’t judge me .


I come from a family who have all worked incredibly hard on their careers and have never been on benefits. In the same breath if I didn’t get the benefits I am entitled to I really don’t know how I would survive.


thankyou for reading.

Comments

  • SmellyBin
    SmellyBin Community Member Posts: 640 Empowering

    Hi Tyson,

    I am sorry for all that you're going through, good thing you indeed are on benefits… otherwise you would have even more to worry about. But of course, you get to feel what you feel, even if that means guilt over something you feel like you don't deserve. This is what makes you human, you're not a robot.

    So yeah, with 'I just hope that I will be able to do what others seem to do so easily….' don't forget we are living in a hard and cold world where it is normal to go with the flow or pretend that life is easy. Everyone's problem is validated and so is yours and you are more than a person on benefits.

    Anything you like to share about yourself that is also you: crafts, pets, reading? Hang in there 🌸

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