Education and learning
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Going to College

HaitchHaitch Member Posts: 5
edited September 2014 in Education and learning
Hi, My son has Right Sided Hemi-Plegia and only has the use of one arm,he is 25 and is currently on the sickness benefit which he has been on for the last 3 years. He had an operation to insert a metal plate in his hand/forearm and about 18 months ago we found him on the floor in his bedroom unable to move,this is the second time it happened, the first time he did not tell us, after all the brain scans, numerous tests etc the doctors are satisfied he fainted and it was not a fit although people with CP are susceptible to fits, I really would like to get him into college and in fact we have been (my son and I) to the college for the last three days back and forth and what an ordeal it has been, Firstly I want my son to go to college to learn something but also it gets him out of the house and meet people. I have finally got him enrolled and he starts in September studying IT Level 2, he only just and I mean just had the qualifications to gain entry.

His mother is very worried because she says he is very quiet, lacks confidence and does not mix and she has a picture of him in her head sitting all alone in the classroom, he sometimes likes to go out for a pint with his friends but recently a bouncer got him in a head lock and threw him out of a bar saying he was on drugs, and he has been refused entry to bard numerous times in the past when he used to wear a splint, that's why he had the operation, so he didn't have to wear a splint

I asked him if he would like to go to college and he wasn't sure, so I said, how about going until Christmas and see how it is and if you don't like you don't have to go back. He picked the IT course himself as he had done IT previously at school, he left when he was 19 and always had a "Statement" at school.

I am now starting to think if I am doing the right thing ? and have come on here for some advice to see if anyone has had a similar experience, I am starting to think that this course might be too difficult for him but wonder if he should give it a shot, I rang Connexions but they say he is too old for them to get involved, we have a meeting with Sudent Support in two weeks time but as time goes on I am thinking am I doing the right thing for him, his mum dosen't think so !! But I think it is best that he give it a go, I have always said to him just try your best that's good enough.

He still lives at home with us and I am happy to provide for him for the rest of my life. You cant imagine how hard it is for me to write this, all I want is for my son to enjoy his life to the full


  • kingboy25kingboy25 Member Posts: 57 Listener
    Of course you are doing the right thing. I'm sure if he can't cope with the work the college will help. I'm sure they wouldn't accept him onto that level if they thought he couldn't cope. I just wish my son would do a college course it would give some structure to his day.
  • libbytlibbyt Member Posts: 30 Courageous

    My son is 16 and starts college in September. He also has little confidence and does not socialise with his peers, only adults!

    You need to find out what support is available for your son in college. My son is doing a foundation course to give him life skills and build his confidence before he hopefully goes into IT or whatever he wants to do.

    It's very difficult, we all want the world for our kids but at the end of the day, it is down to them. All you can do is make sure that he has the support that he needs in college. We looked at a few different colleges for our son before picking one that is very supportive and has an LSA in every lesson for those who need help. Unfortunately there seems to be very few colleges that offer support for students with extra needs.

    Good luck!

  • kingboy25kingboy25 Member Posts: 57 Listener
    my son is very good at maths, maybe because he loves money so much but he is quicker at mental maths than his financial adviser at the bank.
    Although he is not academic he got good GCSE results with Bs in both maths and English.
    I think some people with cp do struggle with number work but this can be largely overcome in many cases if the right teaching is given.
  • HaitchHaitch Member Posts: 5
    We have a meeting in a few days with student support, can anyone tell me if it is true that people with CP have a Math disability ! My son does not like maths and I am wondering if it is part of his disability .

    Thanks for your replies
  • libbytlibbyt Member Posts: 30 Courageous
    My son cannot do any type of number work including money and telling the time.

    I have read that often people with cp struggle with maths, definately the case with my son!!

  • KayPorretta-WhiteKayPorretta-White Member Posts: 3
    My daughter is 19 and on the 10th of September starts a life skills course at Merthyr College. She is the first person with her level of disability to be accepted on a full time course.

    Sadly we still haven't been able to get to the point of agreeing funding with the Local Health Board as in Wales the Welsh Government does not allow direct payments for Continuing Health Care.

    I employ my daughters enablers directly and she has an amazing support team which will be with her through her journey into higher education. Tyla loves going to live gigs and night clubs and has only ever had positive reactions. She has also made some amazing new friends from all walks of life. The enablers have been amazing in facilitating Tyla's growth in maturity and confidence.

    My daughter is aware that Im writing this and I do so with her full agreement.

    For Tyla college is an adventure, she knows if she doesn't like it she doesn't have to go.

    You can only do so much. then its down to the individual. I hope you, your wife and more importantly and your son can get out of life whats best for you all

  • HaitchHaitch Member Posts: 5
    Thanks for all the replies, I really appreciate it, my son and I went to the College today to see Student Support and the lady we spoke to was really nice and reassuring, my son gave her permission to contact me if need be about any concerns that may arise, my son starts college on Monday 3rd September and I am really proud of him.

    I did mention the math disability but she wasn't aware of it and that is one of my concerns because he does not like maths and will need to pass level 2 maths this year if he is to progress on to level 3 IT, but we will cross that bridge when we come to it, as long as he is happy that is my main concern. I will let you know how he gets on.
  • HaitchHaitch Member Posts: 5
    You need to find out what support is available for your son in college. My son is doing a foundation course to give him life skills and build his confidence before he hopefully goes into IT or whatever he wants to do.

    I am now starting to think if my son should have done life skills to build his confidence before this IT course !!

    I hope this course is not too hard for him and that he wants to pull out, it was his choice to pick IT, anyway I have told him, give a go until christmas and if you don't like it pull out.

    I know college is the best place for him to meet people and it gets him out of the house
  • libbytlibbyt Member Posts: 30 Courageous
    Hi Haitch

    How's your son getting on at college?

  • HaitchHaitch Member Posts: 5
    My son has settled down well in college, I am over the moon for him, in fact today he had to go to see someone from "Student Support" to see how he is getting on, I asked him if he would like me to go with him and he said no,

    When he started college I said stay until Christmas and if you don't like it don't go back, but he went back so I think he must enjoy it, (I hope), I just hope he does good enough this year to want to continue the next course level.

    It's going to be very hard for him to get a job especially in the current economic climate, and with so many able bodied people looking for work, so I hope he stays at college for another couple of years to further his education.

    I am proud of him

    I will keep you updated
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