Sexual content addiction

JimH1984

my name is Jim I have cerebral palsy and recently got banned from a online platform for spending a lot my income on the site and other sexual content sites last month about 2 grand.how do as disabled control my online habits so it doesn’t affect my mind and relationships with other people?

[edited by moderator]

Stellar

you need therapy to deal with this, alongside support to reduce your screen time. the site did the right thing banning you.

Rosie_Scope

Hi @JimH1984, sorry to hear about your situation, addiction can be really difficult to overcome but it's good that you've recognised that it's a problem for you. Sometimes that can be the hardest step.

Could you perhaps look into sourcing some counselling? Addiction can often come from underlying needs that aren't being addressed and a professional can help you think about these things and put in some healthy coping strategies. You could try speaking to your GP to see if they can refer you onwards to any services that could help.

In the meantime, if you know who provides your internet service, sometimes there are controls you can put in to stop you accessing certain sites while connected to the WIFI. They often come under Parental Control settings or Content Control settings.

However, if you're accessing this content on your mobile device, that can be a little trickier. You could try seeing if there are any content controls settings on your devices too, or try searching for apps that would limit your access to the content.

Have you got any supportive friends and family you could speak to about this? I know it can feel embarrassing to talk to others about this kind of thing, but it can help if you've got someone on your side to help you.

Hope things start feeling easier for you soon.

Epistle_Rich

What you're talking about is such a prevalent issue for men nowadays, and it doesnt get talked about enough - so well done to you Jim for being bold enough to discuss it openly. Healthy dialogue is certainly a vital step to be taken.

What's most concerning is how, just like gambling and "fremium" gaming, those sites prey on people who are already vulnerable; whether because they're socially isolated / intimately understimulated, and/or have addictive and compulsive tendencies often relating to a neurological condition.

A commentor above is right in saying that the site did the responsible thing in banning you - just as with age verification measures implemented last year, the government and other regulating bodies are taking positive steps. But fundimentally, its a deep-rooted cultural issue.

In a society that increasing pushes and privileges instant gratification, and actively cheapens things like sex and intimate connection, which used to be veritably sacred, its no surprise that being can be snared by and stuck in these loops.

And its not just ****. Social media doomscrolling, online retail, takeaway apps: they're all predicated on this idea that if you keep scrolling and scrolling and scrolling, clicking and clicking, you'll eventually fill some void - without ever truly looking at what that absense actually is.

Instead, the constant, easy-reach stimulation deafens us to the voice of conscience, just as the polished aesthetic veneer of it all blinds us to the path of worthier pursuits - those which ubiquitously require deferred gratification.

I'm sorry, I realise I'm just waffling and not actually offering any advice here. But I think its important for you to know that you're not alone, or personally at fault. A whole apparatus of self-sabotage has been built around you, and so breaking out of it will inevitably feel like self denial.

Epistle_Rich

Did my comment get deleted or is it pending moderator approval?

Rachel_Scope

@Epistle_Rich your comment got stuck in our filter overnight, apologies. It's now released 😊