to have a baby or not

mollymoobarnes

Oh Helen hon, you've been through it! Nothing is worth putting yourself in danger so it's the right decision... Just sorry that you didn't get what you wanted. Love & hugs xxxx Maria

panther

Hi Maria

I guess we were going into the unknown when we started this plan because neither of us knew how things would be with me off my medication.
Unfortunately things didn't go as we would of liked but I guess it was better for us to find this out early on and before I conceived rather than have the possiblity that I could of ended up putting myself or the baby/child at risk.
One of the things we kept saying was once a baby is here you can't take it back!! I was also worried because I didn't want the child to end up being a young carer if my health got worse.

I just hope that this post maybe helps others who are thinking of starting a family think of some of the things we found we suddenly had to think about.

It was good to talk to you and if I can give you any advice as your son gets older I will try and answer posts to you.

Love Helen xxx

mollymoobarnes

Hi Helen

It's just sucks that you have had to be so rational and think things through so hard. I would very much like your guidance re: Tom - I don't know anyone who can help me along the way so I'll keep in contact! The new thing is that we have discovered that he can cycle a special needs trike! He's taken to telling everyone and anyone that he is Bradley Wiggins! Yesterday he came out with the all time classic dinnertime conversation-stopper "I am God" - to which I replied "no you aren't Tom" and he replied "yes, I am Mummy" - I laughed so hard I nearly wet myself. The other day he accidentally rocked forward while sitting cross-legged on the floor in his bedroom and face-planted the floor while I had my back turned and when I jokingly asked 'what are you doing Tom?!" he said "I fainted". He's quite the little comedian! Take care you xxx

panther

Ahh bless him. It's good that he can ride the trike I never got past having the stabilizers taken off my bike, I had problems doing the pedals I kept doing them backwards.

When I was older we got an exercise bike which I eventually learnt to do because there was strapes for your feet to go into but even then I'd have times when I forgot and did the pedals backwards!!

If Tom has a sense of humour it will get you far and help get you and him through the difficult times. I've found being able to laugh about some of the situations I've been in helps.

If you want to start a different post so we can talk easier just let me know what you've called it!! It's a pity that you can no longer exchange email addresses on here it would be so much easier.

Take care both of you give Tom a hug from me xx

Hymerkar

Helen, I havent been on here for a while, and have just sat and read this thread from the start. All the way through I hoped to read by then end you were pregnant because I know it is something you have wanted for quite some time. I was really sorry and upset to read that you have had to decide not to try for a baby. I know how hard that must have been for you both.

Take care hun, and keep your chin up XX

katiewombat

Hi I am new to the forum and this is the first poat I have read, but i would really like to reply. I have Ataxic Diplegic CP and can walk, well fall on my bum alot. Having children is the best thing I have ever done. I have 4 of the terrors. I am not going to pretend it is easy, but the are my world.
I do struggle with things like cooking for them and can't run after them ect and we have the odd accident and I do get very tired, but then I also have Fibro and ME too.

Good luck on your journey into parenthood.

Katie

panther

Hi Karen

It's good to hear from you hun how have you been?

Yes this was a hard decision in the end and yes we would of liked a different outcome in the long run. But I guess it was better to make this decision now than to find out all this once I was pregnant or after the baby was born.

I guess I hadn't realised just how much of an effect the tablets were having in making life a bit easier. If anything there have been times when I've felt they weren't doing anything! But having now seen the number of falls etc I was having without them I now know otherwise.

Hope all is well with you take care xxx

christina

I don't have a physical disability but I do have bipolar disorder, my husband has c.p and I really want to have children. He is really scared about becoming a father because he doesn't know what he will be like, he wants to talk to other dads in the same position. I'm trying to help him but I think he needs someone in his position

sweetestmoondust

Hi I am a mum with cp diapleagic but mild. I have healthy twins. I find that having a routine really helps. So even if the kids have a busy social life I have a routine so no matter what I manage to rest. I have a cleaner who comes every two weeks to keep on top of the household chores that my husband or I can't or don't have time to do. I also have a gardener who comes to do it twice a month between march and Nov but you need to look into what's around you and know what you can physically do. My parents taught me one thing which is there is no such word as can't just a way round things. Work out what's best for your situation

Gemstr

I don't know whether this is an old thread and someone will read this message I am 12weeks pregnant and have cerebral palsy I walk with 2 sticks and have no balance. I want to keep my baby desperately but haven't enjoyed the pregnancy one bit and I am constantly up as I worry I won't be able to lift my baby. I really don't know what to do. Has anyone been in a similar situation please help.

sweetestmoondust

Please keep the child. Your family will be willing to help you I myself have cp and with the love and help of my family meaning my husband I kept my twins . who are a treasure and understand more about the condition the older they get. Get a network of people around you to

the_velvet_girl

Hello Gemstr, I don't have kids but enjoy watching my friends kids even though I find it very tiring! I can't carry the kids and walk at the same time so I used a sling and a buggy in the house when the kids were wee. I could lift the kids from the floor sitting on a low stool up onto my knee. One of my friends had a big Silver Cross Balmoral style pram which I could use to balance when walking in the ice and snow although I did use taxis a lot when the weather was bad. The drivers all got to know me and would lift the car seat in/out of taxi and set up travel system for me. Have you thought about a nanny or au pair I can't have my own kids but would like to adopt some day. I'll need help due to my fatigue levels and will only work 2-3 days a week.