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Lord Kitch Recruitment Poster
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WorksopChris
Community member Posts: 27 Connected
Carers UK Forum
Our Lord Kitch's finest is on it's way across the land ahead of the ( non ) General Election as a tasty reminder of survival / life in CarerLand for the majority of the 6 million+ strong army.
Feel free to forward on to anyone , even print out as a poster for someone's wall , say the local Job Centre ?
Anything ... but DON'T ignore the message !
############################################################
Brexit Cost ? Pocket Change ! How About £ 132 BILLION + ?
frownland to you (BCC) + 23 more
Hi .... General Election .... Brexit ?
There is one other Issue never prominent in any political campaign.
6 million + family carers saving somewhere north of £ 132 BILLION
per annum ... under terms and conditions that make some Third World
countries seem generous.
Carers Allowance ? £ 14 per week increase ... over 10 YEARS !!!
77p PER HOUR , falling if you care for more than 35 hours a week !!!
Let our " Lord Kitch " explain in plain English what's on offer for us :
We have run out of money.
The country is in crisis , social care is in meltdown , and my gold plated pension scheme is in deficit.
We need volunteers for the carers army.
Unsung heroes that have bailed us out for years.
Despite terrible conditions , hardly any pay , no prospects , nearly no support and no exercisable rights enjoyed by others , hundreds if not low thousands " Volunteer " for duty every month.
We need more ... otherwise the 40% tax rate may have to rise ...
It beats being unemployed even if we pay them more than you !
Age ? Not a problem. As young as 5 , as old as 95 , we take them all !
Disabled ? No problem , many disabled carers are already enlisted.
When you start to receive your state pension , we will , of course , cease to pay you Carers Allowance.
After all , we can't let you receive more than one " Benefit " can we ?
If you find any spare time while caring , why not find yourself some paid employment ? If you earn more than £ 120 per week , no Carers Allowance will be paid , an 100% clawback.
Why not study to improve your future prospects ? If you spend more than 21 hours per week studying , we will , of course , not pay you any Carers Allowance. If any problems , we wil require written evidence of your mode of study just to ensure that you are not pulling a fast one.
Why not be really patriotic and care for 2 or 3 ? Sorry we cannot afford to provide any extra rations.
If more than one of you is needed to care for a caree , sorry , only one Carers Allowance ration allowed.
Caree in hospital ? I hope it's not longer than 28 days as we will have to stop your Carers Allowance ration. Travelling each day to visit your caree and / or staying over ? How good of you but don't expect us to pick up the tab.
Travelling on public transport with your caree ? Fine , full fare like everyone else ... except for guide dogs of course , they go free ! So , to get free transport , just dress up as a guide dog and travel with your caree !
Guide dogs have Rights to accompany their caree , you as carers don't !!!
We'll even tax some of you for having extra space in your homes. After all , we cannot afford to increase taxes and loose votes , can we ?
For a few of the lucky ones who have fallen through the net , free meals are on offer from your local food bank. Latest figures show a minimum of 100,000 of you taking advantage of our generous offer !
Even top ups for those prepayment meters that go round like catherine wheels whenever you put that kettle on ! And , if they spin too fast and catch fire , we send out the fire brigade at no cost to yourself !
No union. No representation. We have even gagged your supporting organisations.
Zero hour contracts ? There are no contracts in your gulag ..... sorry , world , to worry about.
Just keep caring until you drop. That's all we ask ... and expect from you.
Your time is now !
Trouble is , he is not kidding .... and never has been ?
Delete ?
Kindest
( On behalf of 6 million + carers )
Our Lord Kitch's finest is on it's way across the land ahead of the ( non ) General Election as a tasty reminder of survival / life in CarerLand for the majority of the 6 million+ strong army.
Feel free to forward on to anyone , even print out as a poster for someone's wall , say the local Job Centre ?
Anything ... but DON'T ignore the message !
############################################################
Brexit Cost ? Pocket Change ! How About £ 132 BILLION + ?
frownland to you (BCC) + 23 more
Hi .... General Election .... Brexit ?
There is one other Issue never prominent in any political campaign.
6 million + family carers saving somewhere north of £ 132 BILLION
per annum ... under terms and conditions that make some Third World
countries seem generous.
Carers Allowance ? £ 14 per week increase ... over 10 YEARS !!!
77p PER HOUR , falling if you care for more than 35 hours a week !!!
Let our " Lord Kitch " explain in plain English what's on offer for us :
We have run out of money.
The country is in crisis , social care is in meltdown , and my gold plated pension scheme is in deficit.
We need volunteers for the carers army.
Unsung heroes that have bailed us out for years.
Despite terrible conditions , hardly any pay , no prospects , nearly no support and no exercisable rights enjoyed by others , hundreds if not low thousands " Volunteer " for duty every month.
We need more ... otherwise the 40% tax rate may have to rise ...
It beats being unemployed even if we pay them more than you !
Age ? Not a problem. As young as 5 , as old as 95 , we take them all !
Disabled ? No problem , many disabled carers are already enlisted.
When you start to receive your state pension , we will , of course , cease to pay you Carers Allowance.
After all , we can't let you receive more than one " Benefit " can we ?
If you find any spare time while caring , why not find yourself some paid employment ? If you earn more than £ 120 per week , no Carers Allowance will be paid , an 100% clawback.
Why not study to improve your future prospects ? If you spend more than 21 hours per week studying , we will , of course , not pay you any Carers Allowance. If any problems , we wil require written evidence of your mode of study just to ensure that you are not pulling a fast one.
Why not be really patriotic and care for 2 or 3 ? Sorry we cannot afford to provide any extra rations.
If more than one of you is needed to care for a caree , sorry , only one Carers Allowance ration allowed.
Caree in hospital ? I hope it's not longer than 28 days as we will have to stop your Carers Allowance ration. Travelling each day to visit your caree and / or staying over ? How good of you but don't expect us to pick up the tab.
Travelling on public transport with your caree ? Fine , full fare like everyone else ... except for guide dogs of course , they go free ! So , to get free transport , just dress up as a guide dog and travel with your caree !
Guide dogs have Rights to accompany their caree , you as carers don't !!!
We'll even tax some of you for having extra space in your homes. After all , we cannot afford to increase taxes and loose votes , can we ?
For a few of the lucky ones who have fallen through the net , free meals are on offer from your local food bank. Latest figures show a minimum of 100,000 of you taking advantage of our generous offer !
Even top ups for those prepayment meters that go round like catherine wheels whenever you put that kettle on ! And , if they spin too fast and catch fire , we send out the fire brigade at no cost to yourself !
No union. No representation. We have even gagged your supporting organisations.
Zero hour contracts ? There are no contracts in your gulag ..... sorry , world , to worry about.
Just keep caring until you drop. That's all we ask ... and expect from you.
Your time is now !
Trouble is , he is not kidding .... and never has been ?
Delete ?
Kindest
( On behalf of 6 million + carers )
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