Health Service Manager of Autism team - can I help?

maryl

I am a mother of an adult son with mild intellectual disabilities. I am a retired health service manager(Autism Team) and have years of experience both personal and professional, working with families and individuals with intellectual disabilities. Please ask me if you have any issues, I hope I can help.

Sam_Alumni

Hi @maryl welcome to the community and thank you for your offer of support! I look forward to chatting with you.  Jump in and get involved, you might like to look through the Learning Difficulties and Autism category.

Blue Frog

Hi @maryl nice to have you in our community. Just wondering if you have come across anything like this....

My brother (in his 30s)  has a moderate learning disability and autism.  He is usually great and we all love him to bits.

But sometimes it is as if he is determined to have a row with someone, he appears to be actively trying to find a reason - and even if you ignore/soothe/be nice he will find something!! E.g.  I took him to buy some trainers and we drove past the station on the way back and he launched a tirade of verbal abuse at me because he thought I was picking him up from the station when I hadn't arranged it once, 18 months ago ☹️

It tends to be at the end of an enjoyable activity or a holiday so I am wondering if he subconsciously tries to ruin things so he is not upset they have ended? Is this an actual thing, and what do we do please? He has been like this since a child but it is scary now he is a 6ft bloke!  x

Deblegs

Hi Mary, I live on my own.  I am finding this hard because I am not getting much support other than the bit I get at church.  Social Services would not help me.  I I do not have a personal budget so I can't access autism support or supported living.  Get fed up of having no one to talk to.

maryl

Hey Blue Frog, this type of behaviour usually is the result of changes in routine as you probaly know. I have found in my personal and work experience that many adults with autism and L.D. go through various stages in life where there is a big change and it happens about every 7 years or so. My son is also in his thirties and because he has delayed development he is only going through puberty and has many confusing feelings going on. I have 5 daughters who all went through this at a younger age but you can understand with our adults it is a lot more confusing. My solution was to make sure he was kept busy and I used music therapy to defuse all his confusing feelings. This is not complicated as I took him to a local community centre where they had people learning about music and he also goes to drama classes. I dont know what area you live in but I have a good network of contacts and I can send you some tips on behaviour issues.
Mary