Parents, carers and disabled parents
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Puberty

AlistairAlistair Member Posts: 104
I am father and sole carer of my 12 year old daughter with MLD (diagnosis ‘global delayed development'). She started her periods last December and I have been keeping a record of her cycles. For the first 3 months they were very regular (3 weekly) since then they have been much less regular. It is very apparent that her cycles affect her behaviour and she can become very aggressive. My GP told me to give her paracetamol but it's not easy to get her to take medicine and anyway I'm not convinced that this is the best way to help her.
My questions are: how can I help her, is the any way I can predict when she is feeling, I don't know...uncomfortable and what should I do?
As you can imagine I feel very out of my depth here and wish I could do more.
Please treat this with sensitivity

Replies

  • EmmaEmma Member Posts: 88 Connected
    Elizabeth Trescher on Netbuddy's facebook writes:
    You could go & see a family planning counsellor. They should be able to provide you with help re: pain relief, mood swings etc. I'm sure that if you asks your G.P a clinic will be recommended to you. Some surgeries now have their own family planning practitioners. There are some natural herbal tinctures that may help too. Baldwins Health Food & Natural Remedies shop offer some tinctures that may help. I'm not sure if they're online or not.
  • Helenx3Helenx3 Member Posts: 17
    Hi Alistair, this must be so hard for you. Please try not too worry its early days for her and she will settle into a pattern which will then help you recognise her mood swings. Does she understand what is happening to her? A nice warm bath will always help to both calm her down and help the pain. H
  • HeatherHeather Member Posts: 171 Listener
    Hi
    Tough for a dad I'm sure. Having been raised by my dad I can remember his horror when I announced I was bleeding! My "normal" daughter started her periods a couple of years ago so I can relate to the mood swings and irregular patterns. We found my daughter knew she was tearful and aggressive for "no reason" so a regular dose of evening primrose helped to even out her moods alittle. Has you daughter's school got a nurse? or a sympathetic teacher who could chat with your daughter to make sure she feels in control? Not easy, but it should soon settle down and improve.
    Good luck
    H
  • JimJamsJimJams Member Posts: 175 Listener
    Maybe try and source some educational videos or something to let her associate with her own feelings and what is happening to her body, or what about a befriending service you could try and get a female to have chats with her so she does not feel awkward. Good luck
  • AlistairAlistair Member Posts: 104
    Hi everybody, and thanks.
    This evening we had some incredibly challenging behaviour. A pinch so hard that it tore skin off my arm. But when we sat down to do a puzzle together she apologised and told me that ‘it hurt'. When I asked her what hurt she said it was her period. She has gone to bed with a hot water bottle and asked for pants and a pad!.
    This is real progress.
  • Helenx3Helenx3 Member Posts: 17
    Hey thats great progress Alistair. My son is at that hormonal age and altho different i can relate to what you are saying. He is getting very angry and restless, also physically hurting me and then 2 mins later he is so sorry and doesnt understand why he is feeling like that. Tough times!!!
  • AlistairAlistair Member Posts: 104
    Hi Helen
    Oh boy, boys! I have worked with adolescent males so can empathise with you.
    I think we have to remember that we can grow stronger through supporting our children through this phase.
  • AlistairAlistair Member Posts: 104
    Hi everybody. Has anybody got an idea for helping my daughter put on a bra?
    We've got the sports type but she can still get in a terrible muddle with it and then get very angry.
    She can dress herself, otherwise, (sometimes inside out and back to front but, hey, who cares!)
  • casdixcasdix Member Posts: 5
    You can get front fastening types which might help.

    I always fasten my bra in front then twist it around and hook the straps on the shoulders - not sure if she could manage that?

    hth
  • ericamarksericamarks Member Posts: 5
    Yes, if she can manage, fasten at front, then swivel round and add arms in. If this is too much, get a seamstress to adapt the bra with velcro fastening. Good luck!
  • AlistairAlistair Member Posts: 104
    Thanks for your suggestions, like I said; she has sports bras with no fastenings.
    I lay her clothes out, on the bed, face down so that she just has to pick them up and pop them on. But...bars....have so many holes! Honestly I have been learning so much about what it must be like to be a woman. Don't get me started on pants and pads! Thanks again.
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