If this is your first visit, check out the community guide. You will have to Join us or Sign in before you can post.
Receiving too many notifications? Adjust your notification settings.
Domestic Violence

Hi.. I'm Phil, Chronic Sufferer of Fibromyalgia and a male victim of DV. Survive helped me out initially and my case went to MARAC after my partner attacked me yet again on 22nd March. My nose was bitten, thumb fractured and she was arrested then bailed to her Mother's address. I love my partner to bits so refused to press charges or grant access to my medical notes relating to my injuries.
My partner is mentally ill and an Alcoholic, coupled with my love for her and my Christian Faith I forgave her and allowed her back home after the bail restrictions were lifted. Her kids were now gone however, taken into care due to her Alcoholism, Violence towards me and me being deemed too ill due the Fibromyalgia.
To cut a very long story short, I'm still at risk and in need of confidential support. Please would you be so kind as to advise.
Photo was taken March 22 this year, just before the Police facilitated my trip to A&E.
My partner is mentally ill and an Alcoholic, coupled with my love for her and my Christian Faith I forgave her and allowed her back home after the bail restrictions were lifted. Her kids were now gone however, taken into care due to her Alcoholism, Violence towards me and me being deemed too ill due the Fibromyalgia.
To cut a very long story short, I'm still at risk and in need of confidential support. Please would you be so kind as to advise.
Photo was taken March 22 this year, just before the Police facilitated my trip to A&E.

Replies
I can hear that you have been through a lot recently. Over the years I have met a lot of DV survivors who have allowed their partners to return for many different reasons.
It seems that both you and your partner need help and support in order for you to both move forward.
The first place I would recommend for you to start is the National Domestic Violence Helpline. This is a 24 hour help line and they will be able to give you the specialist advice and support. You can contact them on 0808 2000 247.
It is important that if you feel you are in immediate danger that you dial 999.
I hope that both you and your partner are able to get the support that you need.
Rebecca
Senior online community officer
My Fibromyalgia pain has been truly awful of late, as too is the fatigue. We've a lot going on, including having to sell my home due to mortgage arrears and being too small for the kids who are now in care.. I'm really struggling to cope and to think straight right now. Legally I'm deemed as a vulnerable person which I struggle with too, as I've never, until now, regarded myself as such. My head is mashed with all of this.
I happened to have an appointment with a facial/maxilla /dentist to day and I was looking at a poster about damage done to a man's face by a partner c/o domestic violence,and in the toilet was telephone numbers to contact helplines for women(which @RebeccaMHadvisor gave you ) but I found a man's helpline No which is 0808 801 0327,sometimes men's DV goes under-reported .
I do agree also that as @RebeccaMHadvisor that if you feel in immediate danger 999 would be the first call to make.
Hope this helps
@jose2
Senior online community officer
Senior online community officer
No idea why I'm blabbing this out.
Talking about what is happening to you is a way of dealing with it so 'blabbing' it out is a good thing.
One of the main things that happens as a result of domestic abuse is that your confidence goes. Many people will question over time about why they have put up with the abuse and the abuser. You are right to be fearful when she drinks, you are aware of what she is capable of.
By opening up to this group you are taking those steps to change the situation that you are in whether that be getting the help and support you both need or making the decision to leave the situation you are in.
I hope that the details of organisations like Mankind, Men's Advice Line and Refuge are able to give you the support you need to make the right decisions for you.
Rebecca
It sounds like you have been in this relationship for quite a while, was your partner like this when you first met? If you don't mind me asking that is.
Alisonm
Alisonm
I can't work due to the severity of my Fibromyalgia, am about to lose my home and really am in a right mess.
Senior online community officer