Are we getting worse at talking to each other?
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this sums me up, I don’t want to talk anymore. I am now a closed book, nobody out there would care or know if I disappeared, let alone existed.
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You are part of the forum and try and help other members .
I would miss you on the forum if you stopped posting.Please take care of yourself.
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That quote makes me wonder if we're getting worse at listening @Rag_793? There have been so many times where I've been talking to someone and they have been scrolling on their phone. Or they need to do something on their phone that exact minute.
What does everyone think?
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I am practicing-self-reflection at the moment, I purposely cut off contact with old friends that I had been friends with for over 20 years. I went dark and stopped all lines of communication, which as someone who used to be outgoing is not good. I also put it down to me in a way having had to start living life from scratch in 2024 when I moved into a supported living flat. I have reopened contact with one of my mates who has been having it hard with his Autism diagnosis, alongside issues with his employer and DWP. Another friend has been having it rough for a while now, he has blocked my phone number so I can’t contact him. I have sent him a Moonpig Card with a message to say sorry and I have said I understand if he doesn’t want to speak to me. I am attempting to rebuild burnt bridges, I have not seen either of my friends for over 4 years.
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Hi
I think it depends on where you live a lot,
I was born and brought up in Essex and it wasn't until I moved up North to South Yorkshire that I noticed folk were a lot more open and friendly to each other at bus stops ,in queues in shops ,etc and struck up conversations with total strangers to pass the time,
I must have one of those faces where total strangers tell me Their life story ,which I always make time for and listen avidly ,plus respond with my experiences.
You never know if that person is lonely and you might be the only person they will talk to that day or week even
It costs nothing to be kind and lend an ear.
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Self-reflection is very difficult @Rag_793 so you're strong for doing it. It's wonderful that you've reached out to that friend with a card. Hopefully they can forgive and you can speak again. If not, you've at least tried. Some people are only meant to be in our lives for a short time. How is it going with your friend with an autism diagnosis?
@Rockhippychick I completely agree that it can depend where you live. I'm originally from South Yorkshire but now live in West. Most of the time people will smile or say hello as they pass and I've had conversations with strangers. Your last 2 sentences are very poignant. We don't know what is happening in people's lives and even a smile could change someone's day.
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I am taking things slowly, poor lad had a bad day with two DWP issues yesterday so his head was spinning. I am gonna send him a message later to just say anytime he needs to talk he knows where I am. I have also said at some point I want to meet up somewhere for a coffee and he said absolutely which is good.
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That sounds really positive @Rag_793. It seems like a good idea to take it slowly but I'm glad you've said that you'd like to meet up.
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I had a conversation with someone at the Drs today! It was an older lady and we chatted about her needing to buy new trousers as the ones she was wearing had paint on 😂 She was still in the waiting room after my appointment and I ended up saying bye to her too. It was so lovely and it's made my day.
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I have been doing some thinking, what is the point in communication when you have alienated and cut off people over the course of your life due to your mental health. I have tonight decided to give up on Facebook and Social Media in general, I need to go dark completely!! As of today I am shutting down, closing off avenues of communication and becoming silent.
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Hi @Rag_793 I barely talk to people anymore either IRL, so that I can focus on working through my tangled insides. I don't do social media and never have. I've been increasingly silent over the past four years, and the more solitude I have, the more peace I have with myself and the world. The endgame is to integrate again with people IRL, but silence and solitude are necessary now. There are so many other ways to reach out to people by reading books, listening to music, looking at art, making art, watching movies, learning about nature, being in nature - to name but a few examples. Of course this forum is made of people too, and the pace is perfect here because you can come and go as you please, comment if and when and how you please, and select who and what you listen to. It's a perfect place for people who aren't antisocial, but who are needing a break from the intensity and noise of socialising IRL or on social media. Anyway, I really like talking to you here. You did a post a while ago about an emergency pack you're putting together that is really interesting. But I can't find it. Emergency preparedness is a project I'm working on too.
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Stepping away from Facebook and going offline for a bit can be a great way to quiet the mind @Rag_793 but I understand why it brings up mixed feelings about past connections and communication.
I really hope you're okay and we'll be here for you if you decide to come back to the community😊.
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I hope you don't mean from here too, I'll miss reading your posts.
We're social beings, communicating with others is part of survival and wellbeing. I have a habit of shutting myself off and alienating myself when things are hard but it is actually counter-productive and isolating doesn't help anyone's mental wellbeing.
Find and protect your peace for sure but don't shut yourself away completely.
Take care of yourself
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I only go out for 2 hours per day, have done so for years. Gus is 8.5 yo next month, and I have sometimes wondered if I will go out at all when he dies.
Certainly, I could attempt to resume swimming again, but I suspect that would be more floating than swimming going forward. Public transport isn't up to much, and their isn't an accessible swimming pool within 10 miles.
If I still have my driving licence by then, I suppose I could look into getting a small car.
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Yes
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We've decided to pause this discussion temporarily. Thanks for your patience.
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The discussion is now open again. Please ensure that all comments are civil, supportive, and safe.
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