If this is your first visit, check out the community guide. You will have to Join us or Sign in before you can post.
Receiving too many notifications? Adjust your notification settings.
Friendships
kenny
Member Posts: 77 Courageous
Do other wheelchair users have difficulty making friendships , I have people I speak to etc when I go places but no mates my own age, I am 32 to have a night out with as most non disabled people have. I suppose they don't want to be bothered with a wheelchair tagging along they only see the chair not the person in it.
Replies
I'm wary of people, a lot of them freak me out!
But want you to know there are people out there who wouldn't notice your wheelchair they'd just see you for you and what you can do not what you can't.
I hope you find kindred spirits on here who you can chat with
Joanna
It's usually quite tough for most people to make new friends! Can you look around for a hobby or group you might like to try?
Senior online community officer
Ive always had dogs, have made some of my best friends while out walking my fur babies.
There will be lots on here who'll give you advice who may feel the same as you xx
Senior online community officer
I think it's called befriending.
Other volunteering work helps make friends, in places you wouldn't expect xxx
I used to have a lot of friends but slowly over the years they have stopped calling or visiting. This is likely down to my unreliable life now, I cancel often because I'm having a bad day or it could be that I have actually changed.
I have always spoken honestly, but over the last few years I have adopted a 100% truth policy. It's often not popular with people but I am so much happier now I don't say what I think people want to hear.
Pain also has made me an old grumpy *insert word* and so I don't blame people for not wanting to be around me. I manage to appear fairly normal on social media and I have some good friends on various social networks and so for now that is where I socialise.
They think you will be bitter and boring.
They believe you will hold them back while getting anywhere.
They don't want life's "bad stuff" to get close to them.
They don't want to see how fragile their own existence is.
The lies bother me too. "Oh sorry I've not been, I just don't know what to say."
It was much worse back before I was in remission. Tell someone you have cancer and a look of horror and revulsion comes over their face.
I wouldn't want to meet some pitying do-gooder though. Forums and text chat have been the way for me. Everyone is the same behind a computer screen. It's all about who is inside then and not about the shell.
I read the full discussion here. I have to say it does not matter if you are wheelchair user or not, that stope people to make friendship or uphold the friendship just been before.
In many cases people just have very active lifestyle these days. Full times jobs, gym at lunch time. After work- running to empower themselves to entrepreneurs or conference, business or networking meetings. Finally coming home knocked dawn that they hardly can prepare any meal themselves so use microwaves reheated dishes from supermarkets and on top of that if you have family with kids whom scream for attention the old friends seems just to be forgotten.
And if you work, let's say in London and leave outside of city on average the journey one way is over 1.5 hour one way, so 3 hours a day (if everything works perfectly) you are spending in train.
This is just lifestyle of XXI century. If you look now for friendship from people who have similar style of living I just described above I would not count for it but look for people who are in similar situation and have much slower lifestyle (due to any reasons) they will be the one you should hang too.
Have a nice weekend and hope you will feel much better soon and you will find new friends.
Iza
Her reason why are that we are making other people jealous.