Maybe you ought to see a GP thus getting an inroad into a Neurology Ward in Hospital. Your deteriorating brain cells due to these seizures could be monitored by CT scans and other more intensive scans for a specialist to see what exactly is happening. It is a nightmare to have all of this going on in your thoughts as alone your mind goes into overdrive and you can imagine all kinds of problems but this gets you nowhere, other than intense worry. Only a specialist could get your brain monitored by these medical processes.
But there is only one way to get into the system of the NHS and that is through a GP.