I am worried what will happen to me when my daughter moves out

shirley60

Hi everyone my name is shirley I live in Sunbury in a house of a2 dominion. I have a daughter living with me but will be moving to warden house after Xmas.  I have various illnesses mainly osteo-arthritis, morbid obesity, insulin dependant diabetest  severe depression, lipodoema etc. I am not mobile can just hobble to bathroom on two sticks, I have not been out of the house for 11 months I have not been upstairs for ten years I sleep on a reclining chair. I am just so fed up and lonely I have ywo other daughters but to be honest they are fed up with me. I have carers three times a day. My life is awful unless one of my daughters cooks and brings some for me then I donthink have hot meal I know this sounds like something from the cavemen days but this is my life. I have a wetroom downstairs, but I am worried what will happen to me when my daughter moves out.

bam

@shirley60  LOL you have my mother's name. My mother's name is Shirley60 too. I never thought I would ever meet another Shirley60. What are the odds? I'm sorry things have been tough for you. Just because you're disabled doesn't mean you have to be lonely. Everybody here would love to be your friend.

Sam_Alumni

Hi @shirley60 welcome to the community, do join in on discussions here, there are lots of friendly people here.

A good place to start is the Recent Discussions where you can find all the latest posts.

Im sorry you are having a tough time and I can imagine how much you must be worrying.

@InformationSupportWorker or @DebbieVoakes do you have any information that could support Shirley? 

Debbie_Alumni

Hi @shirley60,

It sounds like you're becoming anxious at the prospect of your daughter moving out and worried about how you will manage once she leaves.

If you haven't had a care needs assessment recently, it might be a good idea to think about asking for one to take into account that you will be on your own. It might be that you could have an increase in your care package. Your social worker (if you have one) will also be able to let you know what is available in your area in terms of support and provision for hot meals.

If you're living alone and on certain means tested benefits and no-one is claiming Carers Allowance for you, you might be eligible for some extra financial help by way of the Severe Disability Premium. You haven't told us about whether you're getting benefits and which ones but if you would like more information about the extra help available, let me know.

Maybe you could ask A2 Dominion about a move to accommodation which is more suitable for your needs. You mention that you can't access upstairs in the property and you have difficulties getting around the house, so this could be something to consider?

Could I ask Shirley how old you are too? This will allow me to look up some local information and advice for you.

Best wishes
Debbie

shirley60

Hi thankyou for replying I am 60 years old and I'm living on my high rate dear and esa so running this house and some food takes every penny and I never have anything to spare. My daughter is special needs and wants to move out. My other daughters is my registered carer and comes round sometimes but now my daughter at home has a job she is gone all day and I am mostly on my own sometimes I am on my own and  get so down I want to end it all I have no life sitting here day after day just TV,  crosswords bit of colouring, letting my house go down hill is killing me. I'm sorry to everyone for being so miserable it's just the way I feel. But I do hope you all have a lovely Xmas. 

Debbie_Alumni

Hi @shirley60,

Sorry for the delay in replying to your last post. I hope you had a nice Christmas and the New Year has started well for you.

I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling so down about your situation. Isolation and loneliness are no joke and can really impact on your well-being. There is help available though and I would re-iterate what I said in my last post about having a care needs assessment by your local authority. 

Age UK has lots of services nationwide and they are really focusing on loneliness. They have befriending services, lunch clubs, exercise classes and much more (depending on where you live) and they can also provide advice and information. You can check if there is a local Age UK service in your area here. They may even have a home help service which can help you get on top of the house.

Let us know how you get on.

Best wishes
Debbie

Francesca1994

Hi!
I'm Francesca and I have Cerebral Palsy. Please don't worry. I moved in with my dad at 15 and it was the best thing I ever did! Have you ever thought about getting some adult colouring books to pass the time? I personally love these as the designs are really intricate. Hope this helps!