Hi, my name is ladybug1166! — Scope | Disability forum
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Hi, my name is ladybug1166!

I havw spastic dyspaisia my legs ans hips are very tight. My boyfriend is over 500lbs and I was wanting to lnow if there ways for us to have intercourse? 


  • Sam_Alumni
    Sam_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,682 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @ladybug1166 welcome to the community.  I have moved your post to the Ask a sex and relationships expert category.

    You might like to read this post about spastic Diplegia & sex that has some great advice.
    Senior online community officer
  • PSHEexpert
    PSHEexpert Member Posts: 170 Pioneering

    Thank you for your question - I feel that there is hopefully always a way to have enjoyable sexual experiences with a partner, but when there are physical barriers it might take some thinking around.

    In your situation, where your partner is quite a big chap (and I say that respectfully - I am not a small woman!) and you have issues with your legs/hips, I think it would take some careful thinking about how best to achieve supporting his weight comfortably whilst ensuring that you are well balanced and comfy too.  I think sometimes we get a bit hung on on 'man-on-top'/'woman-on-top' positions, which are traditionally focused on one partner doing a lot of supporting themselves and can get tiring for both people, as well as having an emphasis on the receptive partner having their hips and legs rotated open/parted.  It also means that whoever's having to hold themselves up, by default, is then a bit limited as to any other multitasking (as it were!) which can get a bit distracting and throw you off your groove.  SO.  My thinking would be to lean towards a position where you can prop yourselves comfortably to allow lots of touching and contact, and where you don't need to  put yourself in that potentially uncomfortable/difficult 'open' position.  For example, side-on 'spooning', or your partner on their side, you on your back with both your legs hooked over theirs - sorry if that's all a bit too graphic (moderators please moderate me if necessary!!) - obviously it's tricky without knowing lots about you both and your physical strengths and weaknesses but there are, I think, ways around it that don't involve lots of balancing and extending!  I also cannot recommend enough getting a bolster cushion (IKEA do good cheap ones, well done IKEA, you now sell sex furniture) - they are so useful for helping with propping, support, etc.

    - Gill 


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