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Violent behaviour

ShirlShirl Member Posts: 1
Andrew is 9 now and it really really hurts when he hits and bites and hair pulls. Nothing seems to work. He has learning difficulties amongst other disabilities. I am finding it very hard at the moment


  • Jo_BJo_B Member Posts: 1
    Shirl - That sounds really difficult to cope with. What kind of support are you getting from your Social worker and their team? Do you have other people to support your son so you can get a break?
  • JimJamsJimJams Member Posts: 175 Listener
    I have a calm down routine with my son, it is a small card I carry with me and have them in the house, to try and get him to breathe and count to ten etc, I also reinforce no hitting by using pictures/symbols and sad face card, dont know if this will help you , I hope things improve soon
  • BusyOTBusyOT Member Posts: 76
    Hi Shirl, I think you and your son need some professional help and support. It's really important to get some strategies in place to try and manage these behaviours or work out why he does them. I can't give you any specific advice since without doing assessments and really working it through I could do more harm than good. Are school supportive? I think you should ask for a referral to the CAMHS team and request advice from the Clinical Psychologist (school or GP can do it). As the others have pointed out you need some support for yourself and you need to discuss some respite with your social worker. If all these professionals are "too busy" and have long waiting lists - try pester power, they will see you to help eventually.
    It might also be worth looking at the challenging behaviour foundation's website - for advice, guidance and support.
    I hope you find some help soon. Keep in touch and although I can't give advice there are many other lovely people in the forum who have been through similar situations and are willing to help.
  • JimJamsJimJams Member Posts: 175 Listener
    Hi Shirl how have you been getting on, I hope you have made some progress with reducing the biting and hairpulling, I know how hard it is, it seems to be mum who gets all this, I know I do, I am sure he does not mean to hurt you and just remember he loves you no matter what happens.
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